have you ever had a dream so good
that when you wake up
it hurts so bad?

I'm no princess
Not even a damsel in distress
I don't need saving.
Save yourself instead.

it can either make you fearful or fearless

choose wisely.

You gotta write what you feel,
when you feel it.
Rawness became so underrated these days.

She will be turning 22...

She is a girl of sad soul and broken poetries
She doesn't want to be found but always leave traces
She craves attention yet let it slip when it comes on her way
She is a collection of dismantled almost, of chaos and troubles, of nonsense paradoxes
She said she can yet she cried every single night
She sought solitude but tripped over loneliness
She looked for love and found it on wrong places
She tried so hard but life always tried harder than she

But she will be turning 22...

She will be a woman of contented soul and lifeful poetries
She will be everywhere leaving traces of love and happiness
She will be independent of other's opinion and mentality
She will be a collection of adventures, beers and wolves
She will believe in herself and no amount of doubt will surface
She will still seek solitude but never mistook it again as loneliness
She will no longer look for love; for now she knows that love will find her eventually
And she will try a little harder everyday than life could ever did

She turned 22.

i'm slowly learning that most people
want only my attention
not my heart

i
guess
it was too hard to handle

We could have been.
We could be the most beautiful collision.
But we are stars from different galaxies.
We don't collide.
We are flowers.
Wild and beautiful.
We are virga rain.
But some flowers are not meant to bloom.
And some rain are not meant to fall.
Our infinities are limited.
And some love are unrequited.

Teach me how to mock a laugh
when you tell me you're in love
but not with me

You can see different souls
in different perspectives
and sync with them

This is it.
The final end.
The finish line.
The destination.
Call it whatever you want.
But this is it.
This is where the ending begins.
This is when I decided to stop.
I don't wanna fool myself again.
This time this is real.
It'll be a slow fade.
No traces of pain.
No amount of rancor.
No turning back.
I will end it here.
Here, where I became happy.
Where I learn how to look forward on mornings.
Where you told me all those pretty lies.
And where I was fooled to believe
It was a great stay here.
magical to be honest
But pretty lies are for kids who believe on fairy tales
on prince and princess
on happily ever after
And I realized I'm all grown-up.
Old enough for bedtime stories and fairy tales.
I know ours wasn't an enchanted one
No fairy godmothers who will grant my wishes
No frogs that will turn into prince
No knight in shining armor who'll save me

We don't exist in reality.

no one warns us
on the amount of pain
we'll endure for the first heartbreak

it'll either be
too much
or
too less

and in between is getting worse everyday

Loving someone incapable of loving you back
is better
than loving someone who can love
but won't ever love you.
Better not love at all.

Read between it.
No answer lies.
Not even a hint could survive.
Madness.
Hit the dead end.
Comfort yourself.
Pain is part of the game.
And you can never win.
Acceptance.
Not even acceptable.
Insanity.
I could wait.
Forever if you want.
Even I hate waiting.
Even if you don't come.
I'll still wait.
For the nth time.
Madness and insanity.
Both at once.
Because when it comes to you,
everything happens at once.
Like being danger and being saved.
Like my favorite almost and my biggest what if.
Like living and dying.
Like loving and hating.
And between those paradoxes,
is a thin line
A thin line that sets the limit.
A stop.
A big NO in my world of yeses.
A boundary in what I thought is a never ending madness.
A wake up call.
And the thin line tries so hard to limit my madness.
But it cannot contain my insanity.
It overflows.
Like diffusion.
So passive that it didn't require any aid to flow.
Like it destined to spill and divulge everything I hid.

your soul was made to stand the fire
burn the rage of sadness
and like phoenix rise from the ashes

When do you know it’s love?
When you’re in love with yourself
as much as you are in love
with someone.

True love will tell you
that you are
worth
loving.

stop bringing me to cloud 9
stop flying me to the moon
stop keeping my hopes high
i'm acrophobic

why do we become so much of what we're afraid to be?

can you make this one loud?

let's learn to listen with understanding
not to prepare for our replies

my heart goes
to those
suffering
in depression and anxiety
sadness takes too much sometimes

which weighs heavier?
the regrets of what did not happen
or
the memories of what had happened

Why do you push people away?

"I want them to be happy."

Because people ruin trust
and papers don't.

Perhaps that's the thing about writing
It demands sadness.

words that water dead plants