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i write to express myself even if its bad ahah., i love comments and criticism so please feel free to leave some of that!
wa, usa
writer, artist
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singingghosts May 2016
chocolate mojito cake??
singingghosts
May 2016
triple layer chocolate cake (hint of coconut) with mint lime cream filling completely encased in chocolate.
WHAT YOU NEED
8oz cream cheese
1 and 1/4 stick of butter
possible 3 cups of powder sugar
2 limes
fresh mint
all purpose unbleached flour
white sugar
baking soda
Cocoa power
salt
2 eggs
coconut extract
buttermilk
vegetable oil
water
dark chocolate chips
whipping cream
I can't remember what else but I say what below in case I missed something
FILLING:
8oz cream cheese
1 stick butter
2.5 cups of powdered sugar
3 tablespoons lime juice
2 teaspoons lime zest
half handful of mint leaves
BLEND mint, lime juice & zest together. you want mint to be tiny tiny.
BEAT butter and cream cheese together. I leave them out, sometimes I heat them up to make it easier to beat.
BLEND lime mint mixture into cream cheese butter.
ADD powder sugar.
MIX all together by hand first.
get a hand mixer or beater or whatever and literally beat the **** outta that stuff. until it whips up as much as possible.
PUT it in the fridge for a few minutes. like 10. just to check how it does. if it's not a consistency like cream, beat it more and add half a cup of confectionary sugar.
CAKE MIX: (realistically you can just buy cake mix)
2 cups all purpose unbleached flour
2 cups white sugar
3/4 cup cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup vegetable oil (or any type of shortening you prefer)
1 cup water
2 teaspoon coconut extract
put all the dry ingredients into a bowl. MIX with a whisk or something. if you have sifter, use that to break up the flour. you wanna get all the dry ingredients mixed pretty well before you add wet.
ok, so flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt. all together. great job.
next, BEAT all the wet ingredients together NOT INCLUDING THE WATER.
you beat the eggs, buttermilk (don't replace this with regular milk), oil, and extract. once it's all blended all nice, add it to the dry and mix it together by hand.
you use an electric mixer or beater now. the reason you hand mix everything first is to avoid a bigger mess when the machine mixes because it can make the dry ingredients spread out like ****. and I hate messes. so I'm extremely **** in the kitchen.
ok now just beat it all baby. add the water slowly. a lot of people will tell you to use boiling water. you can but I don't suggest it to anyone who has never used boiling water in a batter before... so I'm not suggesting it.
it should be runny and also delicious. if it's not, uhm... oops? mine was great. you ****** up. let's continue.
GANACHE!!!!!: (wait until the cakes done AND COOLED to do this part tho!!!)
get a ***
add a bag of dark chocolate or milk chocolate whichever you want. I prefer dark chocolate while baking.
I really eye this so I'm throwing caution to the wind here and pour maybe 3/4 cup of heavy cream or whipping cream.
also, 2 tablespoons of butter. (you don't NEED the butter but I like what it does to the ganache)
ok now on low heat leave those things in the ***. mix it a little. DONT LET IT BURN. MEANING, DONT PUT IT ON HIGH HEAT. YOU WANT A SLOW MELT
Ok so. mix it until it's creamy and silky and soft. but seriously do this part at the very end.
get three 9 inch cake pans. spray, butter, coat, oil WHATEVER just grease the ******* pans.
use a measuring cup because you want each cake layer to be the same. do 1.5 cups of batter in each. if you have left over, divide it by three.
bake it at 300F for 30 minutes
don't open the door between those 30 minutes. when you do, poke middle with toothpick. if toothpick comes out clean, it's done.
let cool completely on a cooling rack.
some people cut the tops off to make the cake layer even. I **** at cutting things evenly unless it's ******* so I have my own method. I suggest cutting though. you can also cut the edges if they're crispy but I like it that way.
ok. the ganache. get a spoon and just coat the top layers of the bottom and soon to be middle layer.
you want all three layers lined up next to each other.
take the *** off the heat while you're doing this. just hold off for a moment. you come back to it.
