Before /

Seconds. Minutes. Hours. Weeks. Months.
I miss it. It vibrates through my skin, through my arms.
I love you. And everything about you. Even when you would frustrate me. I miss that.
I had you. You weren't perfect nor was I but I saw you as perfect.
I began to change even with the three months I was gone.
I wanted to change. I needed.
Many countless times before I never did and it always repeated over and over.
But I actually did.
No longer was I doing the same things.
Everything was perfect, we were both so lame but I wouldn't trade our days together for anything. I'd love to be there with you, look at you, and kiss you. And know. She. Is. Mine. All mine.
But in the extent of a week and a half I let it all go by doubting that shed stay with me even through out everything these nightmares would ring louder and louder every night.
I fell apart. She never done me wrong. I didn't even deserve her but God turned her heart to give me one last chance and I blew it.
I miss you. I don't even know why I did it honestly.

After /
Everything echoes out what we were. Every where I look I remember, we had a memory.
Remember the songs you'd put on and id look at you weird? I listen to them daily now and think of your smile.
How easy is it for you? I need you I need you. Let me fight for us. Let me have an approval from you.
Let me know you still think of me. That you heart still cries out love for me. That I'm still the only one.

I became a *****.

But I want to be the man God has for you.
With you back I'll delete all these social media networks because they'll be no use to me.
I'll have you and only your contact to message and talk to.
I have no friends.
You know this.
You were my only one.
The one that knew what I wanted, what I liked and what I yearned for.
Without you I have lost motivation to do anything! I'm always in the stumps I honestly don't even see me having a future now without you. That's just me being honest not even just saying that. God gave me you for a reason and I didn't fully understand till now.
My deepest apologies.
I want you. I need you.
I need my Alette.
I have lost hope and interest in everything without you..