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Mateuš Conrad Oct 2018
.you don't get it... it's... too... late... whatever argument you have concerning the bill of rights for the internet, or whatever... "public utility" involves... internet banking and internet commerce has your argument by the *****... and it's stretching it... about to play a mad-south violin tune on excess skin; ****, love the arguments... but e-commerce and e-banking if like... whatever the purpose of the internet was... it... was... ha ha! about saving the amount of paper used in offices around white-collar workers... eventually... because, what else?!

at this points, i'm thinking -
why divide and conquer?

just put some salt on the wounds
and watch the fiasco...

why? well... hmm...
i don't like the sterile environment
of the internet...

once upon a time,
like it's some Disney cartoon prologue
from the 1930s...

i can't watch Joe Rogan on
youtube anymore...

         whatever alternative video
recommendations i get when
watching a video...
        it's a ******* brick wall...
it's the same **** i watched before...

the algorithm isn't being inquisitive
of me...
        i like the idea of an A.I.
being inquisitive of me,
when with each video,
there was something, potentially new,
humming its presence
in the background...

       i liked that... the A.I. would
just... propose some, other, more
far-fetched alternative...
      and this environment was
existent, alive, and well,
say...

            one and a half years ago?
give or take the "concept"
of circa....

     but now? i turn on the internet,
and it's like... the ******* BBC...
do i ******* look like a *******
pensioner?! or am i some add-on to
the song forever young...
clown prince clapping with one hand
or doing the jazz hands:
all grin and no subtlety of humor?

the internet existed from...
say... ****... when did i frequent Microsoft
chat rooms...
say...
                     i was in year 9, 10, or 11...
i left high-school in the year 2004...
years 12 and 13...
        let's just say...
the year that limp bizkit's
album choc. starfish and the hot dog
flavored water
album was released...
with the song hold on...
an atmospheric riff...
subtle, gentle...
like black sabbath's solitude "riff"...
a gentle play on never engaging
in *******-like
solos for the guitars...

so?
    the internet in its original casing lasted
for... a gross value of...
    16 years? maybe 17 years...
no more...
  the internet is dead...

it used to be fun...
       oh **** me, 2 years ago?
it was the cherry on top of relating to blank
spaces... but now?
the ****'s sterile...
infertile, and to boot: impotent...

point in question:
i'll have t rethink finding watching brick walls
entertaining once more...
imagining... ****...
you sure one of them didn't make
a corner-stone Jesus quote,
slyly moved...
   and then painted a Piet Mondrian?
you sure?!

yeah, thanks a lot...
for making internet t.v.,
*******... wankers... gob shy-ters! *******!
cubicles of norms no one is
ever going to fulfill... like some ****
eugenics poster children of
what a perfect family looks like...
wankers!

the internet is dead,
and what used to be a great jukebox that's
youtube... oh... forget it...
that's dead too...

i liked the days when the A.I. was
A.I., and restricted from
a ******* Terminator-futurism-phobia...
and look what the wankers
brought with them... cages...
restrictions... they didn't even consort
with the actual hardware providers...
the ones who actually provide
internet access...
the one time the middle men were
of relevance...

no...    these people ****** the A.I....
with what i already stated:
   Terminator-futurism-phobia...
what a waste of potential...
the internet: as the internet lasted for
roughly 16 years...
and then died the death of being glued
to a t.v. set...
          so... why bother carrying your
smartphone everywhere?
it's like carrying a t.v. everywhere!
it's like... the 1980s, reinvented...
boomboxes in miniature form...
    see what this has become?
   it's beyond a circus or a freak-show...
it's an atomic bomb: imploding...

