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Who am I?
Who am I?
A rebel? A hero?
A monster with blood and bones?
Not one of these things.
A little lion girl, maimed and alone.
A coward, needy and ashamed,
A girl trapped in darkness, begging for a light,
But all she could manage were stumbles through the night.

In the midst of it all, the struggle and fall, I felt my legs give out,
Weak and worn out, I lay in the pit.
For what shall I fight for? This hell? This ****?
Many gathered around and yelled 'you can't quit',
They rattled but could not touch, could not help, for they too are sick.

I heard a gentler voice in the crowd, and I wanted to answer,
But dropped my head in the mud,
With every effort, the pain just grows tenser.

In my heart,  I asked "Who are You?", "Where have You been?" I spat.
Still, You called my name, and cleared the brush and pitfalls so I could get up and walk back,
But I was trapped in a pit,  I was ashamed, without a thought, I sent You away,

Still, You came closer and knelt down to my level so that we were face to face,
"What are You doing?" I bitterly noted, when I saw that You reached for me,
I then swatted your hand and said, "No one tends to these scars, it's too much of a demand".
But you replied; "Not for me, I heal every wound with My love and My own right hand."
So I just sighed and gave into His embrace, what did I have to lose?

With Your hands on my back You picked me up,
You took my feet and set them on a rock,
You breathed into my heart and for the first time, I felt life,
You touched my eyes with your finger, and I saw heaven on earth,
You whispered to my mind, "You can trust Me, Holly.  I am the way the truth and the light"

And in that very moment I knew, I was reborn with the Son,
I walked to the mirror and saw a new reflection, a brave face with purpose,
A lioness who may inherent all of His kingdom under the sun,

And so, this is the end of a testimony, I run down a new road now,
With my hand in God's hand and a smile on my face remembering His first embrace,
Wherever I travel, even in the valley of the shadow of death, I keep a hand stretched out and a heart of trust,
Because My Lord never fails, and already He has conquered all things for us.

And now You're here,
My heart is at rest,
You crushed  my fears.
My life is blessed.
I found the savior,
Praise Jesus Christ.

I will serve you, great God,
For the rest of my days.
For what life can become,
Living for Amazing Grace!

Till kingdom come,
Till kingdom come,
Glory in the highest,
I lift up all praise,
I will love You forever,
My Lord and His Son.
Written about a year and a half ago. It was meant to be spoken out loud, there's a certain cadence I have in my head. Regardless, these are the words.
 Jan 2014 Savannah Charlish
Jay
I once loved a girl that didn't love me back.
10w
 Jan 2014 Savannah Charlish
Jay
I crossed my fingers
and my heart fluttered
because I made a wish
that you could come back.
And oh, how I longed to make that
tiny part of your heart
that belonged to me
whole again.
What is it to be righteous? To walk in godliness and purity? To hold the heart of God like the bride?
I'll admit I've felt complacent, disbelief, and traitorous. My own efforts alone have not filled my cup. But as I've fallen, as I've grown in mercy and understanding.
I recognize the shell of this existence. The temporal wasting of my eyes. I feel my lovers heart and still I want more. Not from selfish desire but because I've felt the inner working of the spirit!
The everlasting father. The bridegrooms love. And the Kings will for my life. After that, there is emptiness. A quaint shadow in the smile of beauty and passion.
All this rest inside my brain, my reasoning mind ticks with thoughtfulness. Reaching with my words to the universal will untouchable. Touchable. Touch me.
Show me. Move in me. Speak to me in my heart. God I want to know that love again. The infinity of your fire burning away my sin.

And it's odd, as I pull my bible out of its cold box. Plastered to Fear And loathing in Las Vegas. I guess I am afraid of what I'll learn. I can't keep ignoring this turbulent hope. But the promise that you are always with me. Gives me strength.
"If you could erase a person and all of the memories that come with them from your mind, would you?"*
Memories of you flood into my head,
Into my lungs,
And I begin to drown.
I don't write about you often,
I don't like to remember you.
It makes me feel as if I made a mistake.
An awful, horrid mistake.
As if I stripped the beach of sand
As I washed away your name
On my lips
With alchol and watched
Your face evaporate with every
Puff of smoke.
Oh how I hate that I still love you.
Others touch me and
it only brings me back to you.
I've had better days
But the nights are the worst.
I've spent each night
Drenched
In tears and sweat
From the sweet words
You used to leave in my ears
Like flowers left on gravestones.
God I love you.
If I could erase my mind of you,
I would never
For you and I grew together
Entangled in each other.
We were one beautiful book
Bound in laughter and sleepy eyes.
But one day that book withered away,
Becoming two completely separate
Novellas.
I wish we never parted.
I'm so sorry.
I would never wish you away.
You asked of me, one thing.
To never leave you behind.
I promise you,
You will never be
Just another memory.
 Jan 2014 Savannah Charlish
Jerry
Your slim figure & stylish cloths,
complement your feminine & **** figure.

The white of your big brown eyes,
complement your pretty white smile.

The fullness of your shiny red lips,
complement your long black & silky hair.

Your long eye lashes & darkened thinned brows,
complement your beautiful skin.

Your soft & ***** voice,
complements your hypnotic .

My heart yearns to save you.
I worry for your very life.

Your perfectly manicured fingernails,
disfigured by the burning, smokey cigarette.

The order of  on your cloths & breath
distracts from your flowery perfume.

Your shortness of breath,
accentuates your asthmatic conditions.

Your strong & intermittent coughing.
worsens by your addictive habit.

Your persistent & consistent.
Slowly deteriorating your body from within.

Why can't you stop?
After many visits to the emergency room,
Why can't you stop?

It doesn't make sense!
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