I could feel the base vibrate inside my throat as I turned the music up, the car shaking. I hate silence because it makes me think. I looked out at the snow covered branches and sighed, my breath fogging the window. I waited for him. I knew that he was never going to be the same though. As I looked at the paint-chipped cross stuck in the ground, I felt it. The chill giving away his presence. I saw a shadow next to the car and smiled,” Thanks for coming,” I managed to say, as I drove away.

White Teeth Glimmering,
Fused With Bubbling Laughter,
I Love This Feeling

Every Grain Of Sand,
A Second,
Every Clump Of Soft Earth,
An Hour,
Each Molecule A Cell Taken Away From My Being,
Every Worthless Thought A Burden,
Mulling Over The Possibility Of Destiny,
Is This Mine?
My Fingertips Tentatively Touch The Glass,
My Future,
Slipping Away,
More And More By The Minute,
My Knuckles White,
From Clenching My Life Expectancy In My Palms,
Years Flowing Through A Sea Of Pain,
And Tears Rolling Down The Gullies,
Carved Into My Warn Cheeks,
The Hourglass At The End Of It's Life,
And Mine Is Gone With It's

Humans Are More Barbaric Than Any Animal,
Ever Could Be,
We Lie,
We Cheat,
We Harass,
We Play Little Mind Games,
We ****,
Practically Every Form Of Intelligent Life,
Including Our Own,
Nothing Is Ever Good Enough,
Nothing Is Ever Clean Enough,
Nobody Is Ever Talented Enough,
Nobody Is Acknowledged,
For Their Gifts,
Only Brought Down By Others Saying We Aren't,
Good Enough,
I Envy Animals Because,
Animals Are Straight To Eachother,
If They Dont Like One Another,
They Fight,
They Bite Eachother's Throats Out,
They Tell The Other To Leave,
And Never Come Back,
And They Listen,
But In Human Society,
You Have To Be Nice,
And People Put On That Fake Smile,
Tell You How Beautiful You Are,
Turn Around,
And Talk About What A Mess You Are,
You Have To Share With Them,
Invite Them Into Your Homes,
Pretend You Think They're The Most Amazing,
Person In The World,
Sometimes You Have To Be Nicer To The People,
You Despise,
Then The People You Love,
I'm Not Saying I Wish To ****** Anyone,
I'm Just Venting,
Because I Am Sick And Tired,
Of People Lying To Me,
Just Shut Your Mouth Already,
If You Don't Like Me Tell Me!
I Couldnt Care Less,
About Your Opinion,
Human Society,
Is A Mess,
Human Society,
Has Many Jewels,
But They Are Dusted Over,
From The Dirt Of The Morons,
Human Society,
Has No Natural Selection,
To Pluck Out The Idiots,
If You Ask Me,
I'm Tired Of These People Dimming My Sparkle,
And I'm Sure,
Many Of You,
Feel The Same Exact Way

A White Wolf Stands Strong,
A Black Buck Stands So Valiant,
Tension Swarms The Air

A Rose Slowly Blooms,
Then It Slowly Starts To Die,
A Soul Is Then Born

Two Golden Orbs Scan,
Our Forever Changing World,
The Pupils Contract

Wings Spread Greatfully,
Giving Way To Sweet Protection,
Then Resurrection

A Black Wolf Stands Calm,
A White Tailed Deer Panicing,
Green Eyes Batt Quiet

Patient Is The Sun,
The Stars Have Their Own Heartbeat,
Very Few Hear It

Je Suis Le Lóbo,
Ne Vois-Tu Pas Mes Cicatrices?
J'ai La Mentalitè

I Dont Know What To Do,
Deciding The Fate Of Me And You,
I Don't Want Love To Turn To Hate,
I Don't Want Misery To Be Put On Our Plates,
But Honestly I'm Confused,
About This Love Of Me And You

I Bounced Back,
From Being Attacked,
I've Gotten Letters In My Mailbox,
Evolopes Onyx Black,
I've Cried Myself To Sleep,
I've Lost Sanity,
But I Bounced Back

I Bounced Back,
From Being Hated,
From Being Degraded,
So Close To Being Disintegrated,
It Was ******,
Premeditated,
But I Bouced Back

I Bounced Back,
From Falling On My Face,
From Being Called A Disgrace,
From Being An Outcast Of The Human Race,
Inside My Veins Swims Emence Strength,
Because I Bounced Back

