In the heartbeat she gave me,
would i give all to thee
once more.

If I wasn't gay would people care?
Would they actually let me breath the same air?
Could I actually go to school,
without people being so cruel?
Could I live in a world with no hate?
Maybe people would love me if I was straight.
It's not as easy as people think.
I can't just go to a shrink.
I didn't choose to be this way.
You really think I'd want to be gay?
I don't want attention,
I don't want fame.
This isn't some sort of game.
I am who I am and thats okay.
Most people don't see it that way.
I only wish I could be the same.
To have a wedding and it not be shamed.
I want to have kids and not be judged.
I don't want my reputation smudged.
But apparently I'm different now.
Sick in the head somehow.
Therapy and shock treatment for something that can't be fixed.
How did I get put into this mix?
Toxic and tragic,
that's my life.  
It's like I was stabbed in the back with a knife.
I'm gay,
what's wrong with that?
I get treated like some rat.
Using your holy books and your religion.
To fight against something that makes no difference.
I want to be a human not a punching bag.
Always getting called a ***.
Let that word have power and it gets to you.
But that words as good as whatever is stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I love being this way.
I don't care what you say.

i want your garden
sprout from the earth
breathe you in
consume all of you

i want to feel
green in my feet
in between my toes
it can't be beat

the sweetest smell
it's like the fuel
i know it all
a little too well

the warm embrace
what is this place?
it seems you've left
without a trace

who are you now
you've left me again
i feel the fear inside
purer than the water
that brought us here
it's beginning to get to me

Hand in hand
you walk with me.

I wonder if i'm enough.
Enough to make you stay, enough to make you smile.

I put everything I have into keeping this alive.
I'm not losing you.

I long for your beautiful smile
and your witty remarks.

I long for the feeling of warmth and comfort in your arms.
I long for your lips on mine.

What I long for the most is feeling cared for
Show me you care

Show me you want me
just show me how you feel.

I'm oblivious to other's feelings
I need to be told how you feel.

Just let me in.

The top
is not what you think

Each step
is led by your heart

I was
told to travel light

It leaves
more room to pick up

It's not
a straight shot up, though

But more
up, down, in and out

Don't run
or you might fall down

Don't stop
or you might miss out

Get stuck
look for a new path

Patience
and you will stay on course

Shortcuts
don't have real outcomes

Long paths
will help pace your growth

The top
is not out of reach

It can
be seen when you start

We all
wish to stand atop

The top
and swim in success

But fear
the journey ahead

Don't fear
what  you don't know yet

It will
all be known one day

The top
Has a special spot

Waiting
for you to fill it.