You delay my salary and incentives
But expect me to stay positive
On work, do you want me to pace up
But you yourself don't pace up
When it comes to paying my dues
Fed up am I, with you!

You delay my salary and incentives
But my work, am I supposed to love
You keep me on tenterhooks
How can you be in my good books?

You delay my salary and incentives
However, the revenue, am I expected to drive
This is so ******* unfair
But you don't seem to care!!

You delay my salary and incentives
Lame reasons, do you give
Seriously, do you expect me to buy them?
Act, I will not, according to your whims!!

You delay my salary and incentives
With respect to the latter, has it been months
All this while, have I been very patient
Always bearing the brunt
Of your constant nagging and scolding
However, is there a limit to everything
The exact words of my grandfather
Now, have I reached the end of my tether
Always, do you want me to deliver
Now, it's time for YOU to deliver
That's all I can say!!

You are used to being overloaded with work
That's what happens when you work in a startup
Especially a startup dealing in Recruitment
That too, not run-of-the-mill Recruitment
You specialise in niche roles
Thus, you need to invest a lot of time and effort
In order to pull off closures
Yes, a recruiter's life is never going to be easy
But Recruitment pales in comparison to Research
When you are working on a major research project
You are essentially taking part in an almost never-ending race
Against that elusive devil, Time
A race you can ill afford to lose
And the race track is far from straight
In fact, it is full of twists and turns
Some of them are even more dangerous
Than those hairpin bends you often encounter
While driving up the mountains
There are also numerous obstacles along the way
And to cap it all
There are no prizes for winning the race
On the other hand, if you lose
There will be a stiff penalty
In the form of losing the client, for ever
And what's worse
Is the fact that your credibility will take a massive beating
From which it will be quite difficult to recover
Life will never be the same again
So, you have to win, no matter what
Of course, you are used to working hard
Whether it be Recruitment or Research
So, you put your best foot forward
And work out of your skins
Putting off sleep as much as possible
Even when your body is protesting vociferously
Against this blatant abuse
To add insult to the injury
Your laptop shows you the *******
And your phone literally dies
Sending you into a brainfade
That would have put even Australian cricketer Steve Smith to shame
Luckily, your father's presence of mind saves the day
But your troubles are not over yet
The harder you work
The more confusing the project gets
It's like being trapped in a maze
Except that it's a thousand times worse
Because the maze is controlled from outside
As if it were a puppet
With your boss pulling the strings
Thus, the harder you try to find a way out
The more you get trapped inside
With every passing hour
Hope slowly drains out of you
Until you are forced to admit
That all you can do, is pray
And keep praying for all eternity
Hoping against hope
That Harry Potter and his friends will save the day

Recruitment is like walking on a tightrope
You have to maintain your balance
Every minute, every second
While different people try to distract you
From different sides
The candidates, the clients
And finally, the boss
One mistake and it will be the end for you
You may think I'm being overly dramatic
But trust me, you'll soon understand
Handling multiple roles
For multiple clients
And speaking with multiple candidates
Is enough to send your brain into a tizzy
And cause your heart to beat
Way faster than what is considered normal
When you successfully close a role
It is considered "all in a day's work"
On the other hand, when something goes wrong
You're on the chopping block right away
Recruitment is indeed like walking on a tightrope
But it is also a tug-of-war
In which you get pulled from three sides
Yep, you guessed it
The candidates, the clients and the boss
A war in which there is only one loser
And that is you
I am sorry for being such a killjoy
But I believe in laying before you
The harsh realities of this profession
Rather than giving you any false hopes
After all, as a famous professor and wizard once said
"Numbing the pain will make it worse when you finally feel it"

Returning to work
After a rather enjoyable weekend
Is hardly something to rejoice about
Especially when you are handling Recruitment
And particularly when you work in a startup
A startup that supposedly gives you freedom
Freedom for the employer, that is
To keep nagging his employees
From time to time
But not freedom for the employees
To work as per their convenience
You feel like a balloon
Pressed on all sides
By the boss, candidates and clients
One false step
And Boom! you are back to square one
And left with a mountain to climb
At the speed of light
You know, though, what's the worst part?
It's the uncertainty
Whether it be in finding relevant resumes
Or speaking to a bunch of candidates
And trying to convince them
Or, if you do somehow manage to convince someone
Waiting for him/her to share the CV
Is like watching that infamous innings of Sunil Gavaskar
In the 1975 World Cup
It kills you from inside
Such that, you just can't wait
For a miracle to happen
Which involves the client
Uttering the magic words
"This position is temporarily on hold"

