I lay here staring
Hoping it will ring
The phone to my happiness
The remedy for depression
Closure to my insecurity
Why won't she call
Why cant she see
The need for her assurance
In my life.

In my world
She'd be queen
She'd be first
And i'd be happy

Im loosing it
Tempted to cut
To choke
To smoke
To get drunk
To forget
The hurt inside
If only i could
Tell her how i feel

Maybe she'll understand
Maybe she'll see
How important she is to me
But what scares me most
Is hearing the anger in her voice

The will to go on without me
Her happiness without me
The joy someone else might grant her

So if that day comes
The one where her silence deafens
Her gaze relocates
The spark dies down
And friction looses its grip
I'll crash and burn
Worst than 9/11
And i'll pay the price
One i can't afford

They don't understand
They say im too weak, too young
I know more than they do
Because its happening to me
This will be my 32nd disaster
And just like the first 31
I'll fight alone
I'll crawl alone
I'll cry alone
I'll be alone
In my corner
At the back of her mind

Im broken
No glue can fix me
Every nut, bolt and *****
I've lost them all
Help is no longer needed
But what i'll smile about
Is the fact that
When I hang from that tree
And then lay in my box
She'll look at me
She'll see me
She'll know what she missed
And when she speaks
She'll know how i felt
How i mourned
How i burned
Then she'll love me back