I knew it wasn't you that passed me
On a bike this morning, but oh,
It looked like you. God,
He looked like you.

And I'm glad he was on a bike,
Somewhat because he wasn't you and
That meant I could let my head
Turn, let myself watch him pass by
With open hunger the way
I could never watch you,
But mostly because on foot I would have
Pulled him close by the coat that
Looked like one you wear and
Whisper in his ear,
"You look like the boy I want to ****,"

And I didn't want to get arrested,
And I didn't want him to take me up
On my offer
(But part of me wanted him to take me

Up on my offer
Because you never would)
Because I didn't know this was
Anything more than hero worship,
I thought this was little love,
Hearts in margins and
Poems in black ink,
I didn't know this was the kind of
Feeling that had people accosting
Delivery boys for wearing dark jackets

And I think I need to give up quick
Before you, me, or the delivery boy
Gets hurt.

'Q

The power of youth
Radiated from the eyes of young James
Dressed in his finest suit
Looking sharper than the edge of his knife that he stole
He ventured out into the young night to find the many others that could be mistaken as his twin, all unique copies of each other.
Soon enough he was drunk
Drunk to the point of no return
Drunk to the point that he couldn't help but feel
He, the ringleader lead on his army of youths
Running, Running to anywhere
Anywhere is better than being with the coppers
They loved to wind the coppers up without a care
All fun was over when they were caught
But the power of youth never fails to kick in
Cheered on by his friends,  young James is spurred on to wind up the grumpy copper that roughly held his shoulder
The copper looked at the boy with pity in his eyes and asked
"Have you been drinking son?, you don't look old enough to me"
"I'm sorry officer is there a certain age you're s'posed to be?, no one told me"
The coppers eyes become littered with mirth at the response he wished he could keep hearing
Only one thought appeared in the mind of the copper, The power of youth.

Do you know
That I pulled my fingers out of yours
Because I was scared of *how wonderful it made me feel?
Do you know
That I like you...
An awful lot...
But I am terrified of hurting myself
Or worse,
Of hurting you?
Do you know
That your smile is the most amazing thing
I have ever seen?
Do you know
How much I miss those
Quiet moments in the dark of the wings,
When you let me put my head on your shoulder?
Do you know
That I cou**ldn't sleep
Because of the ridiculous
Warm-fuzzy-floaty feeling you gave me
When you said that you adored me?
Do you know
How badly I want to kiss you
Kiss you
And hold your hand
And never, ever stop?

1.

And I wish it never ended but I moreso wish you were different.
Thinking back, I may be the one that messed things up for good one too many times and the one who clinged too much, nonetheless:
You want to remain close enough to be a passive enemy
You twist the narrative with half truths that ignored my clarification,
How pitiful I must seem now your rosé tints got lifted and situations happened and our differences clashed and outgrew each other in the span of hours with every subsequent problem.
Now you can cry victim and bully without remorse make-pretending I never felt anything for you? Like I
   was the heartless one, the one who never loved.

O Romeo where art thou? And why must thou be the seed of my perfect enemy? O well, I know I’ve loved stronger than you’re capable of.
Your words can’t hurt me anymore.
We only know each other through what we told.
Expose you me and the rest of the gang, run yourself dry, my disfigured twin-flame of worthlessness; no exaggeration,

You’re the meanest person I’ve ever known and it’s so funny when that spite isn’t aimed at you
But when it gets there you’re then such a pest; biting gum-deep into the skin then crying

to be left alone again, yet never letting go.

Remember when we spoke nonstop for several hours on call?
“Do you feel that glow?” Did you feel the hangover of us going passed our limits?
Was that all fake? Did you ever feel anything at all towards me or were you just that lonely?

I really hope I never know the answer, you make me sick as a person…

2.

Why should you go on killing yourself out there arguing with her on public facebook timelines? just killing yourself over and over to prove a point against someone
Who’s already long decided the audience’s verdict on you?
Our moods pendulum and swat up and down so sensitive who is who I regret every thing I ever told you, *****

I’m glad my face makes your stomach turn. You drag me outside just to spit at me in the crowd.
I’ve never made up after breaking up before, it became a daily occurrence for us two…
Or near enough…
O poor you two, what can I say?
Act your age and stop falling in love over the phone screen.
Your heart’s not broken, it’s just sick of being empty, I’m glad we got to know each other
Even if I’m worse off than when you first met me
O well, O ******* well, the saints too are calling in. It’s okay
If you cared more than your love did, at the end of the day dawn roosts
Waiting to swell the sky. In other words: it’s a chance encounter and familiar enough outcome that you really should be used to by now.

3.

I just wish it was me but it’s not and that’s okay too, I just kinda wish we got to meet
But god knows in the space of a week I’d seen enough of you, and you me.
I kinda miss you still, I’m in pieces, there will never be another like us
But I guess that was always just words to you,
and I’m weak as the ******;
But fate brought us to together to argue infitum, privately then on your digital stage, uglier and uglier until it has to end;
**** it; means nothing, I’ve become you a dozen times over, I can ignore you just as heartlessly.

You asked what’s the matter but you can’t handle being the problem, can you?
And in hindsight I was the problem more often than not, O well **** it; means nothing

I guess it never did to you after all, babe,

You live to hurt and I live for pain, babe.

How long did we have until too much was said?
I swear you loved half as intently as you hated, and babe, that’s really saying something.

For a second I got lost, I trusted you like a lover worth moving too fast for;

Everything I gave you is conscrewed or it’s the truth cropped and bare for the world to see. What else can I say or do other than make it clear that I’m speechless?

I’m so glad that we met and I’m so glad it’s over
I miss you so much and I’m so glad it’s over

In the end you hate me O well it’s over.