You are the sun
and she is the moon
two opposites
and never meant to be

I am the tides
and you are the waves
together we are one,
and forever will we stay

you are the grass on a summer night,
I am the fireflies lighting the sky
glistening off you is dew
tears of a night that's too long for I

you are the heart
and I am the blood
you are the purpose of me

Happiness is like a dream
something I can recall,
but it isn't tangible and
I can't seem to reach it,
there's a road block in my way
Too tall to climb over,
too far in the ground to crawl under
stretches for miles
and made of thoughts and
self-hating theories

That wall has ruined a lot for me,
it never seems to understand I don't like it
Can't really take a hint
I've beat the **** out of it,
and it hasn't budged
It's pretty exhausting.
Don't call it fight when you know it's a war,
with nothing but your t-shirt on
You can fight a wall
but you're not going to get anywhere

It's an imaginary wall
Really, just an illusion
a hypothetical object stopping me
but it seems so real
and it really hurts
hitting it again
and again
and again and again

I was hoping this year was going to be better for me,
but really,
I'm only worse,
and it's only February.

I'm sorry I did it again
I'm sorry I feel the way I do
I'm sorry I'm hurting you
I'm sorry I'm hurting me
I'm sorry I can't do anything right,
that's probably the most accurate thing I've said
I'm just an idiot with pointless problems
oh wait, I am a pointless problem
I'm sorry that you met me,
I'm sorry we ever talked
I'm sorry I put you through all of this ****
I'm sorry that you deserve more than me and you can't see that
I'm sorry that you disagree with me
I'm sorry I'm stubborn
and I'm sorry I'm sorry.
I know none of this means **** to you,
my sorry's really shouldn't,
not as many as I've had to say.
Not as much I have to apologize for.
In other words, I just need to shove them up my ***,
but it has to be known
There's alot of things I do to be sorry for
and I'm sorry for every single one of them

I like to think I'm nice
but I don't think other people think so
I really do try... sometimes...
but I always manage to not be
Laugh it off,
pretend it's not a big deal,
pretend it doesn't hurt,
pretend you don't feel.
It's a shadow in your mind,
whispering in your ear,
that you'll never be nice enough
good enough
that everyone hates you
when they really don't

I've always told myself that noone cares
just leave myself alone in the corner
and they'll leave you alone
but apparently, that makes you stuck up
conceited
you think you're better than everyone else.
but honestly?
it's the opposite.
You just don't want to talk.
perhaps you're too scared or shy
socially awkward
maybe have social anxiety
maybe you just simply like being alone,
no one will ever know,
and it shouldn't matter
it shouldn't be made fun of

"You can't write."
Yes, I can
I'm writing now
Whether it's good or not,
I don't care.
If you like it,
do it,
chase it,
achieve it,
don't let anyone take your happiness from you.
If it makes you happy,
that's all that matters.
You don't have to be discouraged
you can do whatever you want to.

Getting told you can't do something,
or you're bad at it,
it can be crushing.
there's always going to be someone
that doesn't find you to be
their cup of tea
and that's alright,
you don't have to be.
Besides, not everyone likes tea.
You're not going to be perfect,
that doesn't exist.
It's a dream that we will never reach.
Stop chasing something that is just a myth.
You're you, that's okay

Doing what you want to do
It can take a lot
Getting up and leaving
a friend,
a partner,
a relationship in any and all forms
but to make yourself happy
It's a life that you deserve
Happiness is a choice,
to not have it is absurd
Yes, there's a comfort in being numb
if it's all you've ever known
there's a comfort in tears
when you think you deserve it
I'd know.
But you don't deserve it
No one ever does
Be the old lady with tons of lines on her face
from laughing so hard in all of her days
Be the man with a smile always on his face,
or be the person who's just comfortable
You don't have to be sad,
though it's okay to be,
it's not a lifestyle,
so please don't make it out to be
don't torture yourself
with all of the pain.
Your appearance isn't the defining point in your life
It's not going to stop you from living the way you want