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Dearest Love,

How are you doing?
I think I still know the sound of your voice.

The missing you isn't constant anymore,
It comes in waves.
Sometimes the moon is full and the waves are big and crash tears all over my face.
Sometimes it's a barely audible lapping sound gently whispering your name.

My life is good and my heart is full.
I wish you could've known this version of me,
But you were the one person standing in the way of it.
I wish I could share all of this with you now but you are not in the place to be loved as deeply and intensely as I love.
Maybe that will always be our tragedy.

Goodbye love.
I am going to keep letting you go.

Think of me often.

*Forever yours
 Feb 2017 Shawn B
Paramount Pawn
Whenever you're feeling down
Don't always come with a frown
Come look like a happy clown

Though of course you can't hide it
At least try a bit

But there are people around
Where your happiness is found
 Feb 2017 Shawn B
wordvango
long hair around my neck
a red complexion
my grandfather would have never
approved of my predilection
for words instead of action
he stands in my memory so tall
white haired then and chiseled
face and faction
a man of Cherokee stance
and action, had markers and hates he stood
fast to, no other way to act he said,
kept Grandma pregnant
her whole life, until she had that attack,
and lay paralysed her last years of breathing,
then he kept up with her nurse,
and climbing pruning trees till he was 93.
He fell fast , one September,
like a limb he had pruned from an oak,
fell hard to the ground under
a hot sun, his whole life devoted
to family and heritage.
He might not approve of me, being so
magnamious in forgiveness.
It has to end some day, though.
 Feb 2017 Shawn B
apollota
You walk through fires,
hot as Hades for the ones you hate
and swim through oceans,
cold as ice for the ones you love.
But when you're stuck at a cliff
and the only way back is a broken bridge
who rebuilds it for you?
2017-02-14
i'd like for you to fight
as i would fight for you
(if i could)
had the plates of my armour
not resumed the shelled perfection
of cowardice

i'd like for you to
fight
throw fury-fuelled punches
at  the barricading fists
of something like fate

i
i'd like for you to
fight
curtail the cold blow
of circumstance
trump those phantom forces
dear destiny
every rigid bone man has erected
to create something tangible, cheap and ephemeral
of love

i'd like for you to wait for me
as i would wait for you
had i the certainty
the certainty of
a  gallery of your faces
Vivid and quick to the frantic reaping
Grasp Of recollection

I’d like for you to mirror my gaze
Resurrect unfiltered feeling of  affection
And woe begone worship
Tormented to swoons of silence
By cerebral guard with their spears of reason
Before it could reach the parting gates of my lips
I'd like to you to resurrect these thoughts
With the elixir of your tongue


Speak the words I dare to think
I’d like for you to fight for me
Wait for me
add premise to the promise
Come claim your rightful throne
In the hierarchy of this heart.
lay your hands
on my body
where you left
an indelible mark
where you sculpted and chiselled
this now inert
block

at night
i cannot wait
to fall into
the phantom arms of you
wispy limbs
given substance only
by memory

then
close my eyes
and have my mind
play reels of colourful dream


i drank in the night
the fermented fruit
of fantasy

i woke to the sight
of blinds guarding me
from the harshest of lights
sober
stale
reality

so i see

our words were vacant
our thoughts brimmed
our words
only
empty clauses
filled with pregnant pauses
driven. motivated. to the point of insomnia. getting rid of every toxic thought and feeling that's rendered me immobile, that has poisoned me paralysed-unable to lift a single finger, to nurture the dreams that were fertile in my mindfield.

i am going to achieve everything i set out to do in small steps, however long it will take me :)
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