i'll still write ******* into this blank space...
but... the bet is settled on:
i'll drink more, heavily...
and turn out the advocate of
being... a disciple of the Cynic school;
the end.
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2017
it became clear as day... i knew this was coming,
the day when i brushed aside all the science,
the dogma, and said nothing of a big bang
fancy, but to keep me inside it rather than,
outside of it: whatever it was that imploded...
if the **** thing didn't implode why all this
gesture two describe it as an explosion, and give way
to phenomena? they're not imploding into
singled out individuals...
   ah, **** this boring scientific crap,
the rubber-band of me learning chemistry at university
had to snap at some point... it had to...
i also decided that the term big bang is really
ugly... given humanity and the care for aesthetic,
whether inner or outer, the big bang has no
impetus to succumb to it if your mind is
even remotely interested in science,
     i'd call it the imploded onomatopoeia...
i can't write a cat's meow or a dog's bark or a crows
croak to perfection, words have
no ~ markings attached to them,
which shows you how shallow existentialism
is with its lack of symbols, only the ditto,
and that's never really explained, for what i've
read it's a stylistic inclusion akin to italics...
no existentialist expresses whether a dittoed word
is ambiguity, or whether it's a loan word,
like a Pole might loan the word weekened
and speak the foreign word in his native tongue:
as if we invented it...
  Poles do that, a lot... i mean: it's easier to loan
foreign words than create your own...
   i call this an T. Edison stagnation...
the moment you start loaning words,
is the moment you're left with about two famous
Poles in the history of mankind,
and even that's disputed, since the Germans
want Copernicus, and the French want Chopin...
you basically become unimaginative, not firm,
loose, bubbly, lard...
    that sort of language encoding can belong
among merchants, but look how the former
mechant of Mecca has become strict,
where's the lingua franco?
             i know it's english, dummy,
  but i mean: why use so many loan words in your
own ethnic tongue, so blatantly,
    try to tell an englishman to use
    the german word zeitgeist with as much
of a populist zeal as a Pole who incorporated
the english word weekend, it's not going to happen...
thankfully the english know they're of germanic
descent for the most part,
    and partly norse, and celt... and roman...
****! what a brothel, you get all kinds here,
anglo-slavs and afro-saxons to boot these days...
magic... the ******* 60s were true, after all.
  but it's the puritanism in me regarding language,
well, given that Poles have become almost
akin to Jews in Europe, given the history...
oh look, the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth,
ah crap, look, it's gone, no, wait, it's up and running
once again... no wait... they joined the E.U.
when papa essex and mama normandy said:
we're out! dumb chocolatiers, it was bound to
be too sweet, too true... too pointless to continue...
faking what the Mayflower people did "across the pond".
and it's almost fun learning how
the central european commonwealth was based
on the fact that: only a foreign ruler can claim
a crown over the geography that once spanned
from the baltic to the black sea...
yeah, and i am ethnically bound to talk about it
without having to: i don't even know the polish
anthem, the english one? it's the easiest
in the world, done in under a minute...
     god save our gracious king,
something something... something something...
  when i became naturalised as a "citizen" i think
i sang it... no, wait... i didn't...
    just like i didn't accept the catholic bureucracy...
i should have a tetranoun / "grammaton" /
tetrakilogram name in the paperwork,
what, catholic and not baptised, and not chosing
another name for yourself at the ceremony
involving the purple bishop?
   well, that's the first joke i spotted with what i later
realised as the Hebrew divinity, and how
i wouldn't desecrate the principle...
       but it's not even about that!
     it could well be about the 2015 film
fathers and daughters, and how they say
novels take years to write, edit, i say: vulgarity
is necessary, as are conjunctions,
     and as is phlegm...
                               but it's not even about that,
the sunday times magazines...
the style magazine on purpose, the dating columns
are going off-print! i can't believe it!
         what am i going to be reading from that magazine
on a sunday?
   i did once say (keeping up with the goldfish,
scatter brain, short-memory span, therefore telegram
poetry, many punctuation marks,
disorientating, punctual, but disorientating,
a *******-base on purpose,
i don't think many people will like it; good):
it would be nice to see a journalistic sabbath,
yes, a media sabbath, after all Monday newspapers
are so thin! anorexic news... that's Monday,
people have been lazing too much on sunday,
actually reading every single page that a monday
newspaper, just makes no sense!

