stitches.
a stab taken for healing purposes
proof my being is but dangling on a string.
mental scarring turns out to be more permanent than the ones I gave my wrist.

self-hate, self-doubt, self-destruction
I'm a snake that bites its own tail
donating a venom transfusion into my bloodstream.

staples.
shards of metal punched through my life
in a sad attempt of composure.
running from myself as my life runs away from me
emotional damage runs deeper than any blade could.

self-medicated by the pain
and mistaking poison for a sweet elixir
my world turns upside down in a matter of minutes.

sutures.
a single strand of fiber
responsible for keeping everything sewn together.

I'm a pretty little cross-stitch
patterned to perfection but laced with nightmares and a handful of bad memories.

it started as a faint whisper
a subtle scratching at the door
a clawing at your insides

the sound echoed through your hollow bones
the vibration hurdled through your veins
and your emaciated soul absorbed the disturbance

red hues overtook your pale skin
the blood percolated through your pores
a loss caused by the monster within

convulsing in a pool of your own plasma
your breath comes in jagged gasps
and your body consumes itself

the creature resides behind the door
self-destruction is the lock

remember me never
and forget me always

please
just please

let my memories fade away
faint as the distance stars and planets
let us say our goodbyes to Jupiter

the daybreak comes in fast
quickly to separate the satellites
partitioning off the stars from the horizon

please
just please fade away

clouds roll in,  obstructing my view
and the haze of the sun veils my eyes
it sets a fog over our melancholy scenery

please
just please let me fade away
and here I take my leave

shooting stars
their existence is a beautiful lie
they're the heaven's silent secret
hidden away between meteors
kept from the universe

skimming across the surface
your hands reach out
yet they return empty
your heart is like your hands
confused and at a loss
try again

your breath changes as the wind
swept away to a place I cannot see
drained as the pipes
my eyes betray me

the self is at stake
I can no longer hold my own
you, locked away in a castle tower
eternally trapped, yet eternally free
relations are strained by force
my sincerest apologies to you
and again, my eyes betray me

as you are taken from me
I shall also part from you
this is my greatest guilt
forever I am sorry
and forever my eyes betray me

by way of strangers we met

i recall those lustrous nights
the sky held no stars
we were young
maybe too young...
i don't remember which

us, a misfit bunch of misfits
a gang of conglomeration
unleashed on a distant city
to each of us our own
yet to each of us the same

caught up in scintillation
i was lost in the sounds
the sights, the smells
smoke veiled my exhausted eyes
and vapor, my lungs

these lights are unfamiliar
the neon language i cannot translate
we've only got 'one shot'
i think we turn left, maybe right
turns out, i think i was wrong

strangers swiftly became friends
and friends swiftly left
i, too, followed their exit
i struggle to remember everything
i can't even recall all the names

by way of strangers we left

the calico quilt
ragged and torn
memories laced in the patterns
the stirring of leaves
and the scent of autumn
falling foliage and falling hearts
to differentiate the same
would be futile
for leaves and love
both fell in fall
and together became kindling
ablaze in the hearth
burnt to be the same ashes
to differentiate the same
would be futile
the calico quilt
left by the fire
flames leap onto the fabric
of that calico quilt
together in ashes
under the warmth
of a fiery blanket
the quilt, the calico
tarnished, blackened
all as ashes
to differentiate the same
would be futile