It’s a contradiction
you want to be free from it so badly
yet your body and brain screams for more
crossed live wires shooting sparks of tragedy
“Taken from us too soon”
that’s something selfish ******* say
ever been exhausted and not been able to sleep?
tag you’re it
and we don’t play that home base safety *******
soak through your sheets
so you can’t cry in public
you know -
a laugh isn’t always a laugh,
and it sometimes tastes like dirt
but they demand a clown to brighten their day
so cheers to the good life

Will I still be fun
Will my friends still hang out with me
Will they understand
Will they judge
????

People like to talk about wasted potential
as if they know a single ******* thing
I have potential
you have potential
****** had potential
we all have potential
it doesn’t mean a thing
see what we need is an inroad
or maybe just a clear exit
and sometimes Cupid isn’t such a hot shot

Will I wake up one day riddled with regret
Will I make it to forty
Will I ever be able to dismount
Will the light ever find me
????

I’m losing my mind
and I think I’m fine with that
set me free of these silly things
make me a cherub gracefully ascending
take me to Valhalla
take me to green lawns swaying in the gentle summer breeze
take me by the hand and sit me down
don’t tell me it’s all going to be okay
tell me that we shouldn’t take villains for granted
Villains are the leading cause of heroism
so I’m hitting liquid courage like she cheated on me
only to miss the point entirely
A cobra’s venom is useless if it’s caught in a trance
we dance to death and the nights never end
we flash neon smiles and slaughter the mirrored image
so go ahead and convince yourself you feel good
keep on telling yourself your genius is misunderstood
there are no geniuses
just people smart enough to realize how little they really know
and I know nothing about everything
so pay me the big bucks
so I can shoot them from my mouth out the window
like I always do

Will this ever end
Will I ever find the answers
Will I love myself
Will I find the power
????

It’s all just a question of will,
right?

That’s why they call it falling in love
because at best it’s going to hurt
and at its worst
you end up splattered all over the concrete

more than I want to forget
I want to remember
you are a quiet calm
that I want to detail as you sleep
the tint and shade of your eyelids
as you inhale
exhale
illuminated by a soft glow
I want to remember
your voice was a river
when whispering about love
rushing, returning
in a rhythm
that matched
the slight upturn
of the corners of your lips
as if you just remembered I'm next to you
I want to remember
the small noises of your nature
your body ticks
like  a grandfather clock waiting for the sunrise
you make tiny noises in the bottom of your throat
as you move
you have told me you love me thousands of times
without opening your mouth
I wish to touch you
but I am afraid that if I do I will disturb your surface
as if you were water
ripples running over your skin
more than I want to forget
I want to remember
every piece
of you

pink lip stick, purple eyeliner, orange bracelets,
green hair, writing with black ink on white paper
blowing blue smoke rings into the air, with time the
walls turn yellow
everyone always compliments the pigmentation on my
face, they call them freckles, they're "cute"
everyone always wonders about my color choices, they think it's
funny, that there's too many vibrant color and they don't "match"
they think there is something wrong with my eyes, "maybe she's color
blind"
but that's not it at all, because all i see is colors, i do not see anyone as a person,
but as a color.
they wonder, they do not ask. they sit and stare or smile and nod.
if they did ask, they would realize,
to pigment means to color, and i am forever color in my existence
inside and outside the lines

I could never be your sunrise
I don't know how to stand
Like the sun above the peaks
I don't know how to take
Darkness away from stars
Your mark doesn't have to scar to show
Below the layers:
Lingering molecules that once touched your skin
Love is patient, but mine is thin
Within a walled-city soul
This torture takes it's toll.