While driving down a country road
One dark and lonely night
My engine began to spit and sputter
From a strange and mysterious light

I saw this little green spaceman
With antennas on his head
He was standing beside my window
And this is what he said

"Take me to your leader,
Or we will end your life"
So I did exactly what he said
And I took him to my wife

When I got home my wife was mad
And asked me where I've been
I told her about my crazy night
And about those little green men

She asked if I'd been drinking
And I don't drink a drop
About that time that spaceman yelled,
"Okay now, everybody stop"

Now my wife was really ******
And said, "Who do you think you are?"
She grabbed him by his spaceman ear
And drug him from that car

Now, there she was in curlers
With that spaceman by his ear
I think he might have peed himself
As he stood there in all his fear

Now you may not believe my story
But I've got a souvenir
When they beamed that spaceman back to his ship
My wife held on to his ear

So if you ever see a UFO
Don't scream and run for your life
Just take him to your leader
And by leader I mean, my wife