let the ganache layers cool down. you'll know when it's cool. when this happens get the cream and do a nice layer over the chocolate. now stack them.
it should be from the bottom up: cake, chocolate, cream, cake, chocolate, cream, cake. (try to stack in on a cooling rack)
take the rest of the cream and evenly spread it over the entire cake.
nice. the rest of the chocolate ganache? double check that it is POURABLE but also that it's NOT HOT. warm is ok but a little less than warm would be ideal.
pour. the. chocolate. over. the. entire. cake. if you can do this on a cooling rack, do it. it'll let the excess chocolate drip down. you can take a knife to spread it around nicely. I think that's it. I can't think of anything else.
WHAT YOU NEED
8oz cream cheese
1 and 1/4 stick of butter
possible 3 cups of powder sugar
2 limes
fresh mint
all purpose unbleached flour
white sugar
baking soda
Cocoa power
salt
2 eggs
coconut extract
buttermilk
vegetable oil
water
dark chocolate chips
whipping cream
I can't remember what else but I say what below in case I missed something
FILLING:
8oz cream cheese
1 stick butter
2.5 cups of powdered sugar
3 tablespoons lime juice
2 teaspoons lime zest
half handful of mint leaves
BLEND mint, lime juice & zest together. you want mint to be tiny tiny.
BEAT butter and cream cheese together. I leave them out, sometimes I heat them up to make it easier to beat.
BLEND lime mint mixture into cream cheese butter.
ADD powder sugar.
MIX all together by hand first.
get a hand mixer or beater or whatever and literally beat the **** outta that stuff. until it whips up as much as possible.
PUT it in the fridge for a few minutes. like 10. just to check how it does. if it's not a consistency like cream, beat it more and add half a cup of confectionary sugar.
CAKE MIX: (realistically you can just buy cake mix)
2 cups all purpose unbleached flour
2 cups white sugar
3/4 cup cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup vegetable oil (or any type of shortening you prefer)
1 cup water
2 teaspoon coconut extract
put all the dry ingredients into a bowl. MIX with a whisk or something. if you have sifter, use that to break up the flour. you wanna get all the dry ingredients mixed pretty well before you add wet.
ok, so flour, sugar, cocoa powder, baking soda, salt. all together. great job.
next, BEAT all the wet ingredients together NOT INCLUDING THE WATER.
you beat the eggs, buttermilk (don't replace this with regular milk), oil, and extract. once it's all blended all nice, add it to the dry and mix it together by hand.
you use an electric mixer or beater now. the reason you hand mix everything first is to avoid a bigger mess when the machine mixes because it can make the dry ingredients spread out like ****. and I hate messes. so I'm extremely **** in the kitchen.
ok now just beat it all baby. add the water slowly. a lot of people will tell you to use boiling water. you can but I don't suggest it to anyone who has never used boiling water in a batter before... so I'm not suggesting it.
it should be runny and also delicious. if it's not, uhm... oops? mine was great. you ****** up. let's continue.
GANACHE!!!!!: (wait until the cakes done AND COOLED to do this part tho!!!)
get a ***
add a bag of dark chocolate or milk chocolate whichever you want. I prefer dark chocolate while baking.
I really eye this so I'm throwing caution to the wind here and pour maybe 3/4 cup of heavy cream or whipping cream.
also, 2 tablespoons of butter. (you don't NEED the butter but I like what it does to the ganache)
ok now on low heat leave those things in the ***. mix it a little. DONT LET IT BURN. MEANING, DONT PUT IT ON HIGH HEAT. YOU WANT A SLOW MELT
Ok so. mix it until it's creamy and silky and soft. but seriously do this part at the very end.
get three 9 inch cake pans. spray, butter, coat, oil WHATEVER just grease the ******* pans.
use a measuring cup because you want each cake layer to be the same. do 1.5 cups of batter in each. if you have left over, divide it by three.
bake it at 300F for 30 minutes
don't open the door between those 30 minutes. when you do, poke middle with toothpick. if toothpick comes out clean, it's done.
