I fall in love with too many people
That I have never even met

I feel like I am
Many different people
At many different times
And right now
I am someone who
Wants to hurt others
And not give a ****
About the consequences

I am beginning to love
The things I hate about you
Because they are the things
I hate about you
I am afraid
Because I don't think I can grow
To love to hate anyone else

I had a dream
About you
Again last night
I saw you in the grocery store
You didn't see me
But
I saw you
I saw you searching for the things you needed
To make tea
And chicken noodle soup
Sickness maybe
I wanted you to see me
To realize how much you miss me
That you needed me all this time
Like I needed you
But you didn't notice I was watching you

I want you to listen to my signs
My complaining about my uselessness
Tell me I'm worth a ****
Take my arms and scratch me
Up
And
Down
Give me feeling again
Give me anything you can
Buy me a wristwatch
Tell me I have some time
You need me to stick around
Cut my hair
Tell me to grow it out

She is the whisper
That I hear in the night
The cooing that sings me to sleep
She is the bruises on my knees
From praying all night long
To a God
That I no longer believe in
She is the dark underneath my eyes
Because I didn't sleep all night
Because a fire was in my dreams again
Passing through the building in the shape
Of my mother's body
She is the stomach I lay on
That takes shape of another woman

I hope I die alone
No one around
Just me
One last time
Me and my thoughts
I hope I die alone
All alone
Because I don't want to make
Anyone uncomfortable
Thinking they have to love me
Or care
Just because I am now dead