you held me down
under the night sky
and pressed a secret
shaped like a letter
to the curve of my neck

won't you
bruise me
with a forever
that won't last
an eternity

it took me
three years
to let him go

and almost four
for him

and now there's you
and your eyes
and voice
and the butterflies
you brought for me

and i swear
you must have
made them fall in love with you
and then fed them
to me
while i was asleep

because they don't stop
trying to get to you

I think you must have
Pried open my jaw
And slipped your butterflies
Down my throat
Because when ever
I hear your voice
I feel their wings
Fluttering
Inside of me

Trying to get
To you

i stumble through
the grayness
certainty at the absence
of my feeling heart

i stare up at the sky
kneeling over me
to save me
and i turn back
to look in your eyes

it calls me
when you look away
and it calls for me
when you swear that you will stay

i love the sky
and i love you
but i can't decide
which one
i love more

there are two paths
to take

when society
begins to destroy itself

I. stay and make it slightly better

or

II. run away.

won't you stay
a little bit longer
he asks her
his fingers
wrapped around her wrist

she shakes her head
moves away
the night is over
and she can't help
but feel cold

she's a terrible
coward
writing letters
to put in long
brown paper envelopes
to say goodbye

What I am about to say
Will save you
From a great sadness

1. Don't ever caress your broken heart in your hands
The blood will stain your finger tips scarlet
And be imprinted on the next person you hold.

2. Don't succumb
To the comforting grey side
Of Sadness
I know its warm. I know its safe.
But its only all those things
Because darling,
It will never leave.

3. Don't keep things hidden.
Who are you?
How can you even think of not being the main character of your story?

4. Don't read books about girls being left behind, and about boys dying
Or about people who are too afraid
Or too courageous
Or whose main characters are liars
Who come alive when you look into
Their eyes.

5. Don't let your heart pull away from him
Because you feel like
"You love him too much"
He won't understand why
You are holding his heart
And your own.

6. Don't start writing when you are sad.
The ink won't be able to run from your fingers when you are happy
And you will be left without the words you have
Become addicted to-

You will hold your heart in your hands
And you will pick at its stitches to feel
And your heart will bleed
And it will stain your fingertips red.

You will reach out to him,
And your will leave scarlet smears across his cheek
And his chest
And his wrist
And no matter how many times
You kiss
The stain will stay

And you will
Wrap yourself in the soft grey
And the Sadness will swear
To always stay
And you will feel loved
Because it will never leave.

And you will start to hide it-
The warm grey
The phone call
An opinion
The fight you had
The tears and words
That want to come out


And you will turn to books
Not to escape
But to learn
About other
I's and hers and hims
And their words will come out
Black and white
The next time
He whispers
'I love you' in your ear.

And then you will start to pull away
Because
god
You love him too much
And that means he is going to leave
And he will look at you and see
That you have his heart
And your heart
But it will be too late for him to
Have kept yours
And it will be too late for you to keep his.

And suddenly
It will be Saturday night
And he will still be yours
But it will feel like he's
Gone
And you will pull the thread

Of soft grey.

there's a girl
who holds
the universe
in her eyes
(they aren't tired
yet)

she loves the rain
and the sound
of voices
and his eyes
and his eyes
and his eyes
and the feeling
she got
after her second
kiss

she dresses
in white
her cheeks
stained
with innocence
held high
(her tears
fall like rivers
whenever
she cries)

she
drowns in words
faded
pieces
of a thousand forests
a billion minds
and minutes
held
crumbling
and falling
through her lap
and scrawls
empty words
(the ones
she hears)
between gaps
in the pages

she
sows
an entirety
and gives them names
of all the famous writers
(she sometimes
regrets
reading them)
and caresses them
with her lips
and the words
that slip through
(they really
become
more beautiful
in the sunlight)

she
won't say the words
that need not
be said
tainting feelings
and moments
with a means of escape
(and she will hold her palm
over her ears
just to save herself
from hearing them
fall like feathers
from your lips)

she will
fall in love
with strangers
until she knows
them
(and then she will wonder
if her imagination
was actually real)

she will
write
until the moths
tire
fluttering
against a lit screen
and the butterflies
fall apart
across
a bare neck
like stars
falling into the sea

she loves
the sky
and the sea
and can't decide
on separate
entities
(confusion
mounts
and weighs her down
until she flies
away
into the drizzle
on the corners
a gentle breeze)

her eyes
are blurring
her words
heavy
with alcohol

"people are like drums;
the emptiest ones
make the most noise
while the ones
who are silent
are so filled with thoughts
that they have nothing
to say"

Tell me again
How we are all
So empty
Like the sky
When all I do
Is stop myself
From revealing
All of myself
To you

please don't
press me
to your chest again
my cheek
get's a stain
that leaks into my heart
and makes me miss you
a little bit more
every time

the triumphant
sun
sets
and rises
at once

with
the knowledge
of the moon's
two-sided
existance

forgive me
i am afraid of honesty

pale
and white
transparent
like the lace
entwined in my hair
wrapped around
your fingers

'love me'
i say i do
without saying anything
and shadows
fall
on the floral pattern
that you move up from my knees

preceding
your hungry lips

you swear to be
a conisseur
and say that taste
of vanilla
and lilies
are proof alone
of my innocence

how is it possible
Fading Light,
that your words
are honest
to you
and a lie to me

"We are plagued
More by presence
Than absence"
He says
Under the cold moon
His hand
Wrapped around my heart
"And sometimes
The plague
And the cure
Are the same"

It's a lie
Because I lie awake
Counting the cracks
In my ceiling
(The ones
The paint couldn't fill)
And the shadows
They make
Chases my soul
And pins it
Against the wall

You are absent
And I have
A greater fever
Than ever before

fix me
before the breaks in my heart
get wider

you're the name
scrawled
on the tip of my tongue

i remember it
and you
and all the spaces
and fillings
in between
because i try
so hard
to forget

everything
should be free

but i have plants
growing
in an old bird cage

the irony and guilt
doesn't make it okay