let cool completely on a cooling rack.
some people cut the tops off to make the cake layer even. I **** at cutting things evenly unless it's ******* so I have my own method. I suggest cutting though. you can also cut the edges if they're crispy but I like it that way.
ok. the ganache. get a spoon and just coat the top layers of the bottom and soon to be middle layer.
you want all three layers lined up next to each other.
take the *** off the heat while you're doing this. just hold off for a moment. you come back to it.
let the ganache layers cool down. you'll know when it's cool. when this happens get the cream and do a nice layer over the chocolate. now stack them.
it should be from the bottom up: cake, chocolate, cream, cake, chocolate, cream, cake. (try to stack in on a cooling rack)
take the rest of the cream and evenly spread it over the entire cake.
nice. the rest of the chocolate ganache? double check that it is POURABLE but also that it's NOT HOT. warm is ok but a little less than warm would be ideal.
pour. the. chocolate. over. the. entire. cake. if you can do this on a cooling rack, do it. it'll let the excess chocolate drip down. you can take a knife to spread it around nicely. I think that's it. I can't think of anything else.
NAME
Aug 2019
mint gum makes my nose tickle
mint toothpaste makes my eyes water
mint ice cream makes my teeth hurt
just like you hurt me
mint toothpaste makes my eyes water
mint ice cream makes my teeth hurt
just like you hurt me
i thought you were bae...
turns out you're just fam.
turns out you're just fam.
Mateuš Conrad
May 2017
well, sure, it's a central american dish...
taragon... infused rice...
no, wait, that's wrong, i'm thinling
of cheap-*** saffron...
ah! turmeric infused rice...
it's a chili con carne...
and i'm looking at it, thinking:
needs some garnish...
**** it... cut up a few mint leaves
and dropped a dollop of yogurt
into the dish...
what?!
what do you imply with
serving a dish, where fresh mint is a garnish?
does the dish sound like any european
might cook, call it a stew and then sprinkle
some parsley onto it?
or does this plate of food, look like something
indian, where you garnish a dish of curry
with some fresh coriander?
******... this is american...
you garnish your grub with mint!
the "apéritif"? hence the inverted commas...
as in... it's not really a drink...
what was it?
brie cheese...
which sounds a lot nicer than having
to brush your teeth... as if expecting to snog someone
in the basin of an hour's worth
of leftover conversation.
china just throws in a bunch of spring onions.
but a chili con carne?
you garnish it with mint,
and if it's really spicy... a dollop of yogurt;
and yes, turmeric is the only substitute to using
saffron...
no... a chili con carne doesn't sound
great, when the garnish is either european parsley,
or south asian coriander;
the north asia garnish? spring onions.
this central american **** (stew) needs mint...
and perhaps some yogurt... if no kashmiri chilies
are used.
taragon... infused rice...
no, wait, that's wrong, i'm thinling
of cheap-*** saffron...
ah! turmeric infused rice...
it's a chili con carne...
and i'm looking at it, thinking:
needs some garnish...
**** it... cut up a few mint leaves
and dropped a dollop of yogurt
into the dish...
what?!
what do you imply with
serving a dish, where fresh mint is a garnish?
does the dish sound like any european
might cook, call it a stew and then sprinkle
some parsley onto it?
or does this plate of food, look like something
indian, where you garnish a dish of curry
with some fresh coriander?
******... this is american...
you garnish your grub with mint!
the "apéritif"? hence the inverted commas...
as in... it's not really a drink...
what was it?
brie cheese...
which sounds a lot nicer than having
to brush your teeth... as if expecting to snog someone
in the basin of an hour's worth
of leftover conversation.
china just throws in a bunch of spring onions.
but a chili con carne?
you garnish it with mint,
and if it's really spicy... a dollop of yogurt;
and yes, turmeric is the only substitute to using
saffron...
no... a chili con carne doesn't sound
great, when the garnish is either european parsley,
or south asian coriander;
the north asia garnish? spring onions.
this central american **** (stew) needs mint...
and perhaps some yogurt... if no kashmiri chilies
are used.