I Bounced Back,
From Blood Which Dripped,
Secrets Which Slipped,
My Heartbeat Tripped,
My Throat Was Being Gripped,
I Jumped Into The Ocean Just For A Dip,
That's When The Sharks Came And I Got Bit,
But Yet, I Bounced Back

I'm Sure If People Knew,
They'd See How Much We Grew,
And As If On Cue,
They'd Have Respect For Me And You,
And If They Had A Clue,
They'd Realize Our Strength 2 Preserver Through,
It's Hard To Paint A Master Peice,
With Our Colorless Hue,
Our Hearts Are Held Together With Super Glue,
Thoughts Askew,
But Me And You,
We're The Strongest Ones They'll Try To Cut Into,
*Because We Bounced Back

I Have So Many Words I Wish To Say,
To Describe The Way I Feel,
Yet I Think I'd Be Describing It The Wrong Way,
I'd Have To Disect Them--Tear Off Their Peel,
My Days Are Lifeless, As A Danceless Ballet,
I Am Hopeful Yet Lost, Needing A Spin Of A Prayer Wheel,
So That's Why I Walk This Worn Past, Wanting To Stray,
Stray To The Less Traveled Path, Just To See How It Feels,
A Path Where I Wouldn't Have To Be Ruled And Obey,
Where Life Would Be Kind, And Keep It's End Of The Deal,
Where Nature Would Be My Friend--Where I'd Lose Count Of Days,
Where I Could Soak In Every Shade On The Color Wheel,
Where I Would Sit In A Bed Of Flowers And Watch Them Sway,
But Sadly I Cannot Live In That World Which Seems So Ideal,
I'll Just Have To Wait, Till This World No Longer Needs Me,
Till The End Of My Days

When I'm With You,
You Stitch A Smile Onto My Face,
And When You Do,
Everything Falls Into Place,
When I'm With You,
The World Spins 8x Faster,
You Are My Saving Grace,
You Make Me Feel Beautiful,
As A Apple Red Aster
But It Always Makes Me Greave,
When You Have To Go,
But Someday Maybe You'll Never Have To Leave,
We'll Be Way Older Though,
People Say We Won't Last,
But If We Don't,
I'll Never Let Go Of This Prestent Which,
Will Be Our Past

Lust,
A Broken Promise Of Trust,
Love,
Something You Need To Handle With Gloves,
Tears,
Something That Comes From Every Hateful Word You Hear,
Evil,
The Same Four Letters Of A Name You Gave Your Everything To,
Pain,
When He Treated Me So Inhumane,
Today,
I Really Though I Was Finally Okay,
Yesterday,
I Was Okay,
Tomorrow,
All I See Is Sorrow,
Lies,
Something That Broke All The Last Ties,
Why,
Something I Yelled At The Sky,
Life,
I Stare At A Knife,
Tonight,
Come To Me Light,
No,
I Have To Far To Go,
Smile,
It Will Be Worthwhile,
Okay,
It Will All Be Okay,
See,
Just Believe,
Learn,
From The Burn,
And,
The Pain Will Be Banned

8/29/12

I Won't Let You Wreck My Future,
You Destroyed My Past,
I Wont Let You Torture Me,
I'm Done With You At Last,
I Was Ready To Get My Bags And Pack,
To Runaway And Never Come Back,
But Now I'm Switching Into My Mode Of Attack,
You Better Be Taken Aback,
You Brat,
I'm Finally Done,
Don't You Get It?
You Are Just Stuck Aren't You,
Stuck With My Mistakes,
Look In Front Of Your Face!
I'm Done,
Don't Try To Apologize,
I Will Never Forgive You

There Are So Many Things I Can Say To You,
To Try To Make It Right,
But Nothing Really Can,
I'm Sorry I Hurt You,
But I Can't Erase The Past,
I'm Sorry You Didn't Hear It From Me,
But This Wound Was Made,
Long Before I Was In Love With You,
It Was A Mistake,
It Really Was,
I Believed A Lie,
And The Outcome Still Haunts Me Today...

I'm Sorry That You Are Mad At Me,
I'll Try To Give You Some Space,
I'm Sorry That I Cant Take Away,
The Heartbreak Which I Gave To You,
If I Could I Would,
Because I Have Never Loved Anyone More,
I Am So So Sorry I Let You Down...

I'm Sorry Because I Saw Those Tears In Your Eyes,
I Knew You Didn't Want To Believe,
I Know,
I'm So Sorry I Let Your Hope Down,
I'm So Sorry,
I Crushed Your Loyal Heart....

