I count the scars..
The ones I try to hide
The ones I am so ashamed of
The new ones and the old ones
Thinking how easy it all could end
How easy I could shut off the dreams
The ones I have every night haunting my sleep
The ones that make me scared to close my eyes
In fear that I'll see his face
I know it's already over
I'm counting the days
To be brave enough to do it
To fall off the edge I'm dangling
I'm so alone..
People all around, but I can't scream
In fear that I'll drag them down with the rest,
Of my victims
I'm already so cold inside
I long to feel the warmth
And I know I'm hurting everyone around me
But I'm blinded and I can't see
The light that used to be there
I just sit drowning in my pain
Seeping into me and spreading like venom
I keep messing up, making a new mess
There's a trail that I'm so frantic to clean up
But the past has been written
I cannot rewrite the ink
It soaks into my skin
There reminding me all the time
Screaming at me
What purpose is there for a failure?
For someone so damaged?
So dark, and broken?
I can't see it
And I can't feel it
I think I've lost what matters most...
My faith

Up at 2 AM,
No one else around.
Thunderstorm outside-
Lightning hits the ground.

The pitter patter of the raindrops
Reminds me of the crash of waves on
The sand - chaotic, but with purpose, as
Water always is. The clouds flash their secrets.

Exhaustion overtakes my body, but longing over-
Comes my soul. Looks like that's the only sleep I'll be
Snatching tonight. Watch the clouds flash again, and then
Move across the sky in endless harmony with all things Earth.

Thunder slowly gets softer and softer, slower and slower in coming.
The flashes seem off-center, and the wind pushes the raindrops ever away.
As one of few living creatures awake here at 2 AM, I heave a sigh and go back
To the endless cycles of busy work that consume my body in every way this week.



© 3/21/13

I wanna write new poetry,
but words won't form new verses.
Random phrases cross my mind,
but none bond together to make sense.

Maybe it's the stress of exam week.
Maybe it's my personal problems.
Lack of inspiration or a muse.
I overthink my verses too much.

Why can't I write about fantasy and love,
or maybe about a struggle for inner peace?
Why can't I find a piece of emotion
to let myself go in a sweet melody?

Could it be because she left me?
Could it be the cold weather?
What's the reason I can't rhyme?
Is it that I need more time?

In the end here I sit
typing these words untrue
for I just wrote a poem
when I didn't think I could.

All of a sudden,
It hit me
And i love you.
Over every man.
Every sundae.
every DRESS.
All for you, I've made such a mess
Of my life
And of my rules.
You are a beloved to me.
Above all jewels is your legacy to set people free.
Freedom.

Let us all lovingly appreciate today
The masterpieces we all have made
And shared, no matter how painful
Or deep they may have been.

I thank you for your inspiration,
The expression each of you have had,
The raw emotions carefully exposed
As the unfolding of petals from a blooming rose

Perhaps we all can learn from each other
From the experiences brought to life
By words in rivers of binding thoughts
And pathways of black-and-white marks

Perhaps there will be a day when poetry is abated
And the world no longer appreciates this day
But that day is not now, today is a day of celebration,
And may we find solace in the poets of all time.


© 3/21/13