Excuse me, Ma’am, but do you accept rent
in the form of formless loose poetry?
no?
I guess that makes me the jack ***
Prometheus stole fire from the Gods for us
we re-gifted it for a pair of Nikes
sorry
but ******* don’t we look like hot **** hot shots?
you look good in those clothes
and I can say whatever you tell me to
in a way that sounds almost original
for just a taste of Eve
her kisses taste like bad apples
and I think I’m in love
I think I’m drowning because I forgot how to swim
Nobody wants to listen
we all just want it to be our turn
our turn to cry and make a ******* scene in the grocery store
no I’m not as high as I look
I am way higher
Cheech and Chong? Honk on my pipe of poison
then we can all get goofy paranoia
don’t escort me out of the Garden
it’s cold out there and I’m scared
beneath this mask of calculated courage
all of our friends exceeded the recommended dosage of cough syrup
so they bob and weave through my toy box
with eyes never fully open
**** it, right?
anybody can buy white powder, mirrors, and razors
but not everybody can’t
that’s funny… isn't it?
waiting on the heels of my next paycheck
because hotpockets aren't cutting it anymore
and jah never paid the bills
the lights in my room are burned out
and it is so ******* dark
just close your eyes
run from the monsters which own the shadows

today I saw a machine that can make human skin as if it was printing paper
and I thought about covering myself with new skin
just to see if it didn't hurt as bad
if I hid my scars a little better
today I was in so much pain I felt sick
and when you left I felt like crying
a boy died today
and I am speaking out loud
with a voice that sounds like broken glass
whenever I am alone I talk as if I don't have enough air
the voice in my head sounds the same
I talk about drowning a lot
but I don't know how else to describe the feeling of not being able to breathe
while I am taking in air
my body is pulsing because I have too many memories
and no one understands
I am so alone here
maybe that machine can make me better
maybe all I need is new skin
I love my body
but it doesn't seem like it loves me sometimes
it is keeping me alive
but I don't want to be
I have to keep reminding myself that I am not a parasite
I am a human
and I deserve to be
but no one ever listens to me anyway
not even myself

my lungs breathe without convincing
so why do I have such a problem getting off the floor
remind me
remind me
remind me to live

Oh,
and she said.
You look like a man that I once wanted to know.
You gave me your heart and I gifted my soul.
But both of us know,
That was a long time ago.

So many things could have been different
You’d be a mother and I’d have children.
What is more than a world we didn’t know
As two smitten love birds a long time ago.

Yes,
we were young.
And less things called for attention as much as love.
But now I’m old.
And you’re all grown.
And we’re no longer two smitten lovebirds,
not anymore.

Before I ever went to school
I thought I knew it all
I could count to ten and back again
And bounce a rubber ball

I could spell my name with no mistakes,
Knew 1 and 1 is 2,
Knew how to say the alphabet
And how to tie my shoe.

Then I went to school and found I didn’t know a lot.
There was so much stuff I had to know I mostly just forgot.
Music, art, and English, physics, bio, French, and math.
Social studies, history, so much stuff it made me laugh.

My younger self had no idea how much more there was to know
The more I aged the more I knew the more I’d learn and grow.
When I finished high school I was smarter than before
I knew I didn’t know it all so I went back to learn some more.
  
This time when I went to school I wasn’t so naïve.
I knew I’d have to hit the books in order to achieve.
If grade school was confusing I figured college would be worse.
If I was going to expand my mind I should expect a lot of work.

There was a lot more subjects and they took a lot more time.
I wondered how there could be room to store so much knowledge into just one mind.
You know that feeling that you get when there’s so much knowledge you feel as though
If they feed you any more of it your head just might explode?
My mind was like a barrel that was filled up past the brim with rocks
And when you tried to add one more, then two would trickle off.
I thought that I would have to quit but there was still so much I didn’t know.
But I chose to stay though doom seemed near because I didn’t want to go.

With failure in my future I bit my lip and I pressed on.
In time I noticed something odd, some of the rocks were gone.
But the rocks had not been falling out as I tossed more in from my hand
They simply had begun to change from rocks right into sand.

All these things I knew
Were now all becoming one
Witch made more room for knowing more
And knowing once more was fun

It wasn’t like when I was small
And thought I knew it all.
But the ease of it was similar
I felt more on the ball.

I recalled before I went to school
And 4 things that I knew:
Spell my name, and 1+1,
ABCs, and tie my shoe.

The one main thing that I know now
That I didn’t know before
This list of things I knew is 2
It isn’t really 4.

Because I know my adding
It is very clear to see
I tie with laces 1 and 2
Not laces 1 and 3.

I spell my name with no mistakes
Because I know my ABCs.
It doesn’t mean that I know less
I just know with much more ease.

At first the more you know and know
The bigger is the mess.
But when it comes together
The load becomes much less

For when your barrel is so full
You think it will explode
The rocks will blend together
And you’ll have more room to grow.

there is this drug in me, swimming inside my bloodstream, kissing insanity away and forming sunflowers on potted vases, in to vast gardens. I can't stop it. sometimes, when I don't consume it, it rips through flesh and wriggles itself in, tickling me until I dissolve in to fits of laughter; and then it would usually pick one of the sunflowers and ask me to take it for a dance and I would, oh I would. I think about it every time I wake up or read a book or breathe; some days when it's quiet I would still sense it's touch but very faintly, very softly; I can't live without it though, not ever; even if it couldn't come in some days and plant it's sunflowers I'd still need it; I wouldn't want those sunflowers withering away without it, and that drug I need swimming in my bloodstream and kissing insanity away and gifting me with sunflowers is, yes, you.

**You.

My dear
I have never told you
I used to be jealous
Of the moonlight
The way it got to kiss you
Goodnight on the cheek
It cut like a knife
The yearning

In your infuriating eternal oblivion
And I in my juvenile infatuation

I would love nothing more than
To watch you smoulder into ash
By the flame I carried
And kept burning for you.

In my heart is war,

My hands, craft

My lips, love

My mind, chaos

My soul is empty.

I am man.

Do you remember
the night when we were
leaned against your
car
and your car radio played
a song about
those god-**** beautiful
stars?
You whispered to me
that you were happy
and I was happy,
too.
Those feelings
eroded like stones into
streams and you took
those god-**** beautiful
stars with
you.