A single tear flow 
as my ink leaves some
pretense of what
might be my legacy. 

I want to rest
a long sleep
The long night
of stillness, 
where winter
as come and time 
has no end 
and becomes 
a usless analogy, 
a measure of 
the human psyche

I am dying 
each day, minute 
and second of my life 
From the very first 
second that I was
thrown onto this 
Drifting piece of rock

Only that, 
I don't want to wait, 
a death bestowed 
upon me by any human
or divine intervention
unbiased,
unprejudiced,
a fair chance at death

I am tired, shallow and  fearful.
empty, lonely, repulsive, forgotten
and unloved
unworthy to leave
any tracks of who I am 

Some think of me 
as a poet, a nightingale
of dreams, a counselor
a friend
who always has
inspired words 
of beauty and sentiments 
and emotions. 
I am no such thing. 
I am a child,
jailed in a body 
of a man, frightened  
of my own thoughts. 

I am a victim of life, 
a useless piece of flesh,
so ugly and inadequate, 
who can't see a reason 
to genuinely smile,
who talks alone, 
who walks, restless throughout 
sleepless nights and is not 
really wanted

I'm a repulsive piece 
of meat, put together 
by mistake on an assembly line. 
I just want my beauty sleep 
the endless kind for those
who have been neglected
and have left of them 
no memories. 

I am one step closer. 
Oh Creator if you are really there
give me strenght to make the terrifying leap into the unknown 
and let me rest. 

To those I've loved 
as companions 
on this journey 
I ask to be placed 
under the shade 
of a coconut tree, 
so as I may give 
food to the hunger 
of those whom have 
allowed me to pass 
and my ashes will 
make good feed 
for the birds, 
the bees 
and the sons and daughters of man. 

So there I said it, I write it and put it out in the world to see, so at least one person will know

I am waiting for the end to come.