I took a sip of coffee and thought of you.
You had hurt me worse than anybody could ever do.
I thought it was me.
I thought you could see.

I thought i could trust you.
But you gave me all the reasons not to.
I knew it was only a game to you.
Nothing you felt toward me was true.

I am so terribly sorry.
But if i can not have you, neither can he.
I have to destroy him.
That man...you call husband...

I won't be the other man anymore...

Get over your past, woman!
A dead man doesn't love...
A dead man doesn't touch...
A dead man doesn't make love to you...

Your lover died a long time ago.
Still for him you mourn.

I have been here for too long.
I am running out of time.

Love me or leave me...

A dead man doesn't love...

Why are you weeping...
Why are you shivering...
I see the light in your eyes fading away.
Your people are not to stay.

Swiftly you move among the trees.
Disappearing into the silhouette of the night's kiss.
Aalbertje.... My love... My Precious.
The forest is dark and dangerous.

I touched the back of your neck and kissed it gently.
You turned around to see me as i tightened my grip around your neck affectionately.
I saw the light in your eyes fading away as you fell slowly on the ground as i breathed the sweetness of the air.
So slowly into my dark lair.

My face was the last thing you saw.
Aalbertje... Albertje...
Aalbertje Roweinna Van Loren...

You're in my head.
Your song you thread.
Such a glorious threat.
Hardly catch my breath.

You're in my head.
Crying, my eyes are red.
Empty and hollow like dead.
You know i have bled.

You're in my head.
Squeezing and touching like in my bed.
My Love your empty heart sheds.
To bottomless pit i am led.

*You're in my head...
Always are...

A little girl told me where she was hiding.
Asked me to keep trying.
Eventhough it was impossible to.
As i was drowning too.

She was drowning crying screaming.
I was paddling falling dying.
The dead and the living must learn to live side by side.
We must open our eyes wide.

I see burning orbs hovering over my world.
Flashing lights swirling round swiftly like swords.
The dead and the living must learn to share.
God please...... answer and spare...

Just because i can not see...
Does not mean i can not feel.
I may not be able to be...
But i know what i seek.

I am like a leaky roof.
I let tears pass through me wherever i go.
My sorrow has not yet come to pass.
I am still the same person as i was many years ago.

You mutilated my body and you called it love.
You ripped my heart out and put it on a burning stove.
And then you ate it.....slowly...
Excitedly... Unmercifully...

I am waiting in my room.
In the dark.
Sitting so patienly on my bed.
With vague shadows moving around me.
With the cold air torturing my skin.
I can feel my heart beat  fast.

Then i hear your voice.
Calling out to me.
But i can not see you.
Too dark...
Too cold...

I reach out vaguely into the dark.
And there you are.
Standing right before me.
Cold as frozen morning dew.
Dark as night sky without stars.
Hollow as a disembodied sounds of death.

With outstretched arms i let you in.
You come closer to me slowly without a sound.
And i hold you tight.
So tight.
To never let go.

I can feel your hands dancing on my skin.
I can feel your lips soothing my *******.

And then you vanish.
Just like you did before.
Leaving me in the dark alone.

My lovely shadow lover...

It's 3.33 AM

I look out the window.
It is snowing outside.

I see you down there.
Standing alone staring back at me.

Your beautiful red hair.
Your heart-shaped face.

I close my eyes and sigh.
Suddenly i realize how much i miss you.

No...
It's not you.
You passed away years ago.

I open my eyes and you're still there.
Now staring at me with such a longing.

I go back to bed.
With such a weird feeling.

I stare at the window.
I know you're still out there.
Whenever i look out again.

Cigarette will not be killing me.
Nor will beer.
Nor will drugs.
Nor will diseases.
Nor will guns.
Nor will war.
Nor will men.
Nor will evils.
Nor will God.



You **WILL!

I found this old black and white photograph.
Of a young handsome man.
Who died almost twenty years ago.
He looks so happy.
Perfect smile.
Beautiful eyes.

He looks so full of life.
Not aware of what is coming his way a few days later.

And suddenly i felt like i had known him.
The way he smiled.
His voice.

He was only 21.
They buried him somewhere i do not know.

But his smile told me a lot.
His eyes shared a lot.

If only i had met him.
If only i had known him.
I could have known how he was like.
I could have felt his warmth.

