Well stab me enough times and the skin doesn't grow back,
Use all different kinds of knives!
Rub salt in the slits,
A body scratched like an old disk.
Still, It's different when the blood dripping from your wrist to your thumb is warm...

///You wouldn't look at me if you didn't have to,
You wouldn't speak if I didn't make you.
How do you say I'm ******* sorry in sign language? Since you're not gonna listen,
You put your hands over your ears every time I walk by.

You were made to consume,
Gorge like a tick.
You're good at ingesting
Stuff your face,
Make yourself sick.
Promise this is the last meal before the execution and after this
You will be a good little twig,
Little branch,
Little stick.
Hide the plates, burry the silver,
You'd feel a lot more like an animal if you ate with your hands and feet off the floor.
You're a round thing now and your throat goes raw spending hours upside down, trying to get the gunk out.
Yeah, you eat so much its like chewing on paper.
You're taste buds give up,
Lick the spit off your fingers.
This is how you indulge.
You'd eat a sand bag if you had to,
You'd swallow bricks to feel full.

Where I used to be deep and dark she just calls me evil... Well I say I'm the devil.
               "You're actually malicious"
      I'll admit my intentions are suspicious.....

He eyes me like he's hungry for a steak,
Like I'm something on a plate.
His voice is sweet and low but fake.
I questions his intentions,
Wonder why there's salt on the table...
Yeah, warm me up.
Thaw me out and maybe I won't taste so much like cardboard.

////////////////
He told me he knows how to love a person,
I told him what he knows is how to eat a good meal.

I come in, full grin,
Gauging how anxious I am by
how bad my hands are shaking.
Social anxiety; this party turns into an army.
"Wish you were here"
They're kinda joking but it sounds sincere.

I feel like a public service announcement
Their ears perk up,
They can tell that I'm nervous...
So,
I'll take anything if it means I'll start talking and
I'll say anything if it makes me an easy going person.

She looked at me and pulls the scissors out of my hands. She says she never trusted me with anything sharp.
Her eyes drift toward my arms and
I try to roll down my sleeves.

You shouldn't feel butterflies in your stomach when you see him. When you love  a person you should find them calming.
The way I see you with your hair up and no make up and no bra but your shirts still on... I would call that comfort in each other.
The intimate conversations we had made you feel more than any boys hands.
The unsuspecting pictures and my boring little lectures and us bonding over laundry was a sure sign of connection and there was never any tension.
And the truth is I hate to see you worrying about some dumb kid who doesn't care about you as much or more than I do but,

I'm not saying be in love with me,
I'm saying I hold your heart
the way he holds your hand.

I've used my mouth as a shovel before
I've gotten the dirt out of people
I've brought their knees to the floor
I've been an animal
I've been down on all fours

I was the ******* dog at your feet
I was begging for the treat

so I've been stained a bit
Drained a bit
I've been dragged around and around
I've been the quiet one and
I've been too loud

and I've been one to slither away
all my friends call me a snake
but
this is it
this is as bad as it gets
***** to be stuck
***** to ****



///////
it's hard to have a home and stay in it
it's hard to have a hobby and stick to it
and it's hard to find love and then sleep with it ... Me? I'm a monster all the way down. I've done things and I'm not proud.

She wants to know what its like to be the enemy, I tell her their hate has no **** remedy.
I am good at that, good at being disliked And I put people on my bad side all the time.

Yes, you hate yourself so much you want everyone to believe how selfish, ugly and rotten you are and you let them see all the true parts of yourself that are mean and bad, that would have been a secret in anybody else. You prove to the crowd that you are fowl and you speak out loud to yourself of the evil and the desires and the feelings you reasonably shouldn't have. You do not want them to look at you with kindness you prove you are not worth it and you put everybody, everybody on your bad side.

She ***** him in the shower and when she's done she washes love down the drain with ***. Says "See you later" to a man she'll never see again And spends the next few weeks wondering about it... I ask her if it's worth the anxiety but she never responds. Maybe these acts remind one that they are loveable even when they are not loved?