Phew, ****, what's that smell,
This kitchen soo stinks,

Eww, god, is it the bin?
Or maybe the sink,

Rubber gloves on,
Bleach at the ready,
Approach the bin,
Hold the bleach steady,

Jaysus, what, the hell is that stuff,
It looks like some bread, and a teabag,oo, rough,
A doughnut, all soggy, and out of date jam,
My god im a ******, is that cooked ham?,

Bin is all clean,
But still smell a stench,
I've spotted a stain,
On my breakfast bar bench,

O, ****,
That's it,
My baby nephew did it,
His leaky wee *****,
Has smeared on my chair,
Face mask at the ready,
And tie back the hair,

Amazing how sticky a baby's poo gets,
That'll teach you to ignore the"do you think the kids wet?"....

I sit here whistling Dixie sitting down ,
                  a concerto of noises sang out.
No smoking signs loiter the walls,
                  for obvious reasons it has
a picture of a posterior with:
              "No naked flames allowed"

Then there is the score board,
               Beginner,
                            Boaster,
               Legend the hardest to claim.
For that score you have to clear out
not only the downstairs, but wake
those upstairs from slumbering sleep..

Me I'm a boaster, that's when the doors
shut, and all I hear from the sitting room
down the hallway is:
                                    "YOU ******"

Let me just tell you that air freshener
                               is not in my home.
Do you know the smell of both mixing,
lets just say never spraying that again.


Some sit and think, some even sniff there stink.
Me I just read a few pages of a novel on page 163,
we all have our routines  but me I mostly
sit here whistling Dixie sitting down,
                             as concerto of noises sing out.

bucking ted 08.10.18

not spontaneous
it was orchestrated
sweaty and all contagious
only one inflated.
started with a finger
turn him green
some label the handle a ******
but i see the sign on screen.
bit nerve racking
when you did flash
not thinking about stacking
don't do ***** cash.
had to scream
out the hall *******
me and you ted are a dream
300 big ones ensures back with you bucking.