He's the most beautiful dead man i have ever seen.

i walked myself to his gravestone.
It was old and musty.
His name was curved into it.

I did not know what i felt.
But there's something about this man that had touched me.

I still came back to visit his grave years after.
And one day i stopped coming back
I got married and now have kids.

Many years ago, when i was young....
I fell in love with this man...
This handsome young man...

I can not see anything with the rain clouding up my window.
Vague figures are moving out there so slow.
I am waiting for you to come home.
I know from town to town you have roamed.

The sound of the rain thunders, irritating my ears.
Will you ever make it home to me?
I fear the storm is hampering you on your way.
I hope the wind would drive it away.

Hours pass me by and still you are not in sight.
I start to feel so cold inside.
As the rain is falling harder and unmercifully.
And then, slowly but surely i begin to see it perfectly.

I am running in a swirl of time.
I feel so cold and empty.

I find myself standing in the rain against the storm.
Cold and stiff like an old aging tomb.
Right before me i see you through the window...
You are looking out with such a longing on your face, far away i hear a row.

I am right here....
Can you not see me....
I shout out loud as i walk closer to your window.

Open the door...
Let me in...

You keep staring at the storm...
I know you can not see or hear me...
I see tears running down your face...
As you close the window and hide yourself out of my sight....

*I am here...
Let me in...

''I forgot you.
I even forgot your name.
In fact i didn't even know you.
I didn't remember seeing you before.''

You handed me the letter without even looking at me...
I knew... I felt it...
This is goodbye...
You were leaving for good...

So i tried to move on without your happy apple pies every morning.
Without the strong scent of your silky hair on my pillows.

But you came back.
After all i had been through all by myself....you came back.
It was a mistake, you said.

But it was too late.
Too late, dear...
I could not speak anymore.
I could not see you anymore.

There you were...standing in front of a cold gravestone....all by yourself...
Crying... for it was too late...
Too late, dear...

Even if i wanted i couldn't say yes...
I could not speak anymore...
I just could not...
It was too late...
If only you had came back a bit earlier...
If only you had realized how wrong you had been...
I could not speak anymore...

There you lingered for hours...
Before the cold silent gravestone...
That whispered quietly...

''I forgot you.
I even forgot your name.
In fact i didn't even know you.
I didn't remember seeing you before.''

When i first saw you i was not who i am.
Nor what i am.
You very slowly turned me into something i was not.
And i embraced the chance of being something new that you offered me.

You were so full of life.
You were so alive.
I felt like a ghost with you around.
I felt like dead.

You peeled off my face and gave me a new one.
I liked it though.
You ripped my heart out because you said i did not need one.
A gaping hole inside me would make me pain resistant.
Nothing would  bring me down if i could not feel, you said.

You were right...

I felt nothing cutting your throat.
I felt nothing ripping your heart out, leaving a gaping hole on your chest.
I felt nothing burying you two and a half feet under.

I feel nothing now.
Nothing.
I stick my fingers reluctantly into the hole where my heart used to be.
Nothing....


Nothing...

My Prince of Darkness...

Your faithful servant is writting a love letter.
I want thee to know how i feel about her.
She always haunts me in my dreams.
When the world seems to shield from the dark moonbeam.

I love her and i want her heart.
From this world i have come to part.
I only want to be in her world.
Her body and soul i am longing to hold.

I want Thee to know that i will give my soul to Thee.
Such a passion i have is too strong to ignore.
I bind my heart to hers and my soul to Thee.
Take me as i am, my Lord.

Sealed with my blood...
My Dearest Prince, Thine Eyes...

She stood up so proud.
She was sure she had done nothing wrong.
Her mournful beauty saddened the world.
Her time was near as she saw her own shroud.

As gay as morning blooms....
Yet cold as frozen dews...

''Blood would be shed once again.
No pain if you give your soul to me...
You will come back and walk the earth...''

Decapitated souls lost and stranded.
The head is the crown.

Give me thy soul...
And thou shalt live forever as my bride and walk the earth...

Give me your soul, Anne

Your father hates my accent.
I think he's only trying my patience.
Your mother hates my tattoes.
But she's just like your father too.

Your brother and sisters are turning me down.
Your friends don't know for you miles i will run.
They can not feel this kiss, this touch.
Empty spaces i have been through to show you i love you so much.

I killed someone but you have killed me.
You're turning me into a different person.
You see the man in me.
We're sailing towards a new horizon.

