captured in the psych ward, new year special
it’s new years eve and ron bought along his punch bowl and a few sushi dishes
as well as party sandwiches, to make the people in the psych ward have a good atmosphere
for the new year, and this year charlie chaplin man was going to read all of his poems as the
entertainment and the nurses did a lot of work so the patients feel calm enough to enjoy
charlie’s show, so medication time was before the show and even charlie, because he was worried
he would yell very loudly if he didn’t and then it started
ron said, ok guys we are going to have a mini new years eve concert run by this man charlie chaplin
charlie said, welcome and happy new year and my first song is The schitzophrenic
You see I am sitting at the mall
I am having dillusions of people teasing me, and I wish this will all stop, oh please, just leave me the f..k alone
And then I hear voices that aren't really being said o hear Jon killed my best friend named Fred, the thing is I have no best friend, oh year
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first diagnosis till the day you reach 45, you see if i take medication it can be controlled yeah oh yeah
I am schitzophrenic
Then I went to see my psychiatrist and he told me, to try and get a life, I told him I was blackbeard and John F Kennedy, he just threw a smart *** comment my way, I thought that comment was rude and ******, yes it is hard to be liked when you do
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Yes it's easy to do, just let me hang out
You see with my medication it can be controlled, ooooh
I am schitzophrenic
You see I get paranoid when I see people around and right wing governments want us locked up
It mighty hard to have this illness and I cab say this
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
Do it once and you get all hooked and after that you feel like a geek, cause your a schitzophrenic, and also with medication it can be controlled
Oooooh I'm a schitzophrenic
Yes, that's true
charlie said, that was a great song and it’ll get you started ya know, the next song is maybe later
maybe later, i will get what i want
maybe later, i will rediscover the beauty
of being alive in this great world
it’s just a long-awaited journey
from beginning to end
and i will try and enjoy the moment
in the psych ward spotlight
i say, please slow down, your moving too fast
please almighty one, let me live long enough to give
a poor old soul a home
they don’t want a bench and they don’t want an old burnt out hall
it’s not fun for me
to look at these big buildings
with hot shot business types, when your not one
it’s enough to drive you mad
please make me except it could be later
the next song charlie sang was standing on the inside looking out, a song that explains what we are going through
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
in the psych ward trying to get better
you see i was visioning i was in glenelg bay
but instead you get doctors saying how are you enjoying your day
i wished i was well and enjoying my life
instead of being in here wasting away
then i called out to almighty god
and the best i can get is a man who claims he is jesus christ
i said, no, were you nailed to the cross
and he said yeah after i rode in on my horse
and i said wasn’t it a donkey you ran in on and i was
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
in the psych ward trying to get better
i was getting bored, so i asked the nurse
to give me a pass out to the cafe
because i was starting to lose my mind
and when they said no i let out a little wine
i said please please please, mate, this place is driving me mad
the inmates here, smell really really bad
so the nurse made me a banana smoothie and i said thanks
and took it away to my bed, walking past every room before mine
i even tripped over a piece of fishing line
then i sat down in my glenelg bay apartment sipping my smoothie saying
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
in the psych ward trying to get better
dinner time came and i had fish and chips
it was ever so discusting, ya know like hospital food
i opened my orange juice and gave it one almighty sip
and i ate my chocolate mousse, yeah it is as tasty as
when dinner was over i went to the TV room
to watch the news and home and away
then some dude came into watch it with me
and he said, did you know i was GOD, i said, no
as i sat there thinking i was
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
in the psych ward trying to get better
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
standing on the inside looking out
in the psych ward in the psych ward
in the psych ward trying to get bet-ter
charlie chaplin after that song was over sang his small poem titled a smile has nothing on us, here goes
whether you let out a big smile or not
you could add it to your melting ***
what you need is a great big melting ***
big enough to take the world and all it’s got
every thing that you can eat
my rundown car is really neat
the coffee urn is piping hot
boiling whether you like it or not
but your smile comes through and through
like a fresh flower, blooming every day for me and you
i try to smile all the time
cause it’s very fun to do
i like smiling, cause it’s fun
charlie then announced his next song saying spare me, because when your poor you always say spare me. here goes
spare me some money for the bus
spare me some money for the bus
spare me some money
so i don’t look like such a dummy
spare me some money for the bus
spare me some cutlets for my tea
