He said "my love, you're spiralling out of control, I can no longer sit here silently and watch you sabotage yourself"

In that moment, it was almost as if I had lost my voice.
I could not speak because if I had fought back, I'd be lying to myself and the person I had loved most in the entire world.
He was right.

I was losing myself.
I was a stranger....I was no longer the warm person he knew.

As he walked out, I smiled because he saved me.
He was the only one who realised just how much I was hurting.

And for that, I will always love him.

It took me 365 days to fall out of love.
Out of those 365 days, 152 days for me to feel your love:
Hear your laugh
have random conversations at 3am
go on walks by the sunset
Just listen to your voice and feel the warmth of your body holding my cold

152 days of those 365 days were the best days of my life.
The physical definition of happiness and joy.

But it took me 3 days to realise you were gone.
I no longer heard you laugh
I no longer saw the happiness in your smile when you saw me
I no longer felt the warmth of your body
I no longer was up until 3am

Those 3 days were instantly the worst days of my life
I lost happiness and joy and shook hands with sadness and resentment

It took me 24 hours to realise my world had just split in half, to realise my best friend had just walked out on me so easily.
I never imagined you leaving
I didn't want to to think about how it'd feel...
but when I realised it, it hurt.

Those 24 hours made me realise my whole world had exploded within seconds.
Whilst shaking hands with sadness and resentment, I met confusion and loneliness.

I am on day 365 with only memories and an imagination of what we could've been.
I am on day 365 and I am letting go.

Those 152 days are what I'm thankful for...
but so are the 3 days and 24 hours.
That gave me strength.

It took me 365 days to love me and 60 minutes to finally come to terms with the fact you were no longer mine and I would be left with nothing more but memories and wondering what we could'v been.

heartbreak

It's possibly the most ****** up thing anyone could feel.
It's a pain that feels like a heart attack.
It's a wave of emotions.
It's feeling happy one minute and the next
wanting to cry because the little things you're surrounded by
remind you of the person who once loved you.

Heartbreak isn't just pain, its happiness too, its all the happy memories you built with that one person.
It's all the things you got to see and the adventures.
It's the things you shared.
It's learning how silly you were around that one person...
It's learning the real you because that person you could be real around.

Heartbreak is like English weather.
One moment its sunny and bright, the next its grey and cloudy and throwing tiny drops of water on you....and after
is a rainbow. The most beautiful rainbow anyone has ever seen.
The rainbow is you...
The rainbow represents the outcome of the pain that has made you who you are today.
The rainbow is you after all the suffering you have been through.

[Young Male Voice....inebriated, perhaps]
Slit of the tongue Frush guppy !
I sped to you today
So-nah
To treat you to a working meal and...
You’re not there !
You remained a way yonder
Sense-able to my.... me
but too.... mirage n’ fragrant for any talk
this side of miz..mizcomunication
Stay thus sway !
I’ve decided
Is decried
Please...and I’ll love you
as just what I can imagine you to be
...uh..so, yeah...see you tomorrow maybe
Agunda! AGUNGDA !
- voice out man

Here i am,
sitting on my bed, smiling like a dork.
All because of you. :)