Rest your heart on mine.
I am not making love to your father.
I am not kissing your mother.
I am not touching your brothers and sisters.

I am the prince of darkness...
I am a criminal...
I am a murderer...
Whatever i am before them...

I cast your sadness into shadow...
I **** your pain and sorrow...

Náaht tu finnúnf aro'd.....

Today i saw christmas trees everywhere i went.
But you weren't there with me.

I saw happy faces and their eyes told me a thousand stories of warmth and peace.
But i did not have you there to share my stories with.

I went back to the place where i had first seen you, wishing i could sense the shadow of your presence.
I found nothing but my own shadow.

It was raining.
I was running.
Seeking for you alone.
Wandering around.

Then i saw you there.
Emitting your beauty to share.
Standing in the rain.
I reached out to hold you with pain.

And the fog rolled down and covered you, out of my sight.
I closed my eyes so tight.

When i opened my eyes,
You had turned into air.

I saw you there like the first time.
You smiled and my heart chimed.
You came closer, i was frozen on my seat.
Trying to hold my breath and my heartbeat.

You touched my face and looked me in the eye.
You smiled but your eyes could not lie.
I closed my eyes and sighed heavily.
Trying to keep me on my seat steadily.

''I need some space'' you whispered,
Resting your hands on my shoulders.
I did not say a word, i would stutter.
I could hear my thoughts screaming louder.

You had just hung a hung man on the wall of despair and uncertainty once again like an old picture on a boring grey wall...

Men   ...undo...  men.
Devil  ...undo...  men.
God    ...undo...  devil.
Men    ...undo...  God.

You distracted me...
You abused me...
You tortured me...
You insulted me...
You frustrated me...
You trapped me...
You killed me...

You turned me down...

I am going down...

And i am dragging you along with me...

That feels good!

Why
did you
tell me you
love me while
pointing your gun
at me unmercifully

I look up to the sky...
Staring at the pale grey clouds...
And i feel so peaceful...

So peaceful...

Snow is falling outside.
I want to sing you to your dream, my dear...

''Christmas is here.
And you are so near.
Don't mind the pain you bear.
I do not want to see tears.

You do not fear.
I will not dissapear.
Your heart i will endear.
Like music to your ears.''

I put my hands all around her stiffened body...
I have dressed her up so fancy.
So beautiful........ So cold...... So dead...
She cut my heart into shreds...

Dead yet beautiful you are.
Like a star in darkest night.
Shining from afar.
Reluctantly emitting its light.

I touch your cold face.
Your skin has started peeling off.
But i'm not letting you go
Death is just an empty space.

I want to dance the night away...
Through the storm we'll find a way.

Merry Christmas, love....
My beautiful Corpse Bride...

You woke up this morning and saw your little ones sleeping so peacefully.
You watched them breathing and you felt complete.
It is just another simple thing you have in your life.
Still it makes you feel amazed each time
You have plenty of these simple things that make you say your grace no matter what.
Sometimes life is that simple.
All you have to do is love and feel.

Some of us were hurt like mad.
Some chose to move on.
Some chose to linger in their pain.
Some chose to find some truth.

Some of us were desperate.
Some for love.
Some for life.
Some for money.
Some for more time.
Some for recognition.

Some of us were broken.
Some survived.
Some went confused.
Some died.

Some of us were killed.
Some found peace.
Some got stranded.
Some got lost for good.

Have no worries...
It's just some of us...

I
will
love you
till my blood
runs dry. I want
you so bad, blood i cry.


For you i have torn my soul into pieces
To preserve my heart my memory,
my love. I will never die, nor
will my soul. Come to me,
merge with me. Feed on
me. Live and breathe
inside me forever
Oh my heart
My dear
Love

Swiftly he moves and disappears into the darkness.
His ****** hands are cold and his mind is restless.
He just took his lover's life as a sign...
Wrung her through fear and pain....

No angel is redeeming her tortured soul.
In her soul remains a dark vicious hole.

''Loreena, my love...
I have loved you so much that it hurts.
If i had not had your love then there would have been no truth.
My feeling would have turned into thin air.
Your life would not have been spared.

Now he has set her free...
From all the pain she was about to see...
Night has grown darker as he walks towards the river
He throws her body slowly into the water

When a man loves a man...
He will destroy everything around.
Nothing is left safe and sound.

Because that man he loves is himself.