I Didn’t Mean To

I didn’t mean to dim your light,
To turn our mornings into night.
The shadows followed me back home—
From places I had walked alone.

The war is over, they all said,
But not the noise inside my head.
The drills, the dread, the sharp commands—
Still echo loud in quiet lands.

You held me when I couldn’t speak,
When sleep was shallow, dreams were bleak.
I didn’t know how deep you’d bend,
To be a lover and a friend.

I didn’t mean to build a wall,
To vanish when you’d start to call.
I thought that strength was staying still,
But strength, I’ve learned, is choosing will.

You saw the fractures in my chest,
Still pressed your hand and called it blessed.
You never asked me to forget—
Just not to live inside regret.

And now, with you, I see a door—
A space where pain can hurt no more.
Not by pretending it’s not real,
But by the grace of how we heal.

So take my hand, if you’ll still stay,
And walk beside me, not away.
I won’t get better in a breath—
But love, with you, I fight back death.

No perfect words, no flawless grace—
Just shared resolve in this small space.
I never meant to make you ache—
But now I know, we both can break…
And still come back, for each other’s sake.

© 2025 Shawn Oen. All rights reserved.