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Tay Mar 2015
The failing use of my right arm,
Isn't actually the failing use of my right arm.
It's just a way of keeping time.
And time is ticking.

He says he loves me.
He swears on his life that he loves me.

But love, I've come to understand,
Isn't warm like I'm told.
Love is a trap.
A greedy monster preying on my hope
And feasting on my unanswered prayers.
It's take and don't think to give back.
It's pushing until I have nothing left.
Nothing left of even my own.
Love is never looking in the mirror again,
Because you're disgusted with what he has made you into.

Long sleeves and high collars,
No plans on a Friday night,
Warning looks and cold eyes,
Bruised ribs and shattered breaths
Hands above my head and legs pinned under him.
But, still, he swears he loves me.

The failing use of my heart,
Isn't actually the failing use of my heart.
It's just a way of keeping time.
*And my time is up.
Tay Dec 2014
Hey you,
Yes you!
Sad? Depressed? Suicidal?

Stop scrolling down.

Just listen to what I have to say to you.

You sit in your room hating yourself.
You believe no one understands you and no one ever will.
You take out the blade and add one more scarlet line to your collecting.
You think you're just a worthless space in life and wish you could just end it.

Just stop and think for a minute.
Imagine if you did.

Imagine your mom and dad walking into your room.
You lay in a pool of your own blood on your floor
Staining the white carpet.
Your mother shrieks and runs to your side, bawling.
Your father yells your name, hoping you'll just wake up.
But you don't.
You're precious heart has ceased to beat.
Your younger sister runs into your room wondering what all the commotion is about.
She explodes into tears and runs to her room and hides under her covers.
Your parents yell to her, but they don't want to leave you.
They call 911 hoping they can still save you,
But when the ambulance arrives, they say,
"It's too late."

News about your death spreads fast.
Your family shatters and your community crumbles.
Your best friend doesn't go to school anymore.
She's too busy crying beside your headstone.
Your ex blames himself for breaking up with you
And making you think the separation was your fault.
The boy who secretly loved you cries himself to sleep every night.
The bullies are silent now.
They get an awful stab in their chest.
They know they caused this.
Your principal blames himself.
He thinks that if he would have stopped the bullies,
You'd still be here.
But everyone knows you're gone.

Your little sister is haunted by the
Image of your dead body in your mother's arms.
You were her best friend.
She's so alone without you.
She starts cutting her own skin and starves herself.
She's only 13 and is lost without you.

Your little brother, who was in preschool when you died,
Is always asking,
"Where's *****?"
Your parents don't have the heart to tell him
You're gone. And never coming back.
They just cry.
Your little brother is only 4. He'll never know who his sister is.

As for your parents,
They're shaken by your loss.
They don't go out with friends anymore.
They don't eat the food your sympathetic neighbors brought over.
Oh, and their jobs? They're too busy staring into the abyss they see in plain white walls.
The bills start piling up and they're losing your little sister.

The world is so silent from your death.
The stars aren't as beautiful as they used to be.
The sun doesn't smile.
The moon offers no escape from the black of night.
Not even roses- your favorite flowers- smell good anymore.

Sometimes, everyone closes their eyes,
And imagines that you're still with them.
But when they open their eyes,
They just walk back into the same
Lifeless
Colorless
Meaningless
Life without you.

Do you still want to make those ever lasting scars on your body?
Do you still want to ruin your flesh with burns?
Do you still want to end your life?

Please don't.
You are loved. You are wanted. And you are so special.
Don't do this to your loved ones. **They need you.

— The End —