****,
You think I liked licking
Any part of your
Gross sweaty flesh?
You think I liked
having you on top
crushing my ribcage?

Do you honestly think any part
of me liked it
when your volatile rage
caused me to flinch and you
To lash out,
One too many times on top of me.

And you ******* dared
To tell me that something about my
Physical being was wrong
as though I wasn't already
vividly aware

And you stupid
Sacrificial goat
have the audacity
to appear in a flashback
of a dream
when I've been doing so well.

When I'm finally not scared,
You show up and I'm ******* petrified
Again.

I hate all that you are.
And all that you've become.

Breathe.
In
And
Out.
Breathe.

I am okay
I am loved.
I will move on.
Not in order to be loved.
I will move on from this damage
Out of love.

For myself.
And for my Bluebird.