Here I was at a crossroads,

Four directions to move towards,

But four directions I wanted to move back from,

Should I?

Shall I?

I had dreams back black clouds loomed over them,

Failure seemed to be advancing towards me,

Like a bull,

I held the red rag,

I stood in my own way,

I was bringing myself down,

I had to try to move out of the way of the angry bull,

Charging down where I stood,

So I chose an option at the crossroads,

So I could live,

Survive,

But most importantly just so I could try.

I give it for free it doesn't cost me,
I give a smile,
I give a listening ear,
I hear other people's fears
I give some caring,
I share some learning,
It doesn't cost me,
I gain,
I build up my knowledge,
My understanding,
I plus,
I don't minus,
When I give for free,
Whats on offer,
I find there is more to gain.

I lost the losers,

I healed from those bruisers,

I outran those pursuers,

I won you,

I dodged the bad luck,

I jumped over the hurdles,

I smashed through those barriers,

I won you,

I turned my back on those who turned from me,

I stepped up to my attackers,

Looked into the eyes of my abusers,

I won you,

I lost myself in drugs and alcohol,

I cried through my tears,

I sobered myself,

I have been clean for some years,

I won you,

I laughed at bad jokes,

Avoided the smoke,

I treated myself better,

I won you.

If love is a game,

I played it

If love was,

To find fame,

I became famous,

If love is a gift,

I gave it,

If love is something to give a miss,

I miss it,

If love is an embrace,

Let me stay held within it,

If love is in you,

Then love is in me too.

You're upon my cloud,

It isn't allowed,

So walk of my cloud nine,

Seek what you cannot find,

Wine and dine,

How divine to be,

A seeker,

But never rest upon my clouded dreams.

I said I am a sinner,

He assumed I said I was a singer,

But no I am a sinner,

I fell into your eyes,

I folded into your arms,

I looked up into the stars and dreamed,

He can't tell where he ended,

Or where I began it seems,

He said we are two pieces of material,

Sewn seam to seam,

I said I can't help but agree,

I told him I was a sinner,

But he didn't hear me,

I told him I never murdered anybody,

I have only wanted enough cash to live,

I never envied my best friend,

Even when she did,

I only ever stole when I was a child,

And returned it right then and there,

I am not boastful,

I am a giver,

But I take sometimes,

Here or there,

Then he said why are you sinful?

And I told him because I wanted to love him,

He admitted clearly to me,

He felt the same,

And we should be married at once.

My Mr,

I am his Miss,

I like it when he gives me a kiss,

My Miss,

I am her Mr,

I like it when she is a giver,

We seem to be just divine,

Hopefulness is so entwined,

My Mr,

I am his Miss,

I like it when he picks up his dish,

My Miss,

I am her Mr,

I like it when I go and fish.

If I could do it over would I?

If I could take back each conversation we shared,

Every stare.

Every glare,

Would I?

If I take back every kiss,

Would I?

Every embrace should I?

I wouldn't rewind a moment,

I wouldn't undo a stitch,

Because I give this everything I had to gave,

And don't wish to take back any of it.

How I wished to count your fingers,

Your tiny toes,

How I wished to kiss your darling little nose,

How I wish to breathe in your scent,

You beautiful little child,

A God sent,

How I wish to whisper your name,

Your fingers round mine,

How I wished to tickle your feet,

And hear your laughter,

How divine.

Dear baby,

I wondered if the strands of your hair would be black or brown,

How when your locks fell out they would be scattered upon the ground like confetti,

How I wish I knew,

If your hair would be curly or straight,

I wish I knew if it was soft, delicate and scented of you.