Hiring For Investment Banking roles
Is like wading through a swamp
At first, it may appear as easy
As winning the French Open is, for Rafael Nadal
Since there is a decent pool of candidates
Waiting to be tapped into
However, as the old cliche goes
Appearances are deceptive
There are numerous pits
In the form of various factors
That influence the interest levels
Of each and every candidate
Such as, the job location
The salary
The bonus payout
The appraisal cycle
The scope of the role
The reporting manager
The brand
And most importantly, the work culture
It requires a truckload of skills
As well as a fat lot of luck
To maneuver your way through the swamp
And successfully avoid these pits
Which lurk in the shadows
Waiting to catch you unawares
One slip-up, and you may lose a candidate
Every time that happens
You'll find yourself sinking into the mud
Slowly, but surely
The harder you try to escape
The deeper you end up sinking
By the time you find that "perfect candidate"
Your face is all that will remain above the surface
And the only thing that can save you
Is the client uttering the magic words
"This position is now on hold"

Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?
You assigned me five mandates
Three of which, are more difficult
Than even clearing the IIT-JEE
And even the remaining two
Pose a considerable challenge
Though far from insurmountable
Nevertheless, what makes you think
That I have the capability
The skills
And the stamina
To successfully pull off such a mammoth task?

Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?
You expect quality
You expect speed
And you expect numbers
At the same time
Is this not like having the cake
And eating it too?

Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?
I am working on five mandates
And racing against time
Every single day
In order to send a couple of resumes
For each mandate
No matter how hard I try
I always end up falling behind
That too by a mile
What makes you think
That I can successfully handle even three mandates
Let alone five?
Let me ask you again
Am I a human being?
Or am I a robot?

May has been a really difficult month
I have worked my **** off
Hunting for the right candidates
For a few roles
Which have almost driven me mad
And at the same time
Handling a few other roles
Which have, admittedly, not been as difficult
As the ones mentioned above
But still require a certain amount of time
Time that is as rare and precious
As a drop of water
In the Sahara Desert
And after all my efforts
I expected to close
At least one of these roles
In fact, I was on the verge of doing so
However, as always
It is Recruitment
Which has ended up having the last laugh
Leaving me with nothing to do
But start all over again
And at the same time
My dear boss has decided to assign me another role
Thereby adding to the already huge burden
On my hapless shoulders
May has indeed been a really difficult month
But it appears to have been merely a prelude
To the tornado that June is going to be
If the last few days are anything to go by

An acquaintance once advised me
Not to fret over Recruitment
Because it is the easiest job in the world
I have blocked him
But that's not the point
The point is
Recruitment is a pile of work
That keeps growing bigger and bigger
Until it surpasses Mount Everest
And it is also a fly
That keeps hovering tantalisingly above you
Daring you to swat it aside
Before making "The Great Escape"
At the eleventh hour
As far as today was concerned
Recruitment was losing the toss
And watching your bowlers being carted around for boundaries
In all sorts of directions
While enduring a long day in the field
Under the blistering heat of a raging summer
That has already wreaked havoc
Across the entire nation
Who knows what tomorrow may bring
In any case
We do know one thing for sure
Recruitment is anything but an easy job

It is a long weekend
A much-needed break
After four days of hard work
With no results to show for it
As the clock strikes nine
I slowly open my eyes
Still stuck in the twilight
Between my dreams and waking up
It is only the prospect of coffee
A strong, hot cup of morning coffee
Prepared by my dear  mother
And full of a rich aroma
With no sugar to spoil it
That gives me the strength
To climb out of my bed
I then head towards the dining table
To give my mom a customary hug
Before entering the kitchen
And grabbing that cup of coffee
As I head back to my room
And reclaim my bed
I check my phone
As I am wont to do
And bang! my Whatsapp is filled to the brim
With all sorts of notifications
The smile on my face
Turns into an ugly frown
As I check one of the many notifications
It is from my boss
Asking me to be available at one o'clock
For a call with a client
That too, that dreaded client
Which has ******* us over
More times than we can even count
And I also happen to notice
That the client HR has added us to a Whatsapp group
Which means there is no way we can back out now
Way to go, guys
You know for sure
How to spoil a weekend

Day after day
Week after week
Month after month
Year after year
You've shown the world
How not to be an employer
Treating your employees like slaves
Demeaning them with insults
That were way below the belt
Denying them their basic pay
For which they have braved storms
Scaled towering mountain peaks
And dived to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean
And firing a few of them
For no justifiable reason whatsoever
Today, however
You have sunk to a new low
It is bad enough to not pay your employees
But to accuse them of not doing their jobs
And lie to their faces'
That you've been paying them properly
Is despicable to the core
And goes on to show
That you are nothing more
Than a rat in the gutter
But then, the rat at least deserves to be put out of its misery
You, on the other hand
Deserve to rot in the confines of Tihar Jail
For a very very long time
Of course, we all know the famous saying
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
But it applies only to human beings
You are not one