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Courage does not answer every call with a roar
But with sincere heart
That knows pain and disappointment
That says tomorrow we will try again
Don’t worry i am here to help
I will hold your hand
Vanished are the veils of light and shade,

Lifted the vapors of sorrow,

Sailed away the dawn of fleeting joy,

Gone the mirage of the senses.

Love, hate, health, disease, life and death

Departed, these false shadows on the screen
    of duality.

Waves of laughter, scyllas of sarcasm, whirlpools
    of melancholy,

Melting in the vast sea of bliss.

Bestilled is the storm of maya

By the magic wand of intuition deep.

The universe, a forgotten dream, lurks
   subconsciously,

Ready to invade my newly wakened memory divine.

I exist without the cosmic shadow,

But it could not live bereft of me;

As the sea exists without the waves,

But they breathe not without the sea.

Dreams, wakings, states of deep turiya sleep,

Present, past, future, no more for me,

But the ever-present, all-flowing, I, I everywhere.

Consciously enjoyable,

Beyond the imagination of all expectancy,

Is this, my samadhi state.

Planets, stars, stardust, earth,

Volcanic bursts of doomsday cataclysms,

Creation’s moulding furnace,

Glaciers of silent X-rays,

Burning floods of electrons,

Thoughts of all men, past, present, future,

Every blade of grass, myself and all,

Each particle of creation’s dust,

Anger, greed, good, bad, salvation, lust,

I swallowed up – transmuted them

Into one vast ocean of blood of my own one Being!

Smoldering joy, oft-puffed by unceasing meditation,

Which blinded my tearful eyes,

Burst into eternal flames of bliss,

And consumed my tears, my peace, my frame,
  my all.

Thou art I, I am Thou,

Knowing, Knower, Known, as One!

One tranquilled, unbroken thrill of eternal, living, ever-new peace!



Not an unconscious state
Or mental chloroform without wilful return,

Samadhi but extends my realm of consciousness

Beyond the limits of my mortal frame

To the boundaries of eternity,

Where I, the Cosmic Sea,

Watch the little ego floating in Me.

Not a sparrow, nor a grain of sand, falls

    without my sight

All space floats like an iceberg in my mental sea.

I am the Colossal Container of all things made!

By deeper, longer, continuous, thirsty,
  guru – given meditation,

This celestial samadhi is attained.

All the mobile murmurs of atoms are heard;

The dark earth, mountains, seas are molten liquid!

This flowing sea changes into vapors of nebulae!

Aum blows o’er the vapors; they open their veils,

Revealing a sea of shining electrons,

Till, at the last sound of the cosmic drum,

Grosser light vanishes into eternal rays

Of all-pervading Cosmic Joy.

From Joy we come,

For Joy we live,

In the sacred Joy we melt.

I, the ocean of mind, drink all creation’s waves.

The four veils of solid, liquid, vapor, light,

Lift aright.

Myself, in everything,

Enters the Great Myself.

Gone forever,

The fitful, flickering shadows of a mortal memory.

Spotless is my mental sky,

Below, ahead, and high above.

Eternity and I, one united ray.

I, a tiny bubble of laughter,

Have become the Sea of Mirth Itself.
 Jul 2013 Skye Applebome
Kathleen
Today I did it another time.

(Blood stained tissues and rubbing alcohol.)

I'm in too deep, I've been too deep.
I didn't say goodbye, I won't.
I am not strong enough to dig out.
I'm gonna stay here and sink.

(I tell myself all these things and I believe each and every one. )

My hips are red and again I wish it was my wrists.
I say goodbye to you my love, to say hello to the blade.

(I've cracked, I'm done. )

Red flows more than breath does.
Each and every night I let it go.
Can't say goodbye, its a part of me now.

(And nobody understands, so I can't explain the pain.)

