I lose all sense of corporeality,
the saturation that fills the world
with the simple things
lose all color
I start to not be in tune with the hues anymore
and I can only find myself
in the walls of my own encephalon
there’s a familiarity that loiters my brain
I do not have the ability
to tap back into the actuality
of my own physical existence
all the pigmentation is gone
it’s like I’m sitting inside of my body
yearning to go somewhere else
there’s somewhere I have to be
and the disillusionment of reality
grasps onto my heart
and reminds me of the soul
that took the color of the world with him
with every step took back from mine
and instead of my world returning back,
flooded with saturation,
I see through the eyes of a poor soul
though not in wealth,
in a helpless brain stuck way.
I am chained to something unconditional
when will you bring back
all the colors you took with you?

"I use my telescope at night, won't be for stars, instead I hope that I can love you from afar" -mts

People fear you.
Run from you, try to overcome you,
Defeat you.
Others wish for you.
Desperately need you.

But I live for you.
it does not matter we're all gonna die anyways.
But that is the reason why you should live.
To not die a empty life.
Or to live a boring one.
Do not succumb to death.
Do not let fear swallow you whole.
I will live to die.
To be reborn and do it again.
Experience.

The cycle.
I will greet you with open arms, because once you come for me I will know that I have lived.
That I have created the world around me to serve me.
That even my happiness will live after I die along with my love.
2 things that will live forever on.
Each day a step closer to you and another day to live.
Hello death and goodbye yesterday for I do not fear you.

A month ago I told myself
not to mold my love
into words you cannot hear anymore
I haven't wrote a new piece
in 33.2 days.
About anything.
I think of myself as a very poor artist
with little much to lose.
do you know what it's like
to be part of a whole?
To have the other part of you
tear and rip away from you
each and every day.
it is not like you fade into thin air.
it's like something was made for me
but then taken away.
do you know I stopped believing
in what one called love for 730.5 days
before my eyes seen yours
How dare you teach me what it means
to love.
Then leave me with it.
This is the worse thing you have ever done.
You have left me with love
other than for myself
and I have no way of expressing it
because it is for you and you aren't here.
***** you, love.

my roots are long as my branches
i tend to steer away from treehuggers
as i reach out into the night to hug someone back
it does not go as planned 
there's blood on my branches
i do not mean to hurt you.
such a devilish pretty tree.
leaves tainted with poison
roots that tells stories
there's something gone feral at the back of my mind
it screams and yells
i tape it shut and hang it from the tree
for i have vowed you don't belong here, but this is your home too.
my anger has lived here long before i knew it was hidden
what has lived here is the only part of me that has understood
the pain when others have wronged me
and as i try to trim and cut your branches
i try to tame you making sure you don't become wild
i starve and tape you shut when you become to loud
you bite everyone you want to be gentle too.
i don't know how to be a gentle as nature
i don't know how to be a gentle girl without leaving cracks in everything i touch
i cannot talk to you nicely without screaming or insulting
please do not cut me down
i'll be a good tree
my leaves will grow green without envy
my branches will learn to hug back
the wind doesn't even show up anymore
instead if you listen when everything goes quiet
you can here the roots screaming from underneath
do not listen too harshly
you may feel sorry
and your blood will drip from my branches
because who wouldn't want to give
a poison tree a hug

I don't want to die
I just need something to make me feel alive.