Seven thousand mile away
I studied Shakespeare by candlelight
due to long and constant power cut
yet I still made A1 grade in English Literature

My friends grew up in Shakespeare country
they have electricity twenty-four sevenRed
all they can write is diss poetry
and act as useful idiots for thieves and loonies
they tell me I am suffering
and cancelled
I say
“You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat’s-tongue,
you bull’s-pizzle, you stock-fish
O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor’s-yard,
you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!”

“Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage.”

“Villain, I have done thy mother”

“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell”

So we know why anarchists are dripping with envy and jealousy
about the man who read Shakespeare by candlelight
and yet bettered them all
so I say again

“You scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll tickle your catastrophe!”