.
                                
                             om mani
                          padme  hum
                       om mani padme
                       hum   om   mani
                      padme  hum   om
                      mani padme hum
                      om  mani  padme
                      h­um   om     mani
                      padme   hum  om
                      mani padme hum
                      om  mani  padme
                      h­um   om     mani
                      padme   hum  om
                      mani padme hum
                      om mani   padme
                      hum   om     mani
                      padme    hum  om
            mani padme hum om mani

        padme hum        om mani padme

          hum om mani        padme hum

I'm the Emperor and my face looks like a prune.
I have dark circles around my eyes which also makes me look like a raccoon.
My name is Palpatine but I'm also known as Darth Sidious.
Everybody pukes when they see me because I look hideous.
I was able to trick Anakin Skywalker into turning to the Dark Side.
I actually convinced him that I had the power to save his bride.
I can't believe that I was able to turn him into a Sith Lord as easily as I did.
He actually believed that he could save Padme by killing Separatists and kids.
I thought that my new Death Star was safe from the rebels, I thought that I had won.
But Darth Vader dropped me into the main reactor of the Death Star to save his son.
Luke Skywalker removed Lord Vader's mask and he became Anakin Skywalker again.
I still can't believe that those **** Ewoks were the reason why my Empire didn't win.

"Hail to the jewel of the lotus."
Om mani padme hum
From muck beauty grows,
Om mani padme hum,
Om mani padme hum.

wisdom burns through my veins,
Igniting endorphins into flames,
Primordial fire,
Exhale desire,
Detach from the self

I will love all who cross my path
I will treat them with kindness and compassion,
Wear my heart on my sleeve, but not for fashion
I feel a swelling in my heart you can't even imagine,
My spirit lifts, soars,
Powerful, born of dragons

I will take only what is given
Receive humbly, give naturally
I will help others reach the top of the mountain,
Making leaps and bounds over life's long climb
I will offer them water,
And let them drink from my hands
When they've become to weak to help themselves
Because those who would tend to the Buddha,
Would tend to the sick, the tired, and the famished

I will live in the present moment,
Not in my inescapable past or independent variable of a future
The only time is now,
And I'll liberate myself from the chains of suffering
I will be free,
I will return home

This is my Mantra

when i was six years old my whole family went to disney world and being the self-respecting born and bred star wars fans we were, my brother and i cajoled our parents into letting us buy pictures of our little faces photoshopped onto the faces of star wars characters.

my brother? anakin skywalker. and me? aayla secura.
who you probably haven't heard of, even if you're a pretty big fan of the series. to get you up to speed, aayla secura was a jedi knight and a general during the clone wars era in the prequel trilogy, which is all suitably ******* badass, but if i remember right she has roughly five minutes of screen time in the movies and even less in lines. and you probably remember her as that one blue chick.

and if i remember right she was also one of about three or four female options for the pictures. sure, there was padme amidala and princess leia, who are badass ladies in their own rights, but see the thing is that no six year old watches starwars and thinks to themselves, "hmm, i want to be a politician!" you think to yourself, "i want to be a jedi." and the only option that was a girl and a jedi was a background character.

but that's the thing isn't it? being a background character, a love interest, a side-kick is something girls grow used to seeing themselves cast as. sure, we're in the movie, but with half the lines and screen time. never the center of the story. never the hero, just the pretty girl with fluttery eyelashes he saves. too often i found myself having to invent my own characters and stories so that i could feel that i was part of a narrative, too.

and suddenly, more than ten years too late for for six year old me but just in time for a whole new generation of little girls, the person in the center of the poster clutching a blue lightsaber like a beacon of the light side was a girl.

so this halloween as i'm handing out candy i will see myself in every little girl with her hair twisted into three buns and light saber in her hand and the galaxy in her eyes. finally, finally the story is about her.

I'm a Gungan from the planet Naboo and my name is Jar Jar Binks.
Senator Padme put me in charge once even though I don't even have the ability to think.
George Lucas brought me to life with a computer, I'm a product of CGI.
Because many Star Wars fans find me irritating, they want me to die.
Many people hate everything about me, they hate my voice, my six foot tongue and my orange skin.
Now that the prequels are over, those people are thankful that they'll never have to see me again.

We used to say " I love you";
Now we just think it.
The people we became
are an odd fit.
I will admit
I am no longer pleasant
to be around.
Constant scowls and frowns
amidst the silence.
The clicks of keyboards
divide us.
Define us.
Align us.
We used be to analogous
like Bubble gum Princess
and Finn.
Just like them we've become unakin.
Padme & Anakin.
My fear of loosing you has caused me to loose you.
Like an episode of That's So Raven;
attempts at the prevention
of the future
ripped open the sutures
in my heart once again.