A wound I mistook for healed
Opened itself last night
I slipped and spiraled
In my skin
And I remembered what it was like
To be fourteen again
And miserable with every glance
In the mirror
—
Oh teenage girl,
I wish I could love you
Into healing
I long to soothe you
Into breathing
For now,
I keep you shut
In the back of a dusty drawer
One day,
I‘ll learn to love you

You seem nervous,
Like a guilty criminal -
You fidget
And avoid.
You try to break me with your words.
Your tactics don’t work on me.
You‘re not scary,
Nor do I feel smaller than you.
And if I were you,
I‘d be scared of my potential, too.

I wish nothing more
Than to be understood,
To be seen for what I am -
My truest form.
Why do you reject me?

I am not in need of anyone‘s approval.
Yet, it seems silly and meaningless
To live life without someone loving
All parts of me.
I long for commitment,
An interest to my soul
And all that comes with it.
Or is the longing itself that‘s foolish?