today I woke with a bad start and I pushed my way through the quicksand of the morning,
sleeping in isn't an option for my 4 am shift life and a good night's sleep is called showing up late for work
it took a week for 9 am to become 10
and everything felt so slow that I ran a red light without noticing on the way home
I am drowning at 1:30
the afternoon sun taunts me for crawling back into bed but I don't have the energy to fight this today
feel my throat close up and I cry for no reason again
eat lunch from a microwave pouch
'cause I don't have the energy to leave the house for fast food
I will only be awake for  7 more hours today
I am sure that I will waste every second dreading tomorrow
when it all resets just to replay

I searched high for you,
I lost hope.
I buried my heart deep.

What can I do to lift your spirit
to lighten your burden
to spark your smile?

How can I be more present
More compassionate
More loving?

How can I be the miracle that your heart needs right now?

Everywhere I go
Everybody wants to know
"Where's the lady"
They all ask
I answer, hiding behind a mask
Of smiles and laughs,
And say to them:
"She's gone, she won't be back again;
I don't care"
And shrug my shoulders.
But now my life is so much colder
I walk alone, the crowded streets
And tell my tale to friends I meet
Then I turn, walk on with the truth
With tear-filled eyes
I think of you