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So many options for how I could choose to live,
countless opportunities to take and give.
Overwhelmed -
by the paths open to me.
Some closed now,
some half asleep.

Can‘t I try different versions on
in the changing room?
Just a minute!
Close the curtain.
Give me some time
to soak it all in.

Why can’t I be all things?
i want to try all career paths. i want kids, and i don’t want them. i want to travel, and build in one spot. i want it all. i long for all versions of myself.
When masking becomes unbearable,
and my lowest points are revealed;
when clothes slide down my body,
and my unhealed parts begin to show;
when the new light of dawn
shines through cracks on porcelain -
which of you will understand?
Show of hands -
is there anyone who will love

all I am.
Even as dying, I have no time
For bitterness.

Life was too short,
Even before.

Each step holds gratitude for the sound
Of snow beneath it.

For
Now

I carry my passenger
Unburdened.

Say no to nothing. Not
Even the cancer.

Even tomorrow's mother's tears,
Father's clenched fists upon casket;

Flowers; loss. Inevitability.
Death grows inside me.

The opposite of a
Pregnancy.
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature’s changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st,
    So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
    So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
In honor of getting older,
wiser, sillier and bolder -
I have decided to take the shackles off.
They keep me safe, but curse me soft.
As my life has flashed before my eyes,
Suddenly, I have come to realize -
   I haven’t lived enough
      I haven’t loved enough
         I haven’t danced,
            nor laughed hard enough.
fear has consumed me since birth.
it cannot consume my thirties.
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