Tick-tock. Tick-tock.
****. ****. ****.
The clock chimes slowly.
****. ****. ****.
The wind whips by outside - a cold flurry in the darkness.
****. ****. ****.
The fire crackles, spitting light and warmth into the room.
****. ****. ****.
The tree stands guard over paper-wrapped packages, a star adorning its head like a crown.

Twelve chimes bring in the holiday spirit.

Merry Christmas.

All this kush we smoke
With a Gatorade makeshift ****
Ja know that its no joke,
Ja know it won't be long!

I can hear the bowl piece roll
This **** is not airtight
For when I try to light my bowl
It jingles through the night, OH!

Jingle ****, Jingle ****, Jingle all the way!
It's no fun
To simply bun
With a loose fitting **** all day, HEY!

Jingle ****, Jingle ****, Jingle all the way!
The whole squad sings
Our bowl piece rings
And everyone feels ok!

Twenty-five pigeons are doing **** rips in my living room.
In the middle of my living room
twenty-five pigeons
are doing **** rips
of **** that they bought
off my next door neighbor
who just happened to have some lying around.
There are twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips in my living room,
and they will not stop watching
Battlestar Galactica.
The twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips in my living room
ate all of my Cheese Nips,
and they drank the last
of the RC Cola I bought.
I try to get
the twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips in my living room
to leave,
because I hate it when they do this,
but they just coo at me
and that shuts me up.
One of the twenty-five pigeons
doing **** rips
in my living room
accidentally knocks over
the ****
and spills bongwater
all over my ******* carpet.
The **** cracks.
They start flapping their wings really hard
and ******* everywhere,
because they're pigeons
and they're mad.
But then,
one of the twenty-five pigeons
produces some hash wax
from under his wings,
and now there's twenty-five pigeons
doing knife hits
of hash wax
over my stove,
and quite frankly
I'm ******.
I run in
and start waving my arms
around,
and scream,
"Get the **** out of here,
who let you in anyway?"
And the head pigeon drops the knife on accident,
and they all fly out of my living room
and into the sky,
all really blazed,
leaving me here,
mad,
with a bunch of stains on my carpet.