and yes, the very point of enforced interludes
is that you might find yourself in the scottish
highlands looking at a waterfall, for example
the above is an uninterrupted waterfall,
and then gaze into the void of a sea not too far away...
and looking at that sea, you can see the most
perfect interruption...
    the romance died when science explained
the mystery of hearing the sea in a seashell deep inland...
there should be taboo subjects, taboo topics that
are better explained by love,
not this omnipotent dissection method,
just saying...
   how philosophers will call it abstract
and a poet will call it metaphor...
   given that both are not equipped to the application
of any sort of reality, or dare i say a schism from
it, akin to calling the two approaches
a realism, or some quasi or pseudo sort.
i can call democracy for all its wants to be the most
perfect consolidation of man under the rule
of man, but then a tornado comes or a tsunami
and all of man's efforts to rule himself crumble
into disaster... and how rare to see it when
discussed in philosophical theory,
    democracy as an abstract, is also a metaphor,
ob-, prefix denoting away from:
and then the suffix -tract... well, i was thinking of
a road... the less trodden track...
        apparently it means an area...
                democracy as nothing but a cancerous growth,
it spreads to almost every cavity where people
are content with an alternative political establishment,
for they like the basis for the ***** that
made it to the egg and beat all the other ***** that
would otherwise make it into a tissue or into a ******...
thankfully metaphor, i.e.: something not literally
applicable has the potent of not being abstract,
abstract, i.e.: working from the heights of ideal
to the depths of an idea, that has to compete with
the many narratives that later allow the idea to resurface
as a lightbulb...
                    these two cruxes are very much akin,
philosophy says abstract! poetry says: metaphor.
keeping in mind, i took to poetry like a mozart to a piano,
i never actually intended to say these things,
i merely envisioned conducting a philharmonic orchestra
for deaf people...  oh sure, this wasn't supposed
to be a one-man show, a monologue,
i never intended to say these things...
i wrote these poems in mind of conducting an orchestra,
which is a useful method of creating an implosion,
which goes back to, that dread, the bing bang...
    ever hear a ******* bang in vacuum?
     i wrote these "poems" so that someone who sounds
like a violin might play the violin parts,
someone that sounds like a clarinet might play
the clarinet parts... and if sound has a colour,
it would be a ****** colour when encoded for the eyes to see,
akin to something being monochromatic,
therefore this mono-nausea...
  i write the same encoded sounds for someone
playing either violin, piano, clarinet or harp...
  let's also add in sax...
           but that couldn't make it onto the orchestral palette...
what a bollocking, either 4 beers and
the expected weak bladder or constipation...
it was never to be a soloist performance,
which is why it imploded,
      why or precisely how i was not writing this
for myself, for myself to speak these words...
  tad too empathetic concerning what's universally
human, i.e. a condition of some sort?
which is how i react when one of my favourite
columns from the journalistic columns gets the schtick...
and is out-grown...
               out-dated, who would have thought that
a dating column could allow two lonely hearts so much
space to later pull them apart...
     neither cosmo nor dolly have made it
     to a love brick, that sits firm at the base of the pyramid...
which is sad how the dating scene will go on,
and they will go on, dating...
monday shuffle, tuesday shuffle, wednesday shuffle
(catch the pop ref. point to a song, we all boogie
down with the groovy kids once in a while,
basically a music video that was actually a advert
for some sort of liquid, root beer? ginger beer?
i know, i know: i scratch your back, you scratch mine).

i might call this: what happens with interludes,
or quiet simply: interludes.

i was never into writing something akin to an Ikea
manual of putting up a cupboard,
Ikea has probably the best library for self-help,
a, b, c, d, e... a few screws, a few wooden bits,
and something resembling corkscrew...
the only self-help there is, i.e. put a cupboard together,
by yourself. is there any other self-help manual
that can beat the Ikea manuals? i don't think so.