I Have Never Been Unfaithful To You,
Please Believe That,
I Never Intended To Hurt You,
I Didnt Try To Keep It A Secret,
Because I Was A Liar,
I Kept It From You Because I Didn't Want,
To Talk About It,
I Didn't Want To Feel That Pain Again,
To See The Hurt I Have Inflected On You,
I Wanted To Move On,
Because He Was My Yesterday,
And You Are My Today,
And I Really Hope,
With All My Heart,
You Will Choose To Be My Tomorrow....

Look
          Into
My
        Green
Eyes
          And
Dare
           To
Kiss
           Me

Good Morning World, I See You Haven't Changed,

I See Your Skies Do Not Offer Blue This Morning,

And Your Pavements Are Cold And Grey,

Good Afternoon Heart, I See You Are Heavy,

I See You Are Dragging, Just Like Everyday,

I See Butterflies No Longer Kiss You,

Good Evening Sunset, I See You Are The Same,

Opening The Gate For The Stars To Shine,

Whispering The Day Gone,

Good Night Milky Way, I See You Still Loom,

I See You Are Still The One Who Harbors The Angels,

Who Have Given Me The Kiss Of Sleep,

Good Morning World....

I
  Think
              I
                 Still
                         Love
                                   You
                                            Because
                                                           I'm
                                                                ­  Still
                                                        ­                   *Afraid

Fleeing--Speeding Into The Impending Night,
Fleeing--Running Away From All That I Fight,
The Moon And Faint City Lights Lead A Small Trail,
My Heart Facing The Inevatable--Please Do Not Fail,
My Blood Heating,
Rushing,
Expanding In My Veins,
This Rehab Is Better Then Sitting By The Window Pane,
Tears Drying,
Intellect Dying,
My Heart Beating Steady,
And My Lungs Keep Trying,
Teeth Clench,
Human Hatred An Unbarable Stench,
Running Through The Darkness,
Running Freely In The Trees,
I'm Agile,
Fragile,
Though Strong As Stone,
In My Heart I'll Never Be Truly Alone,
As I'm Running,
It's Stunning,
How I Havent Stopped,
Usually I Would've Already Dropped,
Running--Green Irises Peel Back,
Running--A Human Heart Having An Attack,
Sprinting--Tear Filmed Eyes Glistening,
Sprinting--Those Same Eyes Squinting,
Retreating--Don't Try To Hold Me I'm Too Far Gone,
Retreating--My Wounds Have Begun Bleeding,
So Tonight,
Say Goodbye For The Evening

Flames Of Time Start To Burn,
Through The Days,
Through The Hours,
Throughout The Minutes,
Until It Boils Down To That Very Second,
That Second Where You Have To,
Fight For Your Well Being,
Tell The Truth,
The Whole Truth,
And Nothing But The Truth,
Let Me Take My Yesterday,
And Just Walk Away,
There Are A Million Endings Of This Story,
I Hope It Ends The Way I Wish It To End,
And Fate Goes With My Favor,
Fate Has Sided With You For To Long,
Its My Turn,
If You Say Life's Not Fair,
That's Bull,
Karma Will Get You Back,
I Just Hope,
My Torturers Will Have To Pay They're Debt,
Real Soon

Abundant With Life The River Stretches Its Body,
Bending And Winding Around The Earth's *****,
Cormorants Swim Happily-Their Wings Tucked,
Diving Into The Clear Water As My Warming Soul
Embeds Itself Into The Folds Upon Her Surface,
Fish Swim In Schools Among The Weeds While
Gators Quietly Lurk In The Darkened Shadows,
Herons Stare Deep Into The River; Spying A Meal,
I Felt So Alive, So Free Over The Turqouise Water,
Jungle Like Trees Waved To Me As I Floated By,
Kayaking Really Soothes The Soul, I Realized
Lifting My Paddle Out Of The Water Then Back In,
Maliable The Water Beneath Me Swirled Between,
Nothingness, And Nobody, Here And Now,
Old And Ancient, Spiraling Where Secrets Are Kept,
Plunging Into Her A Slight Drizzle Disturbed The
Quiet Calm That Lapped Upon Her Cheeks As The
Rain Grew Heavier, While The Sky Broke In Two,
Silent My Kayak Drifted, Following The Currents,
Tugging Me Through The Almost Blinding Rains,
Under The Rolling Droplets My Skin Grew Cold,
Vibrance Of The Water Below Then Warmed My Core,
While I Drifted Back To Shore I Awaited For The
Xenophobic World To Come Back Into My Life,
Yelling Loud To The Heavens My Soul Spoke Of A Wish,
Zealous The World Should Be, Great Spirit,