I don't know why I haven't left yet, I hate it here.
I wish I was gone more every time I lie, but why haven't I gone?
I could of that day..but I didn't and I regret it.
Maybe today will be that day that I say goodbye one more time.
Don't forget I love you.
Goodbye.

(And today, I haven't been more dead. Tomorrow I'll be the least I've ever been)
 Jul 2013 Skye Applebome
Sir B
I am afraid to love anymore
Because my heart is in absolute damnation.
I just see darkness
When in reality there is sunlight outside

Death, destruction and hatred
all around me
surrounding me
forcing me to surrender

But I shall not
Because I yearn to be
The last ray of hope
For those
Who are still out there
Stumbling in darkness
Desperately trying to find
something to hold onto.

Look around.
There is still tiny bits of sunlight
Follow them,
For victory awaits this quest
what has become of me?

My writings changed a bit because of reading a medieval aged book.
 Jul 2013 Skye Applebome
Sir B
It hurts
more
When stabbing oneself
When having a heartbreak
When depression walks in
When you are hated upon
and it hurts the most
When everything you do
is criticized
and
hated
I am unworthy.
Do not let anybody tell you
That your Love is not real.
Do not let anybody say
That just because you make
Passionate Love everyday
Instead of laugh and play
Video games
That your Love is not valid.
Do not listen to those that
Criticize
Your Love language and
Alibis;
Their Love is not Your Love.
They have no right
To say that you two must never
Fight
In order to truly be in Love.
It does not matter
How many laughs you have had
Or kisses you have shared
In order to signify how much
You two truly care.
Love is not a
Dictionary definition.
And no two Loves
Are similar.
If you two have
Laughed together
Cried together
Smiled together
Held each other
Even fought with one another
And still
Through each of your
Highest points
And lowest points
You both fight to be together
Then that is Love.
If you both see
That together
You are worth it
Together you are Strong
Together you build each other up
Together you are One
And no one is getting hurt
Or taken advantage of
Then that is Love.
The rest
Are just beautiful and intricate
Details.
Do not let anybody
Try to tell you differently.
I wrote this in response to people saying things like, "People in Love never fight," or "Those who Love each other, do not need to succumb to physical pressure to prove that," or "You both have not had ***, so you do not Love each other."

No one has a right to judge somebody else's Love. Each and every Love between two people is different, and it can never be defined. Love should be celebrated and accepted, not teared down and put into a box.

Thank you.
It's so hard
seeing couples
In the summer
At the beach swimming
Sharing lunch
Making breakfast for each other
Driving anywhere
Doing anything
When I can't with you.
I spend days thinking of you
Without you and wanting you
Some days we have our moments
Spending limited hours at a time
Calling and talking to you for an hour
Only to have you preoccupied
Lonely. Conversation scattered
You have the chance to see me for a whole day
But you say next month maybe
You won't
Work is more important than me
You say it's not
Do you see me cry when I hang up
the phone?
"I'm just tired" I say.
It's just hard I think
to stay this superficial against what really tugs at me.
Maybe I'm just selfish
You say you can picture me with someone else spending days with him that I could have someone else. How could you say that? They aren't you,
I shiver.
I just want to be alone with you for a day.
It's hard like stone. When the tears pour. I can't think like this.
Left behind
Disgarded and broken
Quickly forgotten
Yesterdays favourite
Was called cool, funny and honest
Good quailities, i thought
Months of hardwork
Brick by brick
I thought
Building a strong friendship

It hurts, a differant hurt than i am use to
Unknown to me
I really care
Was proud to know you
No longer
Curse the day we met
You used me
Now kicked to the ground
Bruised and hurt
My brain will be the death of me,
I realised late one night,
everything that goes on inside leads to my own fight.

It makes me want to explode,
I wish I didn't over think,
I'm forever getting pushed to my absolute brink.

Some times I want to silence it,
no kind words will make this stop,
I often feel as though my skull is just about to pop.

The problems will still flow,
But life continues to progress,
but one day I will discover how to banish all this stress.
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