S D S: Favorites

Jul 2013 S D S

Thrashing

Jul 2013 S D S

AJ

I've been stuck reading a deranged book
Where twelve year olds are *****,
And a small child is more philisophical than my professor.
It makes me want to become "Manda and the Giant Peach".
But instead I grab a steak knife and a peach from the fridge.
I listen to the rain on the tin roof.
It is a deafining constant.
It's the soundtrack to infinity.
Every other time you blink
You're naked in a bathtub in a mental institution,
With some lady named Mrs. White
Looking down at you as you throw a fit.
I throw good fits.
I hate to blink back to my peach and my knife and my book.
I might as well just throw another fit
And throw the peach away.
Oh Mrs. White?

Jul 2013 S D S

Unbalanced

Jul 2013 S D S

CRH

Unbalanced

A great thinker, but a criminal,
all wide-eyed and paranoid.
Your words insincere,
your arguments incomplete
and still you stole the very Earth
right out from under my feet.

So who's really the crazy one?

Jul 2013 S D S

Not Better

Jul 2013 S D S

Devon

Not Better

I went to my doctor yesterday
I filled out the forms
Did the questionnaire
And smiled
Because I felt better!
Not good,
But so much better than my first visit
My mum was upset
Because I still feel suicidal
But I told her it's less than before
And I smiled
Because I felt better
Then the doctor came in
Asked how I felt
And I told her I felt better
She frowned at me
And said thats not true
The forms say i'm still a mess
She told me my meds need to stay how they are
For at least another six months
Maybe stronger than now
But we would check later
And she reminded me
I'm not better

Jul 2013 S D S

Bad Fruit

Jul 2013 S D S

Lili

Bad Fruit

In a matter of seconds

I was crying

Without warning

I was curled up in a ball

Screaming

My demons

Gnawing at my insides

Spitting out rotten flesh

Like I was the bad fruit

Thrown aside

To decompose

To waste away

Jun 2013 S D S

Now I See

Jun 2013 S D S

Katy Owens

Now I See

Looking up I see
the cross

Bloodstained wood
Nine-inch nails

Reminder of
the greatest sacrifice

Closing my tired eyes
I see

A Savior staring
back at me

Through tears of pain
sweating bullets of blood

His loving eyes say,
"you are more than enough"

I open my eyes
See clearly

All weariness now
wiped away

His grace is enough
for all of me

Looking up I see
the cross

My mind transformed
My life renewed

Heart breaking
for what breaks His

Freedom for captive
Hope for orphan

My desires are His
for love, justice, mercy, and peace

Looking up I see
the cross

And I see myself
through my opened eyes

Lost and broken
Weak and weary

Adopted and loved
Restored and healed

Precious in the eyes
of my loving Jesus

I see the cross
And now I can truly see

Jun 2013 S D S

Rotting

Jun 2013 S D S

JM

Rotting

This restless and irritating
little tick in my skin
won't leave me alone.
I scratch and I pick
and I peel away
my flesh, digging
away the rotten.
My words are matted
cat hair and
malignant growths, needing
to be cut off and out.
I reek of apathy
and whiskey
and lies
and lost sleep
and I feel
as if I am
caught in a swirling
whirlpool of
the kind of loneliness
that consumes men whole.

This has to end.

Jun 2013 S D S

L'esprit de l'escalier

Jun 2013 S D S

kk

L'esprit de l'escalier

When I say that I didn't get much sleep last night,
I mean that I spent seven hours in my bed
Thinking about the way that the morning light
might play off of your skin
And the way that you would shift and snuffle
into the mattress at my first nudge
And my light breath would be against the nape
of your neck,
Breathing in your contentedness
and how happy the sun is
To be warming your shoulders up as you wake.

So no, I didn't get much sleep last night.

  *"I think I'm falling asleep
   but then all that it means is
   I'll always be dreaming of
   you."

'L'esprit d'escalier (literally, the spirit of the stairway, idiomatically staircase wit) is a French term used in English that describes the predicament of thinking of the perfect retort too late.'