tell me i'm being a dramatic brat
because i'm the one
who turned you down
i threw you away

you have saved my life
too many times to count
i tried to give you space
these long years
six years ago
you met me
and i was a doll
and you were a bird
and now i am nothing

i expected to be your last
pick as it's been
for the past years after
she told you no as always
i actually expected that
i'm such a *****

but she said yes
she told you yes

i remember
when we were thirteen
back when we were thirteen
and now you're and adult
and i'm not far behind
and you said she'd be with him
and in my head i added that
you'd be with me
you'd be with me
it seems i've always been
a presumptuous little *****

i can't believe
i'm crying over you
you always made me cry
more than anyone
even back when i was twelve
do you remember when
we were twelve
and you told your instructor about
how you gave me my insomnia
you were the start
of the problem that still
haunts me at late hours
but you were the start
you were the start of me
of so much good
you are the only one who knows
the secret i won't tell a soul
not another soul
just us alone
you are the first one
the first one i loved selflessly

i tried to give you space
i know i came back a few times
but i tried to forget you
in other men
because you proved to me
not all men were
*** driven pigs
utter *******
like i grew up with

and i asked last year
i asked why not me
what with all our chemistry and how
you're the only one
i have ever let touch me
with out panicking
you are the only one
i asked why
and you gave me the reason
the one thing i cannot change
and i weep over it bitterly
that the only thing keeping me from you
is perhaps
the thing i love most about you

and i wanted one night to feed
my craving for all the nights
but she took it from me
the sweet girl
who has the one thing
i do not
the sweet girl
you met a year before me
and you fell in love with
seven years ago
a year before i fell for you
i love you

i just wanted that one night
one night
a girl who is devastated
over one night of her life
tell me i'm being a dramatic brat
because i threw you away first
and you haven't given me
a second chance i don't deserve
~