It’s never been this quiet before.
So quiet I can hear my thoughts
Arguing loudly in the privacy of my mind.
Before that it was the buzzing of my phone
From all the notifications you gave me,
But other times too it was from the loudness
of your voice through texts when you typed
in all caps in a heated argument.
Other times too, it was just your soft voice
Just right next to my left ear, whispering sweet
Nothingness that made me feel special. Till
I realized you had said the same
words to every other girl you have been involved
within your past.
Then I shrink. I don’t feel special
Anymore. I don’t want you next to me,
I don’t want to feel second best.
Like you said, for me, its either first or nothing.
And to you, now I’m nothing.
So ill just go where I belong, where I can actually
Find mock peace within myself.
In the quiet that surrounds me.