On rainy days
I clear my face
And enter in
The cold embrace
Of a false name,
And faux life too,
That sit atop
in Ocean's view.

It's not luck, lover
only privilege.

You called me "loose"
and in a way you were right.
I can feel my screws falling out
one by one.
The thread of my seams
getting tangled as they spread apart—
like legs on graduation night.

(I see you in
      the    pupils      of my lover—
all you ever wore was black)

I wonder if    you hurt
to see     me

with             any other   but   you.

sappy lately, maybe happy lately,
maybe lately just greatly lonely?

i want—
i want to talk to the wrong crowd

I will alphabetize the authors of my insecurities and burn my Alexandria.

clothes got soaked in rain.
dont know why i expected
them to smell like salt.

I can never heal if all you want me to be is a bleeding heart.

dramatic sighs and erratic thighs
I picked up the phone and heard only static
you were heavens fanatic and you tried to reach it getting high

waiting for the rapture you become ecstatic
*"if
I'm an addict,
you're an addict."

-
I wonder if wise men ever existed in the first place
because they certainly didn't in
the last place,
last night
.

I wished you the world, but the world was already held in your eyes.

If you love something,

let it go.


If you are hurt by something,

let is go as well.




Does this mean that everything I love is supposed to hurt me?

I still smell like you
And your Irish springs body wash
At 5:03
On a Sunday morning

It's only when you have the best that you realize you don't want the best, you never really did—you want to struggle to pay the rent, you want to fall asleep angry, because screaming is mean and mean gives you meaning.

I flew through one.

Clouds hang in suspension in the sky.
Special effects may or may not be used.

if i could
i'd spend the world
with you.
i would
if you wanted
to—
but they say
that's a pretty **** big
part of my plan—
your yes or
your no—
and i haven't yet
figured it all
out yet
if you
say
no

Oh Demon,
Please,

Loosen the hands on my throat.


Oh Lover,
Please,

I sometimes like to breathe,
I do.
I do.

Oh, look at us
who have burned entire cities
just to hold the sun in our hands.

high and dry
sober, sober, sobreity
all i ever wanted was to feel

slowly dying
but finally alive

catching buses to try to catch you
seven second view through a window
know that i was always blind, but

365 days you've been on my mind
365 days you've been on my mind

The cancer girl who wrote about the boy who wanted to throw his life away.

You don't sleep well, but I rest forever—
however , I'd trade sleep to never lose sight—
Oh, just to see your face
for every second of the night.

me from a year ago looks at me from a minute ago
with her stupid
*******
hormones
and her stupid
*******
youth.

benjamin button is real but only in the form of knowledge

My body once was black
with ash and sadness

And I plead
I beg
and now I confine you
To a tattoo.

Shedding slowly off my sin.

you ran around screaming
*"if life were a race
you came first to me—
but you gave me 9th place"

life is cycles and so is death
addiction is the quickest form of slow suicide.
you never quit—
you only take breaks
and i will always come back home

How do I let you back into my life

When you slammed
the door
in my face
and only opened it
when you got lonely.
Saw me dead on
the doorstep.


How do I let you back into my life

When the title
of this poem
is the title of the song
that I spent years
wasting time
on loving you
like you never
spent
on me.

And I let you in
And I let you in, again.

Rough love, soft love.
Choke me a bit, are you okay with that?
I guess it's what I'm used to.

Warm skin, heavy blankets.
I pray we don't end up like our parents.

First comes love, then


              she does

We are
Done and gone.

Two that are
One apart.
Two that do
Not rhyme.

I am done.
You are gone.

Pop-pop, rattle-bang
Red being the color of the carpet
In hasty prayers, upwards is forgotten
North, East, Smith & Wesson

Proximity does not lead to permissivity
Another day goes by right next to you
Another day we forget to speak

but given the change in time
and the frequency of which
you came back into my life
so often
doesn't change the fact that
it ******* hertz

Temptation follows us all
As we spin on this axis
Waiting for tilt
To turn us downward.
How does the world continue to spin
Under all this weight?

i didn't want to watch the opportunities turn onto the highway
i wanted to experience the world running down the I90


you were in the way of all my couldhavebeens,
but looking back i think you're the only thing that shouldhavebeen

maybe the grass is just greener on the other side of the city
maybe i'm just lonely.

was that really me?

i almost regret not introducing you to my friends
memories fall so separate
i squint to see overlap

so many minutes of my life in your apartment
i must not have lived them
if i cannot again relive them

was it really me on spotted counter top
was it really me against white brick
touch my palm to induction stove
hoping to burn but only touching magnetism

i almost regret letting it into my head

Tropic trips are quaint but..
I would rather be in your skin.

push me down the stairs and pin me to the wall
we ****** on someone else's floor and i woke up with no regrets and a ****** nose
the only thing that clouded my judgement was my old life.
i live in constant fear that i will find myself

They take a dip into desire
They take a dip into something
They never even knew existed.

this sickness isn't just a word better expressed in latin, this
coldness isn't something you can wash off of your hands

you have come and gone again,
and i am left half-awake.
it was a sunny day,
if you looked above the neon numbers.
once again, i am caught:
sleeping through
my last alarm.

Your screams are mean, and it seems I am looking for meaning, because
Mean is meaning.
Mean is meaning.

It doesn't matter
what you tell me
and what I tell you.

You could be mine
and I could be yours
but twenty three days of silence
could write a lot more love letters
than us.