and how happy can a man be, having lost
the ability to drink perfumes (i.e. whiskey) and turn to
miss стандарт, with such jovial missing or
never had expectations?
   i guess, quiet easily, it's there, a bottle,
with a little story on the label,
   once upon a time (in 1894 to be exact),
  dmitry mendeleev received a decree (do it
or i **** you, harasho?) from the tsar...
to create the imperial standard (i.e. triple filter,
akin to the imperial standard of measuring
in inches rather than in millimetres,
the French, who apparently took forever to create
the concept of 0 from O... eat a doughnut,
much easier)...
   and i never thought i'd say that ***** is more
appealing to my natural ingestion of
Dionysus' blood...
     the more i think of it, i do think that writing
can become akin to painting,
it just doesn't have to be rigid, scientific,
order-prone... it can reach the levels of chaos as
easily as it can become dull and a shopping list...
   many people can't see writing as painting
in the same way that language has many more
function of applicable needs in other profession...
read a poem to a surgeon during an operation,
he needs language as rigid as a mountain
that said: no avalanches are bound to me!
     the reason why novels take years to complete
is the over-rule of science in the humanities,
i don't understand why poetry has to be bred for a
scientific pragmatism, that it apparently does work,
akin to soap, or bleach...
          science can poke it's crazy head in every direction
it wants, usually the interchange of words:
                 bang ******* hole (b.b.b.b.) /
   howlin' wolf's backdoor man / **** -
but science has become a dog, barking up the wrong tree...
the money's are down... houston, we have a [problem!
they're down... they're walking upright,
they lost the joys of having a tail and swinging from
tree to tree, and if an abstract parasite akin to cancer
doesn't **** them... your argument will surely be the one
thing that will... eventually.
    
and i did mention runes, didn't i?
   well... if writing can be anything like painting,
it can only ingest ******* as foundation,
  no shapes, no cubism, no definite "things"
(for lack of a better name)...
        just spontaneity... and hazard, and chaos...
just like life evidently seems to be bound to
reveal itself as guarding against nothing...
well... i appreciate the runes...
not in an ****-Satanic cult sort of status,
i just appreciate them because the Slavs didn't leave
any original phonetic code...
     which is why Poland is still so ****** catholic,
minus the Pope? add the proper post-script to communism?
it might have been the next Russia with its oligrachs,
minus the gas pipes and all those resources
people boast about, but who weren't originally
bound to inherit, like Arabs and oil...
   you need practical nations using the resource,
western nations, overly-bureucratic nations that
make a man "do a job" licking envelopes and shooting
ink into fountain pens...
         just saying...
hard to be lazy, hard to be mystic, harder still being
a monk... wait and see how these peeps talk when
they retire... it's hard being lazy, "lazy"...
        now i see heidegger's concept of dasein
as the real problem of happening, how things necessarily
and subsequently, unnecessarily happen...
then i look the alien remnants of nomadic tribes of
the Amazon and realise: they're still here,
but nothing's happened.
or that's how i take a break from that german's ponderings,
and loosen into some sort of stroll...
       just about the right time,
when poetry stops talking about sounds,
and takes to complicating modern painting,
akin to working on complicating a square,
  the most famous to be worth complicating (rather
than contemplating) would be piet Mondrian...
   if you ever find the spare time:
i'll be in the space that tries to revive the runes
under no ******* ᛋᛋ...
to be honest, i'd like to refine several runes...
given that the non-diacritical latin is largely lost to
the virtual world...
what runes would i refine?
   ᚲ (k / c) at least make it larger, like <,
ᛃ (j), i'd probably just call is skew, i.e. /,
ᛝ would remain and ᛜ would be lost
to denote the grapheme ŋ (i.e. njae) -
and that's because i'm either itchy, or stitching up
a carpenter's worth of lack of cruve,
   like the arabic alphabet is curved twice-over
and the woman are clad in shadow and ninja and niqab...
just like runes once were, hiding curves,
or at least the men overly defensive of their woman...
once the latin curves were introduced...
well: there came the mini-skirt, and the mini-couper car.

