I, Too, Sing Sadness
I, Too am depressed
I am the neglected one
They tell me i have no problems
When i am too sad to do anything
But i cannot help it
And i abhor my scars
And yet i continue to create them
Tomorrow
I'll be more sad than yesterday
When they ask me why , and i answer truthfully
Nobody’ll dare
Say to me
“ What is wrong “
Then
I, Too , Sing Sadness

I tend to let my heart
Be the best impression of a target
While objects of resentment
Shoot from afar again
I’m asked “what has been eating at you ?”
“depression is a hungry *******”
I don’t want to be the one to end in disaster
And when you leave and I don’t feel the sting
If you piercing my heart open clean
My conscious will scream
You didn’t . Even . Try
So I ask why
Why even stay
Why did you lie
Why even ask
When you weren’t expecting a reply

Life is reality except when it's a dream
And I'm not sure if this is who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to cope with the rope strangling my thoughts
I'm afraid of the stranger I see across
I want to play the activist
And bluntly remove lives untruthful bliss
Even happiness is an object created by people
Who envisioned life with ghastliness
And when I approach a corpse of what my future was supposed to be
I can feel my heart running. Fleeing & receding
Bending but purging black truths that I shoved into my chamber of a heart
Because I wouldn't let myself feel the warmth of artificial joy
I crushed it away because I didn't want the pain to overcome me and destroy
Taking over my mental
Infected with the rare disease called  “I don't want to live anymore”
And the doctor gave me medication supplements of hope
That she probably found at a drugstore
And acquaintances wonder why trust is not in my vocabulary
It has to be a real thing, not imaginary
And it kills me to forget
Treating everyone in ways that I regret
I've started suffocating on my bed sheets
From throwing them over me to often to conceal the questions
However, I'll play a cassette telling of my “whys?”
Why do my insides ache ever when I moved to divert?
Fallen angel, your heart is supposed to hurt

"And how does that make you feel ?"
I swear if you ask me that one more ******* time
I will lose my  head and then i'll lose my mind
Don't pretend you care for a whole 60 minutes
Because I know when you look at me all you see is a dollar sign
The more you ask me , my demons get louder
Must be lucky cause you only have to deal with me for an hour

"And what brings you to these feelings ?"
Nothing , I feel nothing
But in fact there's a lack of emotion in the back
My heart is combusting I feel like it's going to crack
But **** that and *******
I don't even know why im explaining from my point of view

"Is there anything triggering these emotions?"
Im leaving , Im walking out the door
Take your pills back i don't need them anymore
Little capsules i've been known to abhor
I'm done being your test subject to answer for

Hate is a disgusting feeling
Booms of disdainful words sound in echos
Doors slamming shut
Breaking the bridge we kept for each other
Foul tongued beasts
Sniping sentiments laced in cruelty
A mind acting on resentment
A mouth acting on molten anger
However a heart with a lack of empathy
Strains to keep from cutting ties
Bonded so thoroughly
Woven so tight
That only a feeling strong enough could alter them
Let alone sever them
This feeling is hate

The difference between intimacy and lust
Love and tenderness
Lines so fine that they are difficult to proceed over
I don't lie to myself about why i break to tears
When you press your lips to my scars
And say that i am more than my mistakes
I don't pretend that i don't miss the heat of your embrace
When i am alone in a dark abyss of loneliness
The look in your eye when you see my fresh ****** mistakes
Embarked in my skin , gruesomely
And you look at them , like you have healing in your eyes
Thinking that the harder you look
The less pain i feel
I still want to die as i tangle my limbs with you
Still want to cry when you brush your tongue over my teeth
Still want to drift off to hell when you tell me to rest
I loved you
Way before my demons decided to make an appearance on my body
It doesn't matter who i am
Who i was
But who i am with you
Is what matters the most to me
Because when you turn away from me
Forgetting all we went through together
All the endless sticky nights entwined on the sofa
All the brisk winter days snuggled in the car
Your absence will be more noticeable
Than ANY of my wounds