most of the time thinking about you is a perpetual sun burn spreading down through my arms and leaking out from my fingertips

whether that is a good or bad thing, i am still yet to figure out

my love for you is endless
i tend to fear the fearless
worry is relentless
and i am
pathetic

i hear your voice whispering somewhere from the depths of me

these people here don’t understand
shoving verses and false faith down my throat
until i choke
until i die

we create our own fears
so why do we fear them?

i hear your voice whispering somewhere from the depths of me
i hear your voice whispering somewhere within the depths of me

so many things are happening
and all we do is stop
and stare
and wait
and hope for more
what arrogant pieces of **** humans are

now i am on a train
full of dead people
some sleeping
some looking out the window, thinking thoughts without points or angles or boundaries
lost souls searching for someone to sail across their hearts
(instead of just dipping their toes in and deciding for themselves that it’s too cold for a swim)

i am here to tell you
that i knew everything
i know everything

i hear your
voice
whispering somewhere

within the depths of

me

i love the moment when i put on my glasses
i can see the world in so much vivid, beautiful clarity beyond what
i can
imagine

i am afraid to move because i might cough up a novel

i hear
i hear
i hear your voice whispering
from somewhere
not yet
discovered

i am afraid to speak because what if i speak too loudly

THE AIR SMELLS SO GOOD AND THE WIND CHILL IS JUST RIGHT AND WOW YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL WHILE GAZING AT THE MOON

i’m sorry i can’t hear you over the sidewalk talking
i have 6 dollars in my wallet and legs made for walking

if you can’t face reality then teeth it

it is twilight
1am birds are chirping
there is a lightning storm across the sky
awaiting the first rainfall
if these morse code messages aren’t enough to live for then i don’t know what is

i am alive
under the sun
it kisses my skin
like your lips on mine
a burn so good
something to remember

and i hear your voice whispering
old familiar tunes
humming to the beat
this poem we have created

somewhere within
the depths
of me

S* ome of
T he reasons
A re not enough for
Y ou  but I want them to be,    *DON'T GO !

Sometimes the  Silence  can
******

i’m afraid. i’m absolutely terrified of losing you. i assume things. these ******* scenarios replay in my head like a broken record every second of every ******* day and sometimes i convince myself that they’re real. they broke me, everyone in my past. they completely shattered me. i try so hard to find the courage to trust people but every time i have it just gets torn down again. why am i so stuck in the past? i visit the past so frequently that sometimes days, even weeks will pass and i won’t realize it because i’m trapped in this nightmare of a mind. this is a new form of self-mutilation, and it’s killing me quicker than when my skin was opened, quicker than when my wrists were slammed against the table corner, and hell, even quicker than when i swallowed a fist full of pills every day to give me the numbing high so i could bear the real world. i am weak. i may have “recovered” from physically injuring myself but i’ve got this new method and it seems to be staying for good. you know, the sick part is, that somewhere deep inside of me, i must like it. it acts as a shield. constantly having your guard up is a lovely way to live until you take a peek into reality and see that you’re slowly killing off the people who truly care about you. i am selfish. i am weak. and i am so, so sorry.

I'd rather be kissed hard than anything else.
Grabbed, pushed, pulled, tugged, bitten at.
Pain doesn't drive me insane, does it?
That sense of realization, that spark of hurt I feel,
I know I'm alive.
When I'm treated rough,
I know I'm alive.
I'm addicted to that feeling,
even if pain inflicted from others is what gets me there.

I would want him to push me against a wall,
hard enough that my skin digs into the harshness of it
as his mouth sloppily finds mine.

He can tear the air from my lungs with
every move he makes,
making it impossible for me
to catch my breath
like I'm trying to breath as
a fire's going on,
the flames licking at my skin
with a red hot tongue.

He can scratch at my skin,
pulling me closer,
as if being near will fill
the empty void,
the endless cloud of self hatred
buried deep in the lust
that we both feel.  

He can bite and **** at
my neck, my mouth, my chest,
desperately trying to taste every bit
of me like a wolf on a hunt

He can toss me and pull me
and treat me like I'm nothing while
whispering "you're everything"
off his fire tongue as I'm just
savouring my addiction of feeling alive.

My addiction of pain.
My addiction of rough.

Sara not so plain and not so tall
Daydreaming in the shopping mall
As blond as a summer day
Speaking of herself in a peculiar way:

"I'm pretty, yes, but I wish to be better;
To be the admiration of a love letter."

But her beauty is the kind that lasts
And makes your heart beat especially fast.
Finland born but London found,
Lovely, sure, but greatness bound.

And the nights grow more tiresome,
as her chest beats a tattered drum.
Her mood too dreary for speckled eyes
that will dim if night blurs into sunrise.

"Sleep why do you run from me,
as my memories grow.
Eyelids, be a blanket,
And melatonin, a pillow."

Victoria Lucas in her head,
as the bell does ring until fed
by the words that sound soft to us
but are actually strong and thus
she is misunderstood-lips are red-
Like Greenwood inspired, kissed dread:
She can save herself before jarred,
Before feathered, before tarred.

And it is my faith that lets me know,
That her happiness will one day grow
Because Sara not so plain and not so tall
Is the strongest of them all

I will do what the stinging tattoo on my ankle says
The one that i stabbed into my skin all by myself
The one that says breathe.

Breathe for the belief that everything will be okay
Breathe because scars heal faster that way
Breathe for the sake of renewal, health, and love
Breathe because thats what i was once taught as a small child

Breathe for the sake of not falling deeper
and deeper
into panic.

Breathe because even though i am scared of falling
of hurting
of not knowing
I will be OKAY

Breathe because it is our ******* right to do so
and breathe because my tattoo says so