spilled emotions with depth of ocean,
like no notion is good enough...
no longer careful of how she looks in the eyes of another,
you get what you get
& you also get what you give.

when your back aches from carrying burdens of worlds
for generations,
when your smile can only form as far as an odd slant
and your breath comes hard like its ran out twice already...
when you hear screams in the night
and sense no threat,
the madness seems like the only sanity
and all that's left to do is seated position.
-
sweet comfort from nothing,
stillness is more bitter than bitter-sweet.

does the thought of love free you
or does it haunt you?
does it put you at ease
or make you so uneasy that you cant find a stable stance...
-
the truth is,
the lesser starts to outweigh any sense of fulfillment in love
& then it fades,
& then you hope to find it again...
but does it come?
-
i'd say love is worth the pain it brings,
but don't take my word.

do you think its natural for someone to search for love?
or is it like some sort of forced perception
that we randomly fall into
because its so common to have that sort of connection?

full meals out of broken hearts,
quite malnourished,
if one might ask;
making unstable look steady,
taking flight before she's ready,
longing to be unforgettable...

the urge to be loved is slowly turning me savage.

expectations turned desolation,
you knew initially nothing more could be found.
still,
you allow tears to form
as your stomach turns
at the harsh realization
that nothing more can be found...
-
stop pouring yourself empty
into the cups of whom has no intention to replenish.

you like when i function,
don't you…
you like when my walls open up,
when i'm soft
and not rough,
destined for touch,
not in a rush...
-
you despise when i get upset,
don't you…
cover your eyes when i disconnect,
or when i get protective,
but if i cant protect my space
or whats too close in connection,
i start reflecting
then projecting
energies essential
but they **** up the flow,
so i forgive and let go,
then i grow.
-
i grow and grow,
i'm way up high.
i might out-grow you.