After hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
And months and months
Of sheer hard work
You would have hoped
To achieve at least one closure
In a year
That has been disappointing at best
And abysmal at worst
With backouts becoming as common
As India beating Pakistan in a Cricket World Cup
However, Lady Luck disappoints you
For the third time in a row
As the sheer miserliness of your client
Pushes your candidate away
And it is ultimately you
Who ends up being the loser
But that's not the worst part
The worst part is
Having to start all over again
With a rather limited pool of candidates
Still, it is not in your nature to give up
Especially after having come this far
So, you make a concerted effort
To find fresh candidates
And after a lot of searching
Followed by a lot of calling
You finally land a good candidate
But the client rejects him in a flash
Undeterred, you continue searching
However, the already limited pool of candidates
Starts shrinking rapidly
And just when you're about to lose hope
You manage to find a decent profile
However, the client rejects this as well
Quicker than the speed of light
And with every rejection
Your confidence dips
Slowly but surely
Until you can stand it no longer
And scream at the top of your voice
"Investment Banking Hiring Is Not For Me!"

What do you really want from us?
We've been working our arses off
For hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
Months and months
And we've faced numerous obstacles along the way
Obstacles placed by the market
By the candidates to whom we've been speaking
And by even yourselves!!
In spite of all these hurdles
We've done our best
To ensure that you get the right people
For the requirements you've assigned us
However, the way in which you reciprocate our actions
Is bewildering, to say the least
As far as decision-making is concerned
You're even worse than Hamlet!
You reject a lot of quality resumes
Without any rhyme or reason
You change your requirements
As per your whims and fancies
And then cry foul
When you lose a few good candidates
Due to your inexplicable actions
You put roles on hold at random
And keep the best candidates on tenterhooks
Waiting for an interview that'd never happen
And then blame them for dropping out eventually
You demand resumes at the speed of a cheetah
And provide feedback at the speed of a tortoise
All in all, you ensure that we tear our hair out
By its very roots
Every waking moment of our lives
In order to satisfy every whim of yours
But will you truly ever be satisfied?
Let me ask you again
What do you really want from us?

It is a long weekend
A much-needed break
After four days of hard work
With no results to show for it
As the clock strikes nine
I slowly open my eyes
Still stuck in the twilight
Between my dreams and waking up
It is only the prospect of coffee
A strong, hot cup of morning coffee
Prepared by my dear  mother
And full of a rich aroma
With no sugar to spoil it
That gives me the strength
To climb out of my bed
I then head towards the dining table
To give my mom a customary hug
Before entering the kitchen
And grabbing that cup of coffee
As I head back to my room
And reclaim my bed
I check my phone
As I am wont to do
And bang! my Whatsapp is filled to the brim
With all sorts of notifications
The smile on my face
Turns into an ugly frown
As I check one of the many notifications
It is from my boss
Asking me to be available at one o'clock
For a call with a client
That too, that dreaded client
Which has ******* us over
More times than we can even count
And I also happen to notice
That the client HR has added us to a Whatsapp group
Which means there is no way we can back out now
Way to go, guys
You know for sure
How to spoil a weekend