who needs a big bang origin, when you can have all
of this? if i kept that much dynamite in my head
i'd be seen wearing hawaiian shirts short-sleaves
and drooling over porridge at breakfast...
        and my... when was it such a sin to drink
***** and listen to the blues?
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2015
you never really say piranha.... it’s more like piraña... no wonder english without the necessary diacritic spans north america and australia and the emoji platform, so the romans said: bonum, sed ν (nu) *** linea obliqus, sic ha est ad hoc tetragrammaton pars, et allah est la la; quamvis latin est mort scriptio autem non clara voce - basically just write some latin using english grammar, what’s beneath it? guess.*

i’ve written almost 10,000 poems and still i can only
remember having said one or two memorable things,
i mean, for god’s sake, the pedigree maine ****
that lived with me for the 7 years he lived to
dying of kidney failure said more memorable things
than i did, having only said meow / miał (i.e. he had it, once),
maybe that’s because i don’t actually cradle these outbursts
to much appreciation, hence my own worthy critique -
but like i said it once admiring spiderweb threads and the washing lines:
by the casual phrasing ‘killing time,’ i’m sure people invoke
the meaning: to occupy a definite space;
the antonym? that’s a bit what philosophy preaches - ‘to stand outside
all of time and space,’ well the first one i can do and feel remorseful
concerning boredom, but that gives me an indefinite space,
although this whole ‘killing time’ is a great option, i’m going to
schwarzenegger time with a sawn off umlaut, ooh... kick to the groins
watch the crouching tiger hidden *** change - and occupy
a definite space. see, you have to find the hammers and the chainsaws in language
to escape the waterfall of fictional narration, obviously grammatical
categorisation of words makes it easier to suddenly realise:
am i really typing, or actually hammering a word in?
but realising that grammatical categorisation of words
exposes unlikely-to-turn-rusty tools gives writing a whole worth
of sanity, as no longer the chance encounter, but a safe environment
to abseil like a spider which lost the plot of creativity famed by the cobweb, just ******* out a piet mondrian.
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2015
the first time tristan tzara put his hand
into a bag with clippings from newspapers
of individual words and started rapping
at the cabaret voltaire,
after william burroughs extended this
method and instead jumbled up paragraphs
and even sentences rather than single words
to avoid being poetically terse:
and later proclaimed that writing is 50 years
behind painting... you can still get
it wrong in terms of defining the mood of
an era of a method... preceding them was
piet mondrian - with that new york grid
depiction in the vein of minimalistic cubism...
just squares and lines... what tristan tzara
stumbled upon was how to translate a jackson
*******, or a kandinsky with words into words -
the chaotic splatter of colour into ink monochrome;
it really isn't that easy to write out a jackson *******,
it requires a sort of automation, a knowing automation,
it's primarily intuitive - you don't know what
the exact content will be in each case, but you do
know that you're writing in a context of translating
your very own kandinsky - even though you're
not necessarily looking at an example of kandinsky's work;
but let's be pedantic, first tzara, then mandrian,
then burroughs, the painters retreated into
mathematics and a theory of colour, putting them
on equal footing with plato's theory of forms,
but to get the setting, poets scout, poets are scouts,
writers of fiction are the actual army, who
come with bulging sentences, clear depictions
(clearly blood will be shed, the uproar of two sides
clashing and the sharpening of swords
and the swift swooning down of sharpened pin-like
arrows with hussar wings to frighten even more),
poets scout the new territories - the plateau
is never jumbled in fiction, such writers set out
with clear vision and aim at running for miles
without anything changing, but scouts enter
difficult terrain... many twists, many turns,
such obstructions as trees, mountains, bees
butterflies and seances of witches, not to mention
gnarling wolves - for these scouts are obstructed
by images, and because of that, some of them
report very little for the army of paragraph
hunters... but some join rank with them,
after all the scouting is done - they too take up
a weapon and stand shoulder to shoulder
with the giants like tolstoy - although lessening
the narrator's role a little.
Dr Peter Lim Feb 2021
Fairtale cottage

blurs the edge of reality

supreme fantasy
SirDlova Mar 2014
They say love don't die,
That's a lie.
They pretend and act as if everything is fine,
Meanwhile their heart beats beat with a new style of a cry..why hide?
Come don't u be shy.

