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Stacy Mills Mar 2019
me
I
    am
                                  a
puzzle
                                                     piece
                  hammered
         into
                                                    a
              place
                                                           where
                              I
                                             don't
belong
                                                                  I
am
                               stuck
           where
I
                                                   am
               immovable
                                                        Longing
      to
                                                 find
                                   where
    I
                  perfectly
fit
                                           knowing
         am
                                           warped
           and
if
                                                                  I
                              find
      the
                                                   place
             where
I
                                                          once
     belonged
                                                and
try
                      to    
                                                          fit
                                            I
                will
                                              destroy
     it
                        Forever
Stacy Mills Dec 2018
I used to say that I was blessed in life but not love
thought I'd never get to let my heart flutter like a dove
free to fly and go where I please.
not begging and pleading upon my knees
thought those only feelings I could wish to be
I used to think those weren't meant for me
and then along you came  walking into my life
making that one less pain and one less strife
I'm not trying to be anyting for you
I'm not making myself into someone new
I just do as I do and be who I am
and if no one likes it I don't give a ****
Ironically who I am and you are who you are
we seem to be completely at par
i feel that flutter of that dove
I am lucky in life But unlucky in love
words seem unfit now to be said
things seem right in my heart and my head
I am lucky in love and I am lucky in life
I'm completely at ease I feel nothing no rife
I finally feel relaxed I finally feel whole
as finally with happy tunes I can fill this scroll
I haven't named this poem yet I asked the poetry group I admin if they had any ideas. I'd like to see what they come up with
Stacy Mills Nov 2018
A heart can't love without chancing it broken
Truer words have never been spoken
A heart can't mend unless someone else holds it dear
A heart is not happy if it is full of fear
A heart can't break if you let no one in
But not following your heart I believe is the worst of all sin,
Stacy Mills Nov 2018
.......
You're just so very bitter
Life happened to you and made you that way
I'm sorry for your sufferings
They shouldn't have been yours
You refuse to love in order to protect yourself from more hurt
You refuse to let anyone in
It wasn't your fault all that you had to endure
But should you make others suffer to protect yourself
Do you want to be alone
I don't think you do
I don't think you know any other way
I feel sorry for you
I love you more than life
You are my mother you gave me life
yet you don't seem to want to be part of it
You're so lonely
you just don't know how to not push people away
A heart cannot love unless you chance it to be broken
A broken heart can't mend unless you let someone hold it
You don't have to be strong
It is okay to cry
It is okay to be human
It is okay to feel things
It is okay to talk to people about all of this
You are loved
You are important
You are my mother
You are bitter
You don't have to be
But even though you are
You are loved
And you are important
You are strong
You can let down your mask
you can let down your Shield
You gave me life
I want to help you smile in yours
I wish I could be more for you then I am
I do not know how to be
You never let anyone in!
I hope someday you got to read this Mom though I doubt you over will. You've always hated my works!
Stacy Mills Sep 2018
one step forward
two steps back
two steps forward
fall on my ***
stand back up
splat face first in the dirt
jump back up big ole grin
keep knocking me down
I'll still win
Stacy Mills Aug 2018
Things i want to say to you but i hold back.
And the toughts dont give me any slack
One thought one emotion rules till the end
I must forever and always remain your friend
But those demons at the back of my brain
Those are monsters i juat cant train
I ignore them always as best i can
But deep deep down i wish you could be my man
I know your getting married and i wont stand in your way
Just know ill be here for you any and every day
Stacy Mills Jun 2018
How many of you can say that sadly you have written another poem? I can. I can say almost every time, that sadly I have written another poem. Most my poems are dark and sad. Obviously I can't write poems about a happy ending that never happened, and I don't believe ever will; but I do wright everytime I'm sad, every time I'm suicidal, every time I have an overwhelming emotional overload! It gets me through. It keeps me alive. Sometimes I still have to cut just to know that I can feel, but most of the time my poetry helps me. My poetry gets me through. My poetry lets me breathe. My poetry is my release from all that garbage in my brain that doesn't need to be there; because I know better, I just can't help it. It happens. I'm human. So thank you to all of you that read my stuff. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being an ear when I really don't have any here. I know my stuff is depressing, I can't help that. Just know that because I wright and because you listen, I am alive, and thank you, thank you all from the deepest depths of my existence, thank you!
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