**Take Them To The River

Neon Colored Bodies Slink Through The Crowd,
Though They Whisper Their Voice Is Still Loud,
One Of Them--A Poet--Writes Of Their Fate,
How They Are Trapped In This Beautiful State,
But To The Newspaper-Inked People It Is Absurd,
They Look Away And Don't Speak A Single Word,
Their Blood Is Not Black But A Rosy Red,
Their Brains Are Not Chained Inside Their Heads,
The Inked People Push Them Down To Stay Tall,
They Grasp And Pin Them Against Every Wall,
And Slowly--Ever So Slowly Their Colors Fade,
They Start Hating Their Own Beautiful Shade,
So They Start Breaking Down Their Own,
Breaking Themselves Into Rubble And Stone
And As Every Hurtful Word They Say Covers Them,
The Flower Wilts Ontop Of Their Blackened Stem,
And In The End--They Finally Have What They Wanted,
The Ability To Blend

I'm A Lab Rat
                        You Heard Me Right
I Am An Experiment Of The Divine
                        Everything Simulated
Same Smiling Faces And The Scowl Of Enemies
           The Same Endless Loop Of Activities
Work Everyday Of Your Life
To Find Whats At The End Of The Maze Is Paper
Vials Constantly Puncture My Skin
                            Injecting Emotions
The Divines Hands Constantly Working
   No No No You Will NeverFinish This Maze
How Much Depression Does It Take
                 To Crush The Human Spirit
One Of 7 Billion Mice
  Our Lives Composed To Have Ups And Downs
So Close Yet So Far
                Dont Let Her Finish The Maze!
Make Her Loved One Crush Her Soul
                     That'll Slow Her Down
I Am A Test Tube Baby
              Born From Experimental Parents
I'm Tired Of Being Torn In Half
                   Trying To Create A Future
C'mon It's Only About 80 More Years
                 Its The American Dream Baby
It's The Divines Dream
To Understand Us As We Try To Find Our Way
So I Sit Here With Straight Lined Lips
               And Eyes That Can Peirce Flesh
As They Decided To Play
               A Little Devotion Will Never Hurt
Lets Test Some Chemicals
Greenhouse Gases Inhaled Through Tiny Lungs
I Want To Believe There Is Good In The World
              Now Those Beliefs Are Crushed Too
But From The Concrete
               Who Knew A Flower Would Grow
    *I Always Have Hope Of A Better Tomorrow

Leave Me Alone,
I Don't Want To Play,
My Eyes Are Hard As Stone,
Because There So Many Things I Want To Say....

Dear S1
You Can Say It's All My Fault,
Which It Mostly Is,
But I'm Not The Only One To Blame,
Why Do You Look At My Crying Face,
And Look Away,
Looking For The One Who Made My Tears,
Fall Across My Face,
To Take Them Home,
To Drive Away,
But Drop Her Off Again,
To See Me The Next Day,
I Know,
You Love Both More Than Anything In The World,
But Let Me Tell You,
She Is No Perfect Girl,
You Digest Her Lies So Fast,
It's Like You Haven't Eaten For Days,
Just All Of You Leave Me Alone,
And I'll Be On My Way...

Dear S2
You Are Foul,
Wicked,
Twisted,
Stop Popping Into My Brain,
Stop Lingering In My Thoughts,
You've Already Caused Me Enough Pain,
I Hate You,
Because You Hate Me,
I Know Hate Is Indecent,
But I'm Slowly Embracing It,
Because You,
Are The Definition Of Evil....
Stop Prancing In My Dreams,
Stop Tresspassing In My Soul,
I Am Still Really Broken,
I Hope You Know,
But All I'm Asking You,
Is To Leave Me Alone

Dear S3
I Love Your Initals,
That Should Be Your Name,
Because That's All You Ever Say,
Your Real Name Is Poison,
Which Sits Upon My Tounge,
Honestly You Make Me Feel Degraded...
You Make Me Feel Unwanted,
The Way You Can Manipulate People,
Is A Real Gift,
Congradulations,
Well You Still Have The Upper Hand,
I Really Hope Someday,
You Can Just Leave Me Alone

*Am I Really The Only Thing You Have To Talk About? Am I Really Worth All Your Time? Maybe I'm Over Reacting, But I'm Sick Of You And This Is Why... I Might Not Be Perfect, But Niether Are You, So Stop Acting Like It, Your Words Are Making Me Blue, At First I Didn't Really Care, But Now I Do, And This Is What I Want To Say, Leave Me Alone And ***** You