It’s 30 minutes post sunset on a Tuesday.
Today’s been languid,
My body heavy against soft furniture

I’ve chosen to walk through the last bits of dusk until darkness (however lit by street lamps) and listen to the muffled sound of my footsteps and cars passing (I’ve put headphones on with nothing playing)

A shallow stream of water has collected in the wash alongside the bike path I often frequent on these thoughtful evenings

Wondering if I should be releasing that which no longer serves or manifesting something new for my life, I look to the moon

I see a perfect semicircle, exactly in the middle of a cycle (although I’m unsure if it’s waxing or waning)

I continue my walk and enjoy the lights reflecting in the water

Lightning strikes somewhere southwest of me, there’s no thunder so I can’t count the seconds between them

I’m always grateful for the rain in the desert. It makes me feel hopeful, albeit tired

My senses have adapted to the drought

I pass a mesquite tree wrapped in purple twinkle lights, and a bat flies over head (this is the fourth or fifth one I’ve seen tonight)

Your voice is soothing and low
The mild scent of your skin has slowly become a signal of safety
But your heart is beholden to the echoes of your past -
and I cannot allow myself the freedom to crash my weight
Into a body that houses a soul so listless

If only I could be the love you truly need
The one who holds you in just the right way
Who always says just the right thing

But the jagged edges of my form poke you in places far too tender
The pain persists on borrowed time -
and I’m just grateful for the chance to sit with you

I will love you for as long as I can,
In the ways that feel most comfortable
But I will let you go before you grow to hate me
Simply for the shape of my being

never been hit that hard
why am I so hurt?

Don't mind how you start,
It's how you finish that matters.

Polaroid sunshine;
I'm a pyramid scheme
people want to watch
drop dead
in a bowl of soup.

no one cares
til someone pulls the trigger