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dee Feb 8
I lose all sense of corporeality,
the saturation that fills the world
with the simple things
lose all color
I start to not be in tune with the hues anymore
and I can only find myself
in the walls of my own encephalon
there’s a familiarity that loiters my brain
I do not have the ability
to tap back into the actuality
of my own physical existence
all the pigmentation is gone
it’s like I’m sitting inside of my body
yearning to go somewhere else
there’s somewhere I have to be
and the disillusionment of reality
grasps onto my heart
and reminds me of the soul
that took the color of the world with him
with every step took back from mine
and instead of my world returning back,
flooded with saturation,
I see through the eyes of a poor soul
though not in wealth,
in a helpless brain stuck way.
I am chained to something unconditional
when will you bring back
all the colors you took with you?
spirituality and love does not mix.
dee Feb 4
RIP
"I use my telescope at night, won't be for stars, instead I hope that I can love you from afar" -mts
one of my favorite lines
dee Feb 4
People fear you.
Run from you, try to overcome you,
Defeat you.
Others wish for you.
Desperately need you.

But I live for you.
it does not matter we're all gonna die anyways.
But that is the reason why you should live.
To not die a empty life.
Or to live a boring one.
Do not succumb to death.
Do not let fear swallow you whole.
I will live to die.
To be reborn and do it again.
Experience.

The cycle.
I will greet you with open arms, because once you come for me I will know that I have lived.
That I have created the world around me to serve me.
That even my happiness will live after I die along with my love.
2 things that will live forever on.
Each day a step closer to you and another day to live.
Hello death and goodbye yesterday for I do not fear you.
for all the ones who loved ''suicide"
dee Feb 4
I don't think I'll ever get tired of love.

But is it true love always taste the same?

I've always tried love and its sour hints.

But you introduced me to so many new flavors and recipes.

I find myself reluctant when it comes to you, unable to be vulnerable.

Just because something feels good doesn't mean it is.

So, I tear myself down in my head for tasting something so sweet.

Disappointed for eating something so forbidden.

You have the ball in your court to ruin me, but you never took the shot.

But that doesn't mean you won't so I will never put it past me.

That was a risk I would take; it could go both ways.

Good and bad.

I admire how patient you are with me.

even though I can be stiff, when all you want for me is to soften.

for knowing who I am.

for knowing me.

For times I lose myself.

I'll that risk with you.

The experience.

Because that is truly what I'll never get bored of.

Our love.
Something I wrote when my home was actually a person.
dee Feb 4
A month ago I told myself
not to mold my love
into words you cannot hear anymore
I haven't wrote a new piece
in 33.2 days.
About anything.
I think of myself as a very poor artist
with little much to lose.
do you know what it's like
to be part of a whole?
To have the other part of you
tear and rip away from you
each and every day.
it is not like you fade into thin air.
it's like something was made for me
but then taken away.
do you know I stopped believing
in what one called love for 730.5 days
before my eyes seen yours
How dare you teach me what it means
to love.
Then leave me with it.
This is the worse thing you have ever done.
You have left me with love
other than for myself
and I have no way of expressing it
because it is for you and you aren't here.
***** you, love.
Well
dee Feb 3
I don't want to die
I just need something to make me feel alive.
what I think of with every attempting thought.
dee Feb 3
I pick at my skin
to the sounds of our memories
I pluck the hairs that stand up
when I hear your name
I tear myself down in the love
I have for you
There's a leash around my brain
I'm tired of yanking it away
from the thoughts of your eyes
that wont ever look at mine
there's a cage around my heart
wired with hope
(where is the key?)
and while I'm filled with so much affection
I look at myself as a joke
once a queen, now a blue fool
I apologize to myself for being so cruel
It is not your fault you are tangled
in another soul
but I still blame myself
for always watering a plant
I should have sold.
my words are all over the place, just like my head. I'll make up for this one
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