spare me some cutlets for my tea
spare me some cutlets
and some vegetables
thank you very muchlets
spare me some cutlets for my tea
spare me some wine to go with that
spare me some wine to go with that
spare me some wine
so i can feel so divine
spare me some wine to go with that
spare me some chocolate for after that
spare me some chocolate for after that
spare me some chocolate
so i can have what you have
spare me some chocolate for after that
charlie then said, my next song is every day is a day of disappointment because being here really *****
Every day is a day of dissapountment
One day as I was walking down a busy street, saying g'day to everyone who u walk past, then I went back through the park and I saw so many walks of life, from the beggars asking for money and the rich refusing to give it to them, and it all sounds so crazy as I walk through doing nothing like that, after that I felt a bit peckish, so I went to the take-away to buy myself an hamburger with egg and bacon and there was this weird looking fella standing at the door, greeting each customer with a smile, he didn't really work there, but he will never be told to leave, cause he ain't a threat, oh no, then after that I went to the grocery store to buy enough supplies to last me for a week, or maybe more, I could hardly know, then after that, all that shopping made me a bit thirsty, so I went to the sports club and drown my day away, with a ice cold fosters lager or a ice cold can of VB, after that I will get so drunk o could hardly stand up and my friends drove me home and they also walked me inside, just to make sure, I don't collapse on the front lawn, you see, your day seems to go from good to bad, if you make the wrong choices and that makes every day, a day of dissapointment, after that horrible night on the *****, I got up and had a hangover cure, consisting of two raw eggs and worcestershire sauce, yes that sounds so very tasty, yes I love it and live by it, it really makes me feel like I can have a party in my mouth and everyone is invited to spend about a year or so, at the local sports club doing one thing every single day, and then after that you won't seem like every day is a day of disappintment for everyone on this earth
charlie then decided to pretend he had a best mate named albert waldron and back then albert gave him lyrics to a song, here it goes
Alfred Waldron looking back, oh yeah
You see I was a great footballer, man
Yes, I was so ace, but it was a long long time ago
About close to 1 hundred years
You see I payed in South Australa
And I played footy very well, and after the match
I would go to my car, and get my BBQ an start cooking the snags
Yes, I loved that, it was really really cool
Everyone thought I was an average cook
And they all came over for some meat
Yes, I even had some nice cold beers
Yes, I think thats so very cool
As I cooked the meat, the other players were saying
Come on mate, cook us some nice beautiful Aussie snags
I also played cricket, for South Australia as well
And I even took my BBQ to the cricket for after match food
The only way you can do that now, is if you just stayed local
And some days, like at the footy and the cricket
Every player got very vocal
I was a real Australian guy, who loved to play, footy or cricket
And I loved the BBQ at the end, yes it was so esquized
Yes I had the muscles, and I have lots of those
Everyone enjoy eating a snag a sausage
And then an egg and bacon roll
Since that footy life ended i felt cool
ron said to charlie just one more song because people are yelling and we can’t control them, but charlie we will have the midnights fireworks for you, ok
charlie said he has got his fresh old legs going wild here it goes
they will dance
they will run
into the midday sun
they will race
warm embrace
be a bit lazy
head to the pub
go to the shop
to buy some clothes
angels coming down
worshipping the town
playing football
driving cars
around the good old town
having drinks with the guys
fresh flowers for sale at the shop at SHOPRITE
SHOPRITE SUPERMARKET
CUTTING ALL THE FOOD BILLS YEAH
spiders coming through the window
to destroy all mankind
makin g lamb for dinner
nicest you’ve ever seen
i said i will stay home and watch my mate, mr bean
yeah, your fresh legs go wild
when they do all these things
and before the end, charlie got the entire staff and patients to sing auld lent zine at 10.00 pm
because everyone was getting tired and cranky
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o’ lang syne!
Chorus:
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
We twa hae run about the braes,
And pu’d the gowans fine,
But we’ve wander’d mony a weary foot
Sin’ auld lang syne.
We twa hae paidl’t in the burn
Frae morning sun till dine,
But seas between us braid hae roar’d
Sin’ auld lang syne.
And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere,
And gie’s a hand o’ thine,
And we’ll tak a right guid willie-waught
For auld lang syne!
And surely ye’ll be your pint’ stoup,
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet
For auld lang syne!
ron and charlie were helping each other clean up while the other patiens were being injected with ******
from yelling too much and after the cleanup was done, charlie went to the TV room to watch the fireworks
that were on at midnight on the TV, meanwhile, ron clocked off and went to the pizza hut and went home to
watch the fireworks on the TV thinking, today, ron made charlie a happy man, by letting him do his concert
it wasn’t till midnight but they can’t do that in the HDU.