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Jan 2015 · 361
Mother, Why
Shawna Lunn Jan 2015
I miss you.
From the day I was born these three words have always echoed in my head.
These words were not heard over the phone in broken sobs by the person I missed. No-
These words have been heard by classmates from grade 1-8 and if I didn't speak them, I texted them.
Needless to say, I got a lot of sad smiley faces but no actual words.
No teachers have ever heard me mutter a sentence with the words
Miss or You
because Miss reminds me of my first teacher  whose last name is swan even though she was as wrinkly as  a shirt you'd find at the bottom of my drawer and you....well reminds me of you.
And I only cry at home under the cover of darkness while music in a foreign language plays beside me.
Even if I don't fully understand the words they speak, they help me understand why I miss you.
I don't know when I started to miss you; maybe it was when you would refuse to pick me up on the weekends.
I bet you didn't know I cried until I had headaches those nights.
I guess this is why I act the way I act today.
I feel no sympathy for anyone anymore because of the people I've missed and the reasons I've cried.
All I know is that,
*I miss you
Aug 2014 · 471
Sour milk
Shawna Lunn Aug 2014
Did I anger you again?
The word again tastes like sour milk. It burns my tongue and renders me speechless
knowing I've repeated this foul action makes me sick
I don't mean it I really don't mean to
I just get clingy because no one has loved me like you have
When you say a word and it comes out of your beautiful mouth it sounds like a melody created by God himself and I don't even believe in God
When you say I love you you don't know how much it makes my heart flutter to the point of bursting
when I touch you I feel so much warmth.
More than you would ever imagine.
When I say your name it tastes like sugar.
But yet I write this for no reason, as I have angered you.
No more beautiful melodies, My heart does not beat let alone flutter, I don't feel warmth only the unforgiving cold, and no longer do I taste sugar on my tongue, *only sour milk
Aug 2014 · 367
Another late night
Shawna Lunn Aug 2014
It's late at night, tears are streaming down my face once again
Where are you?
Why are you not responding?
Did I annoy you?

Please tell me
Loneliness is all my life is without you.
These voices are the only thing keeping me company.
They keep telling me I'm worthless, that you don't care about me
is that true?
Please respond.
This darkness that surrounds me is the only thing keeping me awake with the shadows lurking around waiting for me to fall asleep,
they destroy me from the inside out there's scars on my wrist, scars on my thighs.
Scars on my mind I can't take this any longer.
Do you really care anymore? These voices, they keep getting worse,
I split my own skin do try and expel these monsters in my mind, but it never works, they're still here.
Please....​Please I beg you Just walk through that bathroom door and save me from once again splitting my skin till thick red liquid spills into the clear water and I pass out from loosing so much blood.

— The End —