Let me love you
You should love me
Either way do it or not
Because I'm not waiting
any longer
I'm alone sitting here
Alone because nobody is with me
and again my mind kills me
with thoughts about the world
how it could be
without me?

chaos erupts like a fire inside my mind
self destructive habits roaming my brain like a familiar terrain
I have become acquainted to the lack on control I have over my mind
i want control, but my body has given up trying to fight the demons inside
I am tired, I am scared.
I am not mine, I am my mind’s.

Wow, this boy really ****** me up.

I wanted him.

I wanted him more than anything.

Every fiber of my body was attracted to this boy.

And I believed every lie he told me, about him wanting me.

Long story short.

He didn't want me at all.

One night, One meet
One feeling of ****** relief.
A few kisses and a few touches
Nothing meaningful nor pointless discussions.
That was the plan, a plan of need
But I guess it was just the beginning of the end for me.

A tiresome battle to control what I feel
has ended as some force drove me to yield.
It didn't do much
yet, it triggered some sort of lust.
Tried to defend this stone heart of mine
Turns out everything was over before I could barely open my eyes.

Vulnerable once again,
As all my hard work has come to an end.
It's nothing now but a piece of flesh
With no barrier or some strong wielded defence.

My earths core now red and warm
Feeling the trembles of an oncoming storm.
Scared and terrified as there's no crust left
No sense of robust
No sign of protection
It's nothing but an open target just waiting for rejection.