An ashtray full of buts smoked away by conversations of the past.
I'll show you open wounds that can't be healed,
If you tell me secrets that, til then, they had last.
Hang up those shoes with holes of adventure,
on the subsiquencial line to nothingness.
It's not as if we'll spawn again,
you've already left me to forget,
but you can not pretend that none of this was worth anything,
that you wouldn't come back if it hadn't gone to ****.
You can't just blame me for the things that you did!
Untied laces,
Missing pieces,
empty bowls and missing lighters.
unforgotten memories eating at me,
the person i was taunting the person I've become.
I've always heard the weak pull down the strong.
these inevitably destructive visions,
unfinished cigarettes,
half empty bottles flat in the morning,
stolen clothing and broken glass.
I doubt whatever this seems to be,
the feeling that hits me from the past,
a confused, somehow nostalgic me.
Yet, everything is better now,
no one to be harmed by and no one to soak up disrespect from,
only a perfect protray of everything I lacked before,
and this.. this is what I've been in need of,
a reliability that I love and they may love me in return.

Blueberry sunsets
Orange Citrus sunrises
in this land of miracles and moment's suprizes.
A rollercoaster of weather
Temeperatures vary like Baskin Robbins' 32 Flavors
Winds hit me like whips
Sometimes Like gentle Kisses
Any person who fails to visit here
Doesn't know what they have missed.
The good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly
We also have the great,the greatest, and the greater still...
Our land has a multitood of lands with it's unique magic
More than just the News reported gloom and doom
We have destinations to visit that scream "Nastalgic."

Cutting like a knife,
Sharp are your words of disdain.
I feel the nastalgic haze of my own nonchalant demeanor seep in through me like an acidic ooze.
There is nothing more than just my heart in the pit of my stomach.
I caress my cold shoulder, the way I imagine you would do.
But you do not see my signals,
This want, and need from you,
It is your touch my heart burns for...
But all I recieve in return is your neglect towards my urges,..
No burning hot touches to arose me,
No exploration of each others body.
Just this bed. And us in it.
When will she love me again?..
This distance in between us.

you can't get mad at me
because I remember when you begged
and you cried on the phone
and told me you read all of my poems
and that you were sorry
and you would make everything better

because you knew how I loved you so

but it was already so far gone
it was much too late

I had already cut out a piece of my heart
and soul
that I will never get back

so you can't get mad at me
for struggling to give you space
because you and me was all I ever knew

and I made it all the ******* way back
this time last year I wanted to **** myself
**** MYSELF FOR JESUS ******* CHRIST
AND IM STILL HERE
WITH NO HELP FROM YOU

I made it I made it

I made it

tears of joy fall down my face now
because I didn't do it!!
I didn't do it
God knew I was far too important to take my own life
and that I deserved to find myself again

I can't promise you most things
but I will promise you this

I won't fall in love again like I did
and I'm not trying to be sentimental
or nastalgic

love tears you to pieces
while you think it's stitching you together
until you realize
the stitches were made of glass
and the hands you left your heart in were made of thorns

so I stole it back
and I'm stitching up myself now

I'm using my pain as my indestructible thread
to piece myself back together

so you can't be mad at me for trying to deal with things the best I can

because I MADE IT BACK
I DID
you may have felt your own pain but you can never be in my head
and I wouldn't wish that upon you

so don't accuse me of trying to destroy you
when the only thing I've come close to destroying is myself

this isn't about you
this has always been about me