My mom told me
That things don't hurt as bad
When you close your eyes.
So when I'm awake
At 3:28am
I close my eyes,
Listen to that song,
The one that sounds
Like your heart beat,
And try to let
the pain dissolve.
Two Thursdays ago,
When I put that phone
To my ear
And it echoed through
My body
That you were better off
Without me,
I felt my soul
Intertwine with emptiness.
And I have to wonder,
Were your eyes closed when you said it,
So it wouldn't hurt as bad?

How could I be so stupid,
So ******* stupid,
That I couldn’t see the
Emptiness
In your eyes.
Was I blinded
By the fullness in mine?
Or did I simply spend
One too many hours
One too many days
One too many months
Hoping you were still the person
That used to
See me,
Before passion could
Be imagined,
Before love
Was optional.