From miles..I used to get a call from my wife,that I would even smile.

I even forget that she's so far.

Wouldn't you wonder what happens after those lovely calls?
Well she called,I answered and she wasn't calling on perpose.
That "redail" button got knocked by mistake
"Baby I prepered stake for supper"
And that's what I heard
I wonder what were the starters..I heard oooohs and aaaaaahs
I was so glad
Now that I know she was cheating.
Droped my fone and I turned on my stove
Cooked stake for supper,
Because it was also my favourate meat
And it was my twin brother that made my wife tapout..**** Piet!
Long relation"ships" are sinking
Dr Troy Sep 2019
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Mateuš Conrad Jun 2017
sketch, tzn. szkic; see what a bit of *** allows you to see?
Δ + ∀
, the "hyphen" moves to the base, then the two intertwine, and then you twist it to the side, like the nazis did, twisting the *******; oh ****! a carpet and a book!

for there is an hour, as there is a minute,
as there is a second...
  cut off from second?
           π: formula 1, or to the third
    decimal point, i.e. 0.yzx...
   but in terms of direction:
    what is meta-, ortho- or para- in relation
to an hour, a minute, or a second?
   is an hour a meta- description?
        or is it ortho- or para-?

1 hour = 60 minutes,
      1 minute = 60 seconds
                      
a second denotes a para- position
   subsequently, twins, beside
               its larger siamese twin of 60s,
the minute, which takes 60 to make
up an hour:
                      minutes are
ortho- positioned,
         hours are, ergo, meta- positioned...

   but of the χ ξ ς?    where's the other 6?
     chi ksi ****?

how well it resembles the greeks writing
a testament:
   12 disciples, and 1 guru:
  Y ( | | | ) + H ( | | | ) + W ( | | | | ) + H ( | | | ) =
                  13, otherwise known as
the devil's dozen.

the reason why i don't believe in the practice
of gematria (numerology),
   is because i deem it as superstitious
as astrology...

   i have an alternative though:
a "geometry" of numbers & of letters,
   even though no such geometry exists,
beyond Δ (delta)
            i.e. the equilateral realm.
    nonetheless, avoiding curvatures of
certain units, e.g. g (σ with baggage) -
  
but there is a big-bang geometry here,
  starting with point dot                 .
i forgot to concern myself with actual things,
after all: there was void,
       and then with language: came god,
and that means: language is god,
                     esp. written language -
to me, language is god, i have no superficial
belief in a being, like atheists do,
   some supra-natural santa claus:
acronym in legal terms for the existence of:
ahem...     santa claus is an acronym of
       satan's clause, a bit like the first or second
or third or whatever, in terms of american
                  amendments of the constitution.

what i will probably cite, later on, is heidegger's
    foretold future, encapsulated in aphorism
    261 of ponderings IV...
                                      *didactic preaching
,
it's everywhere on youtube.

p.s.
      people write poetry like they might draw
a piet mondrian, or study trigonometry,
  or genesis pythagoras...
                   there is never to be any chaos...
                          no heart, no judge, no fury...
   finely knit, like a crossword puzzle...
       perfect form,
                  nothing concerning a
                     phosphorescent-azure moon...
    a UB-moon: ultra-blue moon...
                              the sun is, after all UV...
   if you look closely at it...
                it vibrates, in the naked eye of
                 the beholder, vibrations of ultra-violet...
    this cohesive narrative, is no more!
                   but of course,
    there are creative writing workshops...
        those leeches of original ideas...
                        it's more rubric worshops
         of managing strait-jacket writers toward
establishing the perpetuation of this horrid
status quo of: books are just like bricks...
  you buy them, put them on a shelf, just to woo
a happless ***-mate